Gaga in a suit! The Middleton sisters looking Britlicious! Every starlet EVER at Paris Fashion Week!
Let’s get caught up, dear readers.
The red carpets were on fire this week, from movie premieres to fashion industry events. Get on your bitch pants and…
Gossip Girl star, Chanel muse, and all-around It Girl Blake Lively covered Glamour, interviewed by . . . her good friend, Florence Welch. (Yeah. It was weird.)
The Rule of Coco
Now, before we begin, let us remember that this is Leighton on the set of Gossip Girl in Paris. This means a) the rules are different, because Paris fashion is a different world, and b) we must remember that this is Blair Waldorf, not Leighton Meester. With that in mind, let’s talk fashion.
For a filthy rich Upper East Side girl traipsing around Paris, this outfit is basically perfect, if completely over-the-top. But what NYC WASP princess wouldn’t go over-the-top in the fashion capital of the world? It’s all flawless, and every piece can be worn separately with a thousand different things (not that versatility matters much to someone as rich as Ms. Waldorf, but it matters to me). But let us not forget the immortal words of the legendary Coco Chanel:
Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and remove one accessory.
Simple words, but they carry an incredible weight, because so many fabulous women do have a strong tendency to over-accessorize, like Miss Waldorf here. The hat is precious and perfect for Paris; I can only see the side of the handbag but I already worship it; I don’t know if that belt/scarf is part of the skirt, but the print is lovely; those bracelets are completely badass and bring a much-needed element of seriousness to an otherwise overwhelmingly girly outfit; even that little box of snacks is its own accessory. But listen to Coco, Gossip Girl costumers. Remember and heed her immortal words, because just dropping even one accessory would tone this look down from overwhelming to perfectly chic.
Beware of the Future
I think if Jackie O were recreated in The Jetsons, this is what she would wear. And while the concept of Jackie O + Jetsons is pretty awesome to consider, it is clear that no one is actually meant to wear the result. Kylie has a history of picking some out-there designs, but this? There is nothing flattering or pretty about this at all. Heavy-handed, rudimentary, and looks like it was made by a first year design student – God, if this is what the future of fashion looks like, let me live a short but fabulous life.
The Best and Worst of Swimwear 2011
As a personal preference, I am pro-vintage style bathing suits all the way. You know, pin-up girl style, bandeau tops with high-waisted bottoms. They’re so much more flattering than the barely-there bikinis of today. But I love this swimsuit from Miami Swim Fashion Week because it’s got all the mot flattering elements and the general feel of the swimsuits of yesteryear, but with a totally modern sensibility. Gone are the polka dots and thick straps; here we have basic black in a strapless cut that feels incredibly fresh and new. I hate the bottle-blonde hair and three-seasons-ago sunglasses, not to mention the tanlines – hello, your JOB is to be a swimsuit model! How can you have tan lines?! – but this swimsuit is simply fabulous.
Same designer, same collection, but a world of difference. While the first swimsuit feels both vintage and modern, flattering and chic, this swimsuit has none of those qualities. I literally cannot imagine a bathing suit less flattering than this – this model has 0% body fat, and even she looks fucking insane. Can you imagine this on a normal-shaped woman? It flattens out your boobs and might as well have a giant arrow pointing to your tummy saying, “OH HAYYYYY!” Which, for the record, is not what most women look for in a swimsuit.
Most Surprising Hipster: Betty Draper
Wow. For someone who plays the perfect early 1960s housewife to a tee on Mad Men, this is one surprisingly hipster-fabulous ensemble. Not that it’s so daring or risky, but I’m used to seeing our very own Betty Draper looking more like this:
Just being able to see the shape of January’s legs is a bit shocking, isn’t it? It’s off-putting to see her look so modern, with her super-skinny hipster jeans, black pointy flats, and fabulously sexy black lace/mesh top, not to mention the ever-present big black handbag, the staple of the modern woman’s wardrobe. Throw on the uber-trendy Ray Bans and the iPod and she’s as clearly 2010 as Betty Draper is 1960. Just goes to show you that a woman that beautiful can do a perfect representation of any era.
