At last, the final portion of your weekly fashion recap.
If I were as famous as Gaga [and let’s face it – I am], I’d be afraid of wearing shoes that tall. What if somebody tries to kidnap you and you have to make a quick getaway? I mean, I know she’s probably got security guards, but still. There’s no way she can take a step in those shoes without someone holding her on either side. And that just doesn’t seem safe to me.
Cute. I’d like it more if it didn’t look like an optical illusion. I feel like I’m supposed to see a duck one minute and an old lady the next.
Another case of a young woman dressed like an old lady for no apparent reason. The print on that skirt is just awful. And did her hair and makeup artists die in a fire, or something? What other excuse could there be for this look?
Not a great dress – everyone’s worn a way nicer version of it. The color’s a little weird – a slightly lighter or slightly darker brown might be gorgeous, but this isn’t – and the shoes and purse don’t match at all.
I love this. I’ll take two.
MARY-KATE AND ASHLEY OLSEN
Confession: After all these years, I STILL don’t know which one is Mary-Kate and which one is Ashley. But I hate Lefty’s beige scarf. I’m digging Righty’s crazy saffron pants, which would look way better on longer legs, but she’s pulling them off amazingly well for such a tiny woman.
She’s been wearing a lot of seriously dramatic gowns lately. I’m all about rocking the porcelain skin, but with black nails and a black-and-white dress, and those crazy purple-red lips, it might be a little much.
It’s not a great dress, but she looks great in it. Also, I’m seeing a lot of those Wonder Woman gold cuff bracelets on the red carpet lately. What a random trend.
Cute, but you just know she stole this right out of Hailee Steinfeld’s closet.
Simple but sexy as hell, the way a model should dress.
I hate almost everything she wears, but this dress is actually gorgeous on her. I love the giant cocktail ring, and don’t think I didn’t notice that gold cuff bracelet again!
Meet Nina Dobrev. She was on Degrassi, but after Drake left, so it wasn’t cool anymore. I’m pretty sure she’s on Vampire Diaries, but I tend to get her confused with Lucy Hale, who I think is from Pretty Little Liars and played Robin Scherbatsky’s little sister in an episode of How I Met Your Mother. But somewhere in there is an accurate description of her WB-centric career. Anyway, whoever is styling her deserves some applause. The dress doesn’t fit her perfectly, and it’s way too bridal, but it’s one of those “you’re going to know me because I’m going to dress well” dresses. It’s a dress that says, “I don’t need a career, I’ll just get invited to fashion shows. Like Alexa Chung.”
Snooze. There’s minimalist, and there’s boring.
If the gold glittery part stopped at the bust and didn’t dip into that weird widow’s peak in the middle, I’d like this dress a lot more. In a different color.
The fact that she can stand up on all those painkillers, let alone squeeze herself into a ball gown, is pretty astounding.
KILLING. IT. Pippa hit the reception for her big sister’s royal wedding in this gorgeous emerald green gown, and the guy behind her is totally checking out her ass. Not that I blame him.
She usually looks so sloppy on the red carpet that this is a huge upgrade. The gown has nothing going on, and the shoes don’t go, and the earrings are borderline ridiculous, but at least she looks sort of put together, which is more than I can say for her last dozen red carpet appearances.
Cute. Signature Reese.
Not my favorite. It’s a little business-y for a movie premiere.
Thumbs down. I hate those “oops! my straps fell down!” straps, and the dress isn’t flattering or fit well around her tummy. And there’s no reason not to wear any jewelry with such a simple dress.
I hate pointy strapless dresses almost as much as I hate intentionally droopy straps, but I like this color. Again, she’s choosing a silhouette that isn’t very flattering, making her look wider than she really is, but she’s workin’ it. And I love the hair.
I don’t believe in wearing a dress with two skirts, but it’s Rihanna. When I can’t see her nipples, it’s a victory.
It’s a nice dress from the waist up, but starting at that black sash and heading south, it’s a big old mess. (Also: Note the gold cuff bracelet!)
Oy. This doesn’t really fit her at all. It looks like someone threw a red sheet around her and stapled it. It’s doing nothing for her figure, and the color clashes horribly with the red carpet.
SARAH JESSICA PARKER
I love the coat, and I’m sorry to say this about something Lanvin made, but that dress is straight-up Jersey shore.
I don’t know what it is I don’t like. It’s a lovely dress in a great color, but something isn’t working. Maybe it’s her newly red hair, which I’m not sure suits her, or maybe it’s that stupid fucking tattoo on her arm. That thing KILLS me.
Funky dress, but I loathe her “look how fierce I look” pose.
© Democracy Diva, 2011.
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