The Week in Celebrity Fashion, Part 2

It’s been a long week. You deserve a nice, judgmental vacation. 

CHLOË MORETZ in New York City
dress by Proenza Schouler, shoes by Casadei

Photo: Ken Katz/Startraks

Teenaged superstars: they grow up so fast. As Chloë Moretz stares old age (read: turning 18) in the face, her style has progressed significantly. This is positively fucking timeless, and the white-ecru color combo is a summer delight. Put this on anyone, at any age, and they’ll look fantastic, as long as they’re heading to a party in the Hamptons.

CHLOË MORETZ in New York City
dress and shoes by Miu Miu

Photo: Dave Allocca/Startraks

This is an absolute delight. The trimmed collar is ever-so-slightly too cartoonish for my tastes, but she is definitely the girl for this dress. And let’s take a moment to appreciate her shoes:

SO. MUCH. FUN. That heel is the cutest.

RIHANNA in New York City
dress by Helmut Lang, purse by Balmain, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: 247PapsTV/Splash News

Let’s just pretend we can’t see the horse’s tail she’s wearing as hair extensions, because everything else about this is fabulous. She was born to wear this fuchsia color, and the matching lipstick is the best. The accessories are a Rihanna-appropriate combination of sexy and badass, and the flower headband thing is all-around hilarious.

dress by Burberry Prorsum, shoes by Bionda Castana

Photo: Bauer-Griffin

Possibly the best thing she’s worn all year. Hippie-chic looks SO much better on her than hipster-chic. I love the blousy tapered sleeves and the print, and her hair is refreshingly non-stupid.

EVA GREEN in Los Angeles
gown by Elie Saab

Photo: Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic

An amazingly gorgeous couture gown, but someone please give this woman a haircut and a dye job. This long black hair with auburn roots thing is REALLY not working. Also, a couture evening gown at a movie premiere? It’s not unheard of, but it is a bit excessive. Save this dress for an awards show, add some diamond earrings, and hire a hair stylist, and she’d look flawless.

dress by Marc Jacobs, purse by Porsche, shoes by Aquazzura

Photo: Gary Gershoff/WireImage

An incredibly chic and delightful little dress that you definitely have to be 6’2″ like Maria Sharapova to pull off. This would literally be a gown on me. Sigh. Anyway, the white strappy sandals are a great, summery addition to an already light and airy look. But the purse is not my favorite, and also, why is Porsche designing purses?

dress by J. Mendel, shoes by Rupert Sanderson

Photo: Kevin Mazur/Getty

It’s fun and vaguely tennis-y, though the lines in the bodice are kind of odd. But this strawberry-red is definitely her color.

KATE MARA in Los Angeles
jacket by Givenchy, pants by Paige, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic

COOL AS FUCK. I want to be friends with the lady wearing this jacket, and not just so I can steal it. Well, mostly so I can steal it.

dress by Peekaboo Vintage, shoes by Manolo Blahnik

Photo: Chris Jackson/Getty

How is this woman 28 years old? Every time I look at her, I’m like, aw, look at this darling little teen. Anyway, it’s a sweet enough dress, though I’m not sure I can really get behind those shoulders. They’re a little too alien-chic for a otherwise businesslike outfit.

JAMIE CHUNG in Los Angeles
gown by Pamella, Pamella Roland

Photo: Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic

A truly magnificent gown… that she should have saved for autumn, and that needed to be hemmed by about two feet.

TAYLOR SWIFT in New York City
dress by CeCe by Cynthia Steffe, purse by Prada

Photo: Freddie Baez/Startraks

Taylor Swift: still pretending that this is just what she happens to look like when she leaves the house, and still pretending that she actually has anything inside that purse. Whatever. It’s still adorable.

TAYLOR SWIFT in New York City
dress by Equipment

Photo: Roger Wong/INF

Warning: when you leave the house in a loose flannel shirt-dress, you may look like you’re in the middle of a walk of shame in Seattle. Belt that shit, tailor it, and don’t wear men’s shoes with it, and you might actually look like you own the clothes you’re wearing.

dress by Isabel Marant

Photo: BKNY/Splash News

Marigold is hot right now, and so are walk-of-shamey shirt-dresses, I guess. I hate this half-open tunic, and black ankle boots in the summer make me upset, but I can’t pretend she’s not wearing the shit out of this.

IGGY AZALEA in Los Angeles
dress by Givenchy, purse by Saint Laurent

Photo: FameFlynet

Killer dress; fantastic purse; WORST SHOES EVER. They make her look like she has pointy demon feet.

JAIME KING in Los Angeles
gown by Versace, shoes by Monique Lhuillier

Photo: Andreas Branch/Patrick McMullan/SIPA

This feels tacky and dated, but that’s more Versace’s fault than anyone else’s. Also, her toes have broken free from those stupid shoes and are making a run for it, so everyone beware of the stray toes that may appear on this red carpet.

dress by Alice + Olivia, purse by Kotur, shoes by Kurt Geiger

Photo: Paul Archuleta/FilmMagic

It’s not 2004. There is no reason to wear a choker, ever.

JESSICA ALBA in Los Angeles
dress by Zac Posen, purse by Lee Savage, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

Photo: Albert L. Ortega/Getty

Bridesmaid bullshit. And the shoes are tackier than the entire Kardashian clan combined.

JULIA GARNER in Los Angeles
top, shorts, and shoes by Balenciaga

Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty

Julia, darling. While your top and shorts are kind of adorable, and certainly a good effort for a red carpet newcomer, someone clearly needs to take you under their big gay wing. Because these shoes are about as wrong for this outfit as humanly possible. And I refuse to live in a world where apocalyptic black-rooted platinum perms are back in style. There is enough horror and sadness in our world today without resurrecting this hairstyle.

dress by Ermanno Scervino

Photo: Steve Granitz/WireImage

This is so embarrassingly terrible that I can’t even bear to look at it. Someone needs to be fired for this red-light district disaster.

RITA ORA in New York City
top and skirt by DKNY

Photo: Jamie McCarthy/Getty

Take your pick, dear readers – what’s the worst thing about this look? The wig, which was cut with a pair of leftie scissors by a right-handed drunk kindergartener? The outfit, which is a tin foil nightmare? Or the platform sneakers – that’s right, I said PLATFORM SNEAKERS. I love the Spice Girls as much as any girl who was ten years old during the height of their fame, but I categorically refuse to permit platform sneakers to return to the limelight.

© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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2 responses to The Week in Celebrity Fashion, Part 2

  1. Lougarry

    I submit that that dress Jessica Alba is wearing instantly disqualifies Zac Posen from trashing even the most repulsive creations on this week’s Project Runway.

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