And can we just talk about January’s hair? That’s possibly the greatest hair color the world has ever seen. With her flawless skin and perfect pink lips, it’s just unfair that one person should have so many amazing features. Sigh.
Bad Dress, Worse Hair: The Joey Potter Story
I just don’t know what stylist approved this before Katie stepped out of the house. Unless it’s your very first day of kindergarten, those shoes, that dress, and those god-awful ringlet curls are never appropriate. You’re at the premiere of your own movie, for God’s sake. At least pretend that you give a shit. This is just pure laziness, and the Democracy Diva does not take well to laziness on the red carpet. Make the effort, or pay someone to make the effort for you, or stay the fuck out of the spotlight.
Business Chic Meets Red Carpet
Here’s Amanda Crew at the premiere of her new film Charlie St. Cloud, co-starring Zac Efron. I never could have told you her name or recognized her face before, but kudos to Ms. Crew, because I’ll certainly remember her from now on.
This is the perfect combination of day wear and evening wear. The business chic blouse is deliciously crisp and super-sexy; that glitzy, glamorous skirt makes the whole look dressier, and the accessories are minimalist and beautiful. Also, those legs are astoundingly long. Seriously, she looks like an Amazon woman. I can’t even handle it.
Repeat Offense: Trash Bags as Cocktail Dresses
Do you know what the worst part of this dress is? Besides the fact that Lanvin is selling trash bags as cocktail dresses, presumably for thousands of dollars? The worst part isthat this is the SECOND time that I have to express my hatred for this dress, because somehow, against all reason, ANOTHER CELEBRITY ALREADY WORE THIS. Yes, I blogged about this dress when J.Lo wore it a few months back. I hated it then, and I hate it even more now.
Sadly, this is not even the worst thing Rihanna wore this week… but you’ll have to keep reading for that.
Editorial of the Week: Marion Cotillard
The cardigan is Philosophy di Alberta Ferretti, the bustier is Nina Ricci, the woman is Marion Cotillard, and the photo shoot is fabulous. I don’t have anything to say besides the fact that I now officially have a huge lesbian crush on Mademoiselle Cotillard. That stomach, those legs… and I’m stealing that bustier for Rocky Horror.
Repeat Offender: Rihanna
Well, it’s official. It’s time for Rihanna to go to rehab.
Fashion Icon of the Week
Easily the greatest on-the-street summer wear I’ve ever seen. The incredible bloggers over at The Sartorialist snapped this photo of Vogue Japan Editor-at-Large Anna Della Russo in Milan. The goofy sunglasses, the casual shoes, the simple clutch, that astounding, sun-kissed, just-out-of-bed hair – and that perfect dress that just screams “summer in Southern Europe.” And the black bra and panties – or perhaps bathing suit – are so sexy, but the dress covers enough that this doesn’t seem slutty. It’s just the perfect youthful summer dress.
But here’s the best part – this woman is 48 years old. (Yes, for real! I couldn’t believe it either.) Just another reminder that if you have fun with your wardrobe, smile constantly, and walk with an attitude, you will be young forever.
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This week had a little too much fashion for just one blog post, so I’ve divided your weekly fashion recap into two parts: runway and red carpet. Here’s the runway edition, as the Resort 2011 collections have exploded this week.
Best Accessory: Vamped-Up Stockings
The gams are getting glamorous on the runway this week! Though the effect feels much more fall than spring, many designers chose vamped-up stockings and ornate tights as accessories. I have always been a fan of the embellished stocking – somehow it always makes an outfit more interesting and way sexier.
Worst Accessory: The Tube Belt
I tend to support eccentric accessories, particularly those that bring an element of grittiness into an otherwise tailored, feminine outfit (or vice versa). But if the fashionistas start wearing these ugly, unflattering belts that look like they belong at a gas pump, I’m going to have to scream. I beg you, ladies. No matter how badly you need a belt, rubber tubing is not the answer.
