CARA DELEVINGNE at a Fashion Week party
suit and blouse by Saint Laurent
I spent a lovely few hours on my birthday reading the September issue of Vogue, and I realized that Cara Delevingne’s increasingly iconic eyebrows were staring up at me from practically every other page. This girl was everywhere in the fall 2013 ads, and her penchant for making suits look this sexy makes me love her even more. The silver tuxedo with black lapels is phenomenal, and the lace blouse underneath with shiny pointy pumps and sex hair is a supremely hot combination.
ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELEY at the Elle UK party
jumpsuit by Stella McCartney, shoes by Christian Louboutin
I can’t imagine literally anyone else on earth wearing this without looking ridiculous, but I have to say, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley can make a cut-out full-length leotard look surprisingly cool.
ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELEY at the Another Magazine party
dress by Versus, purse by Stark, shoes by Saint Laurent
I was hoping for more prints or colors or textures from Rosie – I’m sure half the starlets wore something like this to the New York Fashion Week parties, but I like the spin that London puts on fashion. London is sometimes considered the redheaded stepsister of New York, Milan, and Paris Fashion Weeks, but from street style to runway fashion, London is usually my favorite. Sue me; I like coats and plaids.
DAVID BECKHAM and VICTORIA BECKHAM at the Global Fund party
David’s suit by Burberry, Victoria’s suit and blouse by Victoria Beckham, shoes by Manolo Blahnik
Real power couples suit up together. I actually would have loved to see Posh and David wearing matching ties. (Just me?)
VICTORIA BECKHAM at the Vogue dinner
blouse, sweater vest, and pants by Victoria Beckham, shoes by Manolo Blahnik
This is fresh from Victoria’s Spring 2014 collection, which showed last week in New York. But I hope the rest of the collection is less awkward and ill-fitting than these pieces, which feel sort of bulky and badly proportioned to me.
CATE BLANCHETT at the Tom Ford show
top and skirt by Tom Ford
Cool and chic and basically the required uniform for a Tom Ford show, though Cate could have had more fun with her footwear. But points to Anna Wintour, because even in the background of someone else’s photo that she doesn’t even know is being taken, she STILL does not have a hair out of place. Because she’s an alien.
SIENNA MILLER at the Global Fund party
dress by Dolce & Gabbana
Didn’t we see everyone in Hollywood wear some incarnation of this floral/lace hybrid Dolce & Gabbana dress, like, a year and a half ago? (A Google image search of “floral lace Dolce & Gabbana red carpet” tells me yes.) It’s not a bad look for Sienna, per se, but I hate the idea of pairing it with a leopard print clutch. And that hair is unforgivable.
SIENNA MILLER at the Burberry show
jacket and skirt by Burberry
I think Sienna is one of few people who can pull off that emerald green fur bolero jacket, because just typing those words made me realize how insane they sound. And I dig the slightly off proportions of the high-waisted, almost tea-length skirt. I just think the purse and shoes are so specifically spring/summer that they look very out of place with this decidedly fall/winter outfit.
COCO ROCHA at the Longchamp party
dress, purse, and shoes by Longchamp
A very cute dress in an incredibly great color. In fact, it’s an outfit I could see a lot of ladies rocking, on and off the red carpet. But that’s sort of my problem with it – if I were me, I’d wear this look. But if I were Coco Rocha, and I could wear the most ridiculous, fashion-forward, crazy-ass shit, why would I stick to small-time looks like this one? (Because the designer sponsoring the party is Longchamp, not Vivienne Westwood. Sadly.)
ZOE SALDANA at the Longchamp party
blouse, shorts, and purse by Longchamp, shoes by Christian Louboutin
The hottest stars made the best out of the relatively dull Longchamp looks available to them for the label’s fashion week party. Here, Zoe Saldana gives us a knowing smirk, saying, “We all know I can do better than this. Just shut up and let me do this favor for the nice people at Longchamp, who are trying to make their actual clothes happen and not just their accessories, even though their accessories are infinitely better.”
ASHLEY MADEKWE at the Longchamp party
top by Paper London, skirt by Temperley London, purse by Longchamp, shoes by Saint Laurent
This seriously just made me fall asleep with my face on my keyboard. (No, actually, that might have been the Ambien I took right before I decided to write this post.) But seriously, Ashley Madekwe, you are new to my radar but I am firmly on your team. She has an interesting beauty and a unique style. This is a decent look, but I don’t want her resting on her laurels and hitting up every red carpet event in a decidedly laissez-faire crop top and skirt. (Oh, I’m sorry, you weren’t looking for a description of London Front Row fashion that included the phrase “decidedly laissez-faire”? Sorry, bitches. This is how the Democracy Diva rolls. Pretention is the new black.)
ANNA KENDRICK at the Temperley London show
top and skirt by Temperley London, purse by Me Char
Simple and pretty, but that’s the problem entirely. Anna Kendrick is cool and weird and hilarious. She’s a theater/acappela nerd, and a movie star, and totally beautiful. Her aesthetic should have surpassed this C-List, good girl style by now, but there’s clearly someone on her team who doesn’t understand Anna’s attitude and beauty well enough to convey it to the world in an interesting way. Fuck it, Anna. Hire me. I know how to dress petite women, and brassy theater chicks, because I am one. Bonus: we could harmonize together during our styling sessions! Just consider it, Anna. I’ll have my people call your people.
NAOMIE HARRIS at the Burberry show
dress by Burberry Prorsum
I think I have a crush on Naomie Harris’s shoulders. Are shoulder-crushes a thing? Because KABLAM, those sexy shoulders and powerful arms look like they could heave lumber with one arm and leave the other free to carry that cute little black clutch. The dress is a little on the simple side, and I’m not sure the length works, but I’m still crushing on Naomie way too hard.
NAOMIE HARRIS at the Harper’s Bazaar party
dress by Peter Pilotto, purse by Charlotte Olympia, shoes by Christian Louboutin
It’s a great silhouette for her sexy superhero arms, but I can’t say I actually like the print on this dress.
LAURA CARMICHAEL at the Global Fund party
dress by Christopher Kane
Lady Edith: always dressing like a bridesmaid, never a bride.
OLIVIA PALERMO at the Burberry show
purse by Fendi, shoes by Sergio Rossi
She looks like a very fussy 70-year-old New York City socialite/theatergoer. Seriously, this ten-sizes-too-big suit is fucking stupid on her. And her love of obscenely tacky accessories only makes things worse.
ALEXA CHUNG at the Burberry show
coat and shoes by Burberry
Love the coat, but pretending this is the kind of coat that can be worn as a dress really does not work for me. No discernible hairstyle and makeup just make things worse, like she literally just threw a coat on over her underwear and headed to the Burberry show. Which is totally possible, and actually kind of badass, it just shouldn’t look like that’s what you’re doing.
ALEXA CHUNG at the Longchamp party
dress by Jonathan Saunders
Shitty hair, ugly sweater, dress made of trash bags. The prevalence Alexa Chung might be my least favorite thing about London Fashio Week.
ALEXA CHUNG at the Vogue dinner
dress by Christopher Kane
The idea is kind of cute, but the execution makes it look as if her dress is eating her alive. And the old lady shoes just make things worse.
ALEXA CHUNG at the House of Holland show
dress by Marios Schwab, purse by Dolce & Gabbana
Stop ruining adorable outfits with the world’s ugliest pair of booties. Ugh, you are the actual WORST.