The Week in Celebrity Fashion, Part III

At last, the final portion of your weekly fashion recap.

LADY GAGA

Lady Gaga

If I were as famous as Gaga [and let’s face it – I am], I’d be afraid of wearing shoes that tall. What if somebody tries to kidnap you and you have to make a quick getaway? I mean, I know she’s probably got security guards, but still. There’s no way she can take a step in those shoes without someone holding her on either side. And that just doesn’t seem safe to me.

LEA MICHELE

Lea Michele in Versace

Cute. I’d like it more if it didn’t look like an optical illusion. I feel like I’m supposed to see a duck one minute and an old lady the next.

LEIGHTON MEESTER

Leighton Meester in a Vera Wang skirt and Brian Atwood pumps

Another case of a young woman dressed like an old lady for no apparent reason. The print on that skirt is just awful. And did her hair and makeup artists die in a fire, or something? What other excuse could there be for this look?

Leighton Meester

Not a great dress – everyone’s worn a way nicer version of it. The color’s a little weird – a slightly lighter or slightly darker brown might be gorgeous, but this isn’t – and the shoes and purse don’t match at all.

LIV TYLER

Liv Tyler

I love this. I’ll take two.

MARY-KATE AND ASHLEY OLSEN

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen

Confession: After all these years, I STILL don’t know which one is Mary-Kate and which one is Ashley. But I hate Lefty’s beige scarf. I’m digging Righty’s crazy saffron pants, which would look way better on longer legs, but she’s pulling them off amazingly well for such a tiny woman.

MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG

Michelle Trachtenberg

She’s been wearing a lot of seriously dramatic gowns lately. I’m all about rocking the porcelain skin, but with black nails and a black-and-white dress, and those crazy purple-red lips, it might be a little much.

MILA KUNIS

Mila Kunis in Versace

It’s not a great dress, but she looks great in it. Also, I’m seeing a lot of those Wonder Woman gold cuff bracelets on the red carpet lately. What a random trend.

MIRANDA COSGROVE

Miranda Cosgrove

Cute, but you just know she stole this right out of Hailee Steinfeld’s closet.

MIRANDA KERR

Miranda Kerr

Simple but sexy as hell, the way a model should dress.

NICOLE RICHIE

Nicole Richie

I hate almost everything she wears, but this dress is actually gorgeous on her. I love the giant cocktail ring, and don’t think I didn’t notice that gold cuff bracelet again!

NINA DOBREV

Nina Dobrev in Dolce & Gabbana

Meet Nina Dobrev. She was on Degrassi, but after Drake left, so it wasn’t cool anymore. I’m pretty sure she’s on Vampire Diaries, but I tend to get her confused with Lucy Hale, who I think is from Pretty Little Liars and played Robin Scherbatsky’s little sister in an episode of How I Met Your Mother. But somewhere in there is an accurate description of her WB-centric career. Anyway, whoever is styling her deserves some applause. The dress doesn’t fit her perfectly, and it’s way too bridal, but it’s one of those “you’re going to know me because I’m going to dress well” dresses. It’s a dress that says, “I don’t need a career, I’ll just get invited to fashion shows. Like Alexa Chung.”

OLIVIA WILDE

Olivia Wilde in an A.L.C. gown, Christian Louboutin shoes and a Judith Leiber clutch

Snooze. There’s minimalist, and there’s boring.

PARIS HILTON

Paris Hilton in Tony Ward

If the gold glittery part stopped at the bust and didn’t dip into that weird widow’s peak in the middle, I’d like this dress a lot more. In a different color.

PAULA ABDUL

Paula Abdul

The fact that she can stand up on all those painkillers, let alone squeeze herself into a ball gown, is pretty astounding.

PIPPA MIDDLETON

Pippa Middleton in Temperley London

KILLING. IT. Pippa hit the reception for her big sister’s royal wedding in this gorgeous emerald green gown, and the guy behind her is totally checking out her ass. Not that I blame him.

RASHIDA JONES

Rashida Jones in Romona Keveza

She usually looks so sloppy on the red carpet that this is a huge upgrade. The gown has nothing going on, and the shoes don’t go, and the earrings are borderline ridiculous, but at least she looks sort of put together, which is more than I can say for her last dozen red carpet appearances.

REESE WITHERSPOON

Reese Witherspoon in Giambattista Valli

Cute. Signature Reese.

Reese Witherspoon in Jimmy Choo heels

Not my favorite. It’s a little business-y for a movie premiere.

Reese Witherspoon

GORGEOUS coat.

Reese Witherspoon in a Stella McCartney dress and Christian Louboutin shoes

Thumbs down. I hate those “oops! my straps fell down!” straps, and the dress isn’t flattering or fit well around her tummy. And there’s no reason not to wear any jewelry with such a simple dress.

Reese Witherspoon in Zac Posen

I hate pointy strapless dresses almost as much as I hate intentionally droopy straps, but I like this color. Again, she’s choosing a silhouette that isn’t very flattering, making her look wider than she really is, but she’s workin’ it. And I love the hair.

RIHANNA

Rihanna in Dsqaured

I don’t believe in wearing a dress with two skirts, but it’s Rihanna. When I can’t see her nipples, it’s a victory.

Rihanna in Zuhair Murad

It’s a nice dress from the waist up, but starting at that black sash and heading south, it’s a big old mess. (Also: Note the gold cuff bracelet!)

ROSARIO DAWSON

Rosario Dawson

Oy. This doesn’t really fit her at all. It looks like someone threw a red sheet around her and stapled it. It’s doing nothing for her figure, and the color clashes horribly with the red carpet.

SARAH JESSICA PARKER

Sarah Jessica Parker in a Lanvin dress and Chanel coat

I love the coat, and I’m sorry to say this about something Lanvin made, but that dress is straight-up Jersey shore.

SCARLETT JOHANSSON

Scarlett Johansson in Elie Saab

I don’t know what it is I don’t like. It’s a lovely dress in a great color, but something isn’t working. Maybe it’s her newly red hair, which I’m not sure suits her, or maybe it’s that stupid fucking tattoo on her arm. That thing KILLS me.

ZOE SALDANA

Zoe Saldana in Ferragamo

Funky dress, but I loathe her “look how fierce I look” pose.

© Democracy Diva, 2011.

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