The Saddest Girl on the Runway
There is a such thing as “so bad it’s good.” Examples include the earlier seasons of Degrassi: The Next Generation, “Party in the USA” by Miley Cyrus, and the entire High School Musical franchise. Unfortunately, Cynthia Rowley’s Resort 2011 collection is not “so bad it’s good.” Because it’s downright fugly. From the white shoes to the shapeless “dress” to the patched, frayed fabric – I understand the point is to make a statement using ugliness, but the only statement this makes is “I’m a little homeless boy in my mommy’s shoes”
The Legend of Oscar
As per usual, I had nearly every look in Oscar de la Renta’s Resort 2011 collection tagged as one of my favorites this week, but I managed to narrow it down to two looks that explain the genius of Mr. de la Renta.
The above look is what designers like Leanne from Project Runway constantly attempt but never quite achieve. She, like Oscar, made full skirts of fabric pieces to make it look like waves, but she limited herself with her desire to stay within a specific structure and color scheme. This blood-red beauty catches like feathers in the wind, moves like waves, possibly could have been made by Elmo’s taxidermist, and is romantic and sweet all at the same time. The rose-looking twist at the center is exquisite.
And this kind of gown is what Christopher from Project Runway always tried, to no avail. But to create something like this is so much more than making a dress. It truly stands as a piece of art, carefully and thoughtfully draped, sewn, and constructed. I personally love the different polka-dot prints, the black sash at her waist, and the ornate bodice.
The Ill-Fitting Crotch Award
These pants were apparently draped intentionally to give the appearance of a giant cameltoe.
The Democracy Diva would like to take this opportunity to remind all designers, not just Givenchy and Marc, that vaginas do not need a square foot of breathing room.
This My So Called Life meets Coco Chanel hybrid has all the modernity of the new millennium with the grittiness of the 90s. The tweed dress is lovely (and such an unusual shape) and those peep-toe combat boots are destined to be in my closet. But the black long-sleeved lace undershirt really amps up the alternative rock sensibility, and the contrast between the tailored and the distressed is incredibly beautiful.
Diva’s Pet Peeve
Now, I KNOW we’ve talked about sweatpants on the runway before. I don’t care if it’s the resort collection – fabulous casual vacation lounge clothing and bright yellow elastic waistband sweatpants are not the same. And this poor soul isn’t helped by that boxy T-shirt, the horrible choker, and the mismatched purse.
Best Bollywood Influence
I love the way Naeem Khan’s entire collection felt like it lay somewhere in between Hollywood and Bollywood. Gowns like this one – perfect red carpet gowns with just whispers of sari influences – simultaneously have old Hollywood glamour and a completely modern, global sensibility.
Costumes by Marc Jacobs
Doesn’t this have Emma Pillsbury from Glee written all over it? If McKinley High has a prom or Emma and Will have an engagement party, I think our neurotic little guidance counselor should wear this chic, flowery ensemble from Marc Jacobs.
If this Diva were Katy Perry’s stylist, this is what I’d put her in for a casual day or hot summer night. This is what Katy should be wearing – zany, revealing costumes that hearken back to the 1940s pinup girls. She should go less wild and more conceptual, and her wardrobe would be intriguing instead of just weird.
The Dragtastic Dress
Since the model above does not appear to be a tennis pro by day / drag queen by night who is addicted to ecstasy, I can’t imagine where she plans on wearing this dress.
My Favorite Mini-Dresses
A girly print with a fascinating belt and truly fabulous straps. And that matching bag? To die for.
I call this look “Little Red Riding Hood Goes Bad.” Youthful, sexy, and fresh.
Because, let’s be honest, it’s not summer until you whip out your wildest neon dress.
More fashion to come! Check back here soon for the Tonys red carpet and more!