The red carpets were on fire this week, from movie premieres to fashion industry events. Get on your bitch pants and…
EMMA STONE in a Giambattista Valli dress and Christian Louboutin shoes
First out of the gates is the eternally fantastic Emma Stone. We all know it takes a special kind of ginger to wear red OR pink, and an even fiercer one to wear both. Yes, the pumps are so nude, they’re practically invisible, but that’s actually a good thing with this bold, bright dress. With this much dress, who wants a shoe you can even see? It’ll just distract. I love these colors on her porcelain skin, and I hope she keeps this hair color forever.
RYAN GOSLING in Gucci
Let’s give a little love to Beardy Gosling, who dared to rock a shiny, patterned Gucci suit and didn’t look totally gay doing it. Just like, a little bicurious.
Between Hailee Steinfeld, Dakota Fanning, and now Chloe Moretz, there are way too many 13 to 14-year-olds with wardrobes I’d die to have. It’s getting embarrassing.
MARISA TOMEI in a Vivienne Westwood dress and Sergio Rossi shoes
A tad on the dull side, due to the accessories, but the neckline is too, too beautiful.
MILA KUNIS in a Versace dress and Jimmy Choo shoes
ZOE SALDANA in a Balmain suit and Brian Atwood shoes
What a fierce summer suit. She looks chic and laid-back and utterly fabulous, especially with her green studded pumps.
CAMILLA BELLE in a Dolce & Gabbana dress and Miu Miu shoes
The shoes make the outfit, but I’m not entirely sure I like them. I can’t tell if they’re fantastic or uber-tacky.
LAUREN CONRAD in Rebecca Minkoff
Great silhouette for her, even if it is boring as the day is long.
Taylor, you’re too old to wear those shoes. It’s embarrassing how tweened-out she still looks as she ages whilst clinging desperately to her young fans, determined not to go the Miley Road. The excessive shimmery powder all over her face makes her look like a Disney princess, but in the cartoon way, not in the awesome way. And honey, get a hair cut. And grow up.
Probably the dullest thing I’ve seen Gaga wear. Is she a half-puppet Catholic schoolgirl?
MILA KUNIS in a dress and shoes by Lanvin
Mila, stop wasting your hot body on boring clothes. Do the world a favor and throw on something interesting for once.
Oof. A bandage dress is bad enough [when it’s worn by Courtney Love], but when it’s ill-fitting and in various shades of butt-ugly, it’s a head-to-toe hot disaster.
HILLARY DUFF in an Isabel Marant jacket and Christian Louboutin shoes
Cute jacket, but if it weren’t for the Ray Bans, she’d look like a middle-aged wealthy housewife in this get-up.
A napkin is not a dress. I repeat: A NAPKIN IS NOT A DRESS.
JENNIFER ANISTON in a Celine dress and Gucci shoes
Does she really expect people to believe her legs are actually that tan? Come on. I call bullshit. And, duh, she looks boring as ever.
VANESSA HUDGENS in a Farah Khan dress and Giuseppe Zanotti shoes
Impressive! And by impressive, I mean I’m impressed that one woman can manage to have mental-patient hair, an astonishingly ugly and ill-fitting tunic, and tacky mismatched accessories all at the same time. She must be exhausted from her own fugliness.
She wore this a few days ago, but I’m just imagining Gaga running around in this get-up in the weather we had today. I love Gaga, but her antics sometimes make me want to see her wrapped in plastic and leather when the heat index is a hundred and fifteen degrees.
Whoever works for Alicia Keys and did not have the balls to tell her the truth about how she looks in this dress, you should be ashamed of yourself. This hot disaster is on YOU.
ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELEY in a Chloé gown and Jimmy Choo shoes
No one, not even a model/Megan Fox replacement like Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, could possibly look good in this dress. Rosie must be the least self-aware person on earth if she looked into the mirror and could not see that her breasts hang down to her bellybutton in this gown.
Don’t forget to check back on Sunday night for Part 2 of your weekly fashion recap!