Happy Monday, dear readers! Celebrate the end of your long day with some well-deserved judgment.
KIERNAN SHIPKA in Los Angeles
top and skirt by MaxMara, purse by Christian Louboutin
Photo: Donato Sardella/Getty
Sally Draper: doing it better than you since 1960, even though she wasn’t born until 1999. LOVE the accessories.
CATE BLANCHETT at the Women in Film Awards
gown by Chloé
Photo: Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic
What would look like curtains on anyone else looks like art on Cate Blanchett, because she is a magical woodland creature. If she were shorter, I’d be strongly considering the possibility that she’s actually one of the Children of the Forest.
KERRY WASHINGTON at the Women in Film Awards
dress by Sportmax, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Photo: Lionel Hahn/Abaca/Startraks
This might be Kerry’s first red carpet appearance since her baby, and she looks positively glorious. I recently saw this splatter-painted print on Orange is the New Black‘s Taylor Schilling; I loved it then, and I love it now. The orange pumps with the rainbow-dotted toes are just the cutest fucking things I’ve ever seen.
EMMY ROSSUM in New York City
dress by Monique Lhuillier
Photo: Monica Schipper/Getty
Love the fit, the texture, the structure – it’s all working for me. A pop of color on her lips would have been the cherry on top of this chic little sundae.
JESSICA BIEL in Paris
dress and shoes by Giambattista Valli, jewelry by Tiffany & Co., purse by Fendi
Photo: Julien Hekimian/Getty
A great dress, if strangely wintery for an all-white, mid-summer look. The Tiffany jewels are delightful, and it’s certainly one of Jessica’s better looks, but girl needs to change up that hair once in awhile.
JENNIFER MORRISON in Monaco
dress by Georges Hobeika, purse by Christian Louboutin
Photo: PLS/Getty
Chic, tasteful, and surprisingly well-put-together, considering Jennifer Morrison is one of my least favorite people on the red carpet.
JENNIFER MORRISON in Monaco
gown by Romona Keveza
Photo: PLS/Getty
The hair and makeup don’t compliment the dress particularly well – neither does the purse, for that matter – but this is one hell of a gown. That pale yellow color is a dream on her.
ROSE BYRNE at the Women in Film Awards
jumpsuit by MaxMara, purse by Rauwolf
Photo: Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic
For once, I actually like this disco-throwback look. But I’d like it more without the optical illusion that makes Rose Byrne appear to have the world’s tallest vulva.
ROSE BYRNE in Los Angeles
dress by MaxMara
Photo: Donato Sardello/Getty
Great dress, sexy hair. Hate the shoes with it. Since the black shoe blends in with the black carpet, she kind of looks like she has talons.
ROSARIO DAWSON in Los Angeles
gown by Osman
Photo: Axelle/Bauer-Griffin
Soft and elegant, if a little underwhelming.
CARRIE UNDERWOOD in New York City
dress by Rubin Singer, shoes by Henri Lepore
Photo: D. Dipasupil/FilmMagic
Carrie Underwood must have hired a new stylist in the last year or so. She seems to have said farewell to the stereotypical country star looks and upped the modernism quite a bit. I love the zig-zag print and the asymmetrical shape, but the earrings and purse are distracting when paired with a dress that already has so much going on.
TAYLOR SCHILLING in Los Angeles
dress by A.L.C., purse by Rebecca Minkoff, shoes by Casadei
Photo: Imeh Akpanudosen/Getty
This dress could have been boring, but Taylor saved it with some fun styling choices. The makeup might be just a bit too heavy, but I kind of like the overall severity of the look.
JESSICA ALBA in New York City
dress by Preen, purse by Corto Moltedo, shoes by Brian Atwood
Photo: Sartorial/Splash News
Since Jessica Alba hasn’t been in a movie in what seems like decades, and all she really does is hit the red carpet, you’d think she could give us a little more than this. A gold purse paired silver shoes can make you look like a slightly blind grandma who thought the metallics looked close enough. And the casual-feeling fabric of the dress looks strange with such dressy accessories.
EVA LONGORIA at the Women in Film Awards
jumpsuit by MaxMara, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Photo: Lionel Hahn/Abaca/Startraks
Well, at least it’s not another Zuhair Murad mermaid gown, but I really think Eva Longoria is one of the top three most boring people on the red carpet.
MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL at the Women in Film Awards
gown by Peter Som
Photo: Frederick M. Brown/Getty
This silhouette makes me want to sit Maggie down with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream and just cry things out for awhile.
JAIME KING in New York City
dress by Jason Wu
Photo: Laura Cavanaugh/Getty
The hair and makeup are actually much better than usual, though I have never thought the platinum hair/brown eyebrows combo works on her. Aside from the color of this dress, which is totally fucking awesome, this is all rather confused. I’m pretty sure she got dressed in the dark.
DAKOTA FANNING in New York City
dress by Kenzo
Photo: Rex
I’m trying to like it, I really am. But those pockets are straight-up fugly, and I don’t even understand what’s happening on the bottom of her shoes.
ALEXA CHUNG in London
suit by Saint Laurent, shoes by Tabitha Simmons
Photo: vogue.co.uk
Those shoes make her feet look like skis. Love the idea of a cranberry velvet suit, but the proportions are a mess.
SANDRA BULLOCK in Los Angeles
gown by Vionnet, purse by Charlotte Olympia
Photo: Kevin Mazur/WireImage
No. That’s not a thing. I don’t even know what is supposed to be happening with that cut-out there, but it is most definitely not a thing.
KAROLINA KURKOVA in New York City
gown by Honor
Photo: Rex
Sorry, Karolina Kurkova, but even you cannot make “nun couture” happen. It’s just not going to happen.
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© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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1. I LOVE Kerry Washington’s shoes.
2. Jennifer Morrison needs to buy a colour. Like, IMMEDIATELY.
3. What the fuck, Rose Byrne.
4. Oh, Maggie. Maggie Maggie Maggie. What even is that thing. On the plus side, no one can spend too long staring at her boobs because the print on the bodice is migraine-inducing.
5. Dakota Fanning looks like she’s embracing a post I saw on Tumblr recently that said “If you make the wings on your eyeliner big enough, you can fly away from your problems”.
6. Karolina Kurkova’s dress looks like the one the dowdy heroine wears to the ball and her sassy gay friend pulls her aside, and is all “OH HONEY NO”, then rips off the sleeves and cuts it off at mid-thigh and suddenly she wins prom queen. Or something. IDEK.
Yes to everything. And that eyeliner quote is amazing. I get sad during summer in DC when it’s too hot to do winged eyeliner because i just sweat it all off my face.