Pour yourself another bloody mary and cure that hangover, dear readers. It’s judging time. 

ZOE SALDANA in London
gown by Valentino

My immediate reactions to this look, in chronological order:

1. THIS DRESS IS BEAUTIFUL.

2. The internet says Zoe Saldana might be pregnant with twins. THOSE TWINS WILL BE BEAUTIFUL.

3. Is the print on this dress actually monkeys? I don’t care. IT’S STILL BEAUTIFUL.

ZOE SALDANA in London
dress by Chloé, shoes by Bionda Castana

All that bagginess on top seems a little strange, but I love the very subtle shift in color in the skirt. And that sheer patterned trim at the bottom is gorgeous. But I probably would have forgotten about this look approximately eleven seconds after viewing this picture, if it hadn’t been for those shoes. A bold and divine choice.

ZOE SALDANA in Los Angeles
blouse and skirt by Louis Vuitton, shoes by Jimmy Choo

This is needlessly weird, overworking, and all-around difficult to look at. The blood of virgins that Zoe must be drinking to keep her looking effortlessly beautiful at all times is definitely working here, though. Despite this outfit’s plethora of serious problems, she’s almost making me like it.

RACHEL MCADAMS in New York City
dress by Zuhair Murad, shoes by Casadei

This was my red carpet prediction for Shailene Woodley, but I am adoring it on Rachel McAdams. She kept the styling simple, which is the only way to go when you’re wearing a print as complex as this one. Fun lipstick, chic shoes, and a couture dress? Regina George really is flawless.

MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL in New York City
dress by Chloé

Just a slightly interesting more shoe would have elevated this look to Best Dressed of the Week status. But I still think this is one of the best looks Maggie Gyllenhaal has ever worn. Her hipster-chic aesthetic looks so much better in fitted, tailored garments than it does in drapey boho gowns. And the hair and makeup have never looked better.

MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL in New York City
dress by Roland Mouret

The neckline is divine and the print is terrific. I’m not totally sold on the length, but it’s a damn chic look nonetheless.

TAYLOR SWIFT in New York City
top and skirt by Alice + Olivia, purse by Tod’s

T.Swift continues her winning streak of street style fabulous with these adorable separates. She’s sort of all the same shade of peach-pink from head to toe, but I like that vibe way more on the street than on the red carpet.

TAYLOR SWIFT in New York City
top and skirt by Alice + Olivia, purse by Dolce & Gabbana

Two pops of color isn’t necessarily better than one, but the outfit is adorable. I am actually angry over how ridiculously long her legs look. It’s just not even fair.

DIANE KRUGER in Los Angeles
dress by Roksanda, shoes by Christian Dior

I love how Diane appears to be staring me down, as if to say, “bitch, don’t even try to say I look anything less than flawless.” And I won’t, because Diane Kruger is my fashion superhero. But while I adore her shoes, I’m not sure I love them with this dress.

DIANE KRUGER in Los Angeles
jumpsuit by Marios Schwab, purse by Charlotte Olympia

Diane, your pants forgot to decide whether or not they are actually pants. You might want to work that shit out before you hit the red carpet.

CATE BLANCHETT in Shanghai
dress by Elie Saab

It’s pretty as can be, but I’ve also seen Cate Blanchett in extremely similar outfits too many times before. So although I worship the ground this woman floats a few inches above (because she is a faerie goddess amongst mere mortals, and that is how faerie goddesses travel), this left me underwhelmed.

MICHELLE DOCKERY in Los Angeles
dress by Victoria Beckham

Why are all my personal style icons leaving me vaguely disappointed this week? Lady Mary looks cute as a button here, but I wish she had turned up the volume just a little bit more.

CHLOË MORETZ at Comic-Con
dress by Christopher Kane, shoes by Stuart Weitzman

Little Ms. Moretz has hopped on the Stuart Weitzman “Nudist” train, joining the billions of celebrities who have rocked that particular sandal so far this summer. I love the blue version she’s sporting, but I’m not sure it was particularly well-paired with a black-and-white dress. But the dress is absolutely terrific on x, as most Christopher Kane outfits are.

SELENA GOMEZ in Saint-Tropez
dress by Christian Dior

It’s a little faux-punk prom-queen, which I kind of thought was an aesthetic that stopped being cool around ten years ago. I actually like the birdcage veil, although whatever the hell is hanging off of it really needs to go. The dress is definitely cute and I could see a shit-ton of teens rocking it, but to be honest, it looks a little cheap to be Dior.

SELENA GOMEZ in Ischia, Italy
blouse and skirt by Blumarine, shoes by Casadei

It’s weird, but I don’t hate it, at least for a beach-adjacent event at an Italian film festival. Indoors, she might have just looked like she forgot to put an actual shirt on.

SELENA GOMEZ in Ischia, Italy
gown by Emanuel Ungaro, shoes by Casadei

Nothing screams “I’m a young girl trying desperately to look older!” quite like a sexy gown that’s eight inches too long. That hemline is a nightmare, the sleeves had to be bunched up to not hang down past her hands, and those pockets are in danger of swallowing this poor girl whole.

LUCY LIU in New York City
dress by Stella McCartney, shoes by Nicholas Kirkwood

I’m usually buying what Lucy Liu is selling, but this dress seems more “weird for the sake of weird” than actually artistic. And I hate those shoes with every fiber of my being.

TAYLOR SCHILLING in New York City
blazer by Wes Gordon, blouse by Theory, shorts by Steven Alan, shoes by Jimmy Choo

I don’t dislike anything she’s wearing, but this whole outfit just makes me want to roll my eyes.

MEGAN FOX at Comic-Con
top and skirt by David Koma, shoes by Jimmy Choo

I’m 100% convinced this is a drag queen impersonator of Megan Fox.

KATIE HOLMES in New York City
dress by Nina Ricci

Even in red carpet photos as a grown-ass adult, Katie Holmes is still doing her patented Joey Potter awkward shrug. I cannot stand it. Also, this dress looks like it got stuck in the limo door and torn in half on the way to this event. It’s a problem.

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© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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