It’s cold, you’re hungover and bleary-eyed, and your Amy Winehouse arm tattoos haven’t quite faded yet. [Just me?]
KEIRA KNIGHTLEY at the London premiere of A Dangerous Method // dress by Roksanda Ilincic
Kudos, Keira, because you are BRINGING it. All hail this fabulous bitch. Just the right amount of skin, fits her like a dream, and the low-key styling only emphasizes the dress. Perfection.
OLIVIA WILDE at a gala in Los Angeles // dress by J. Mendel, shoes by Brian Atwood
This is what the Fug Girls call a “scrolldown fug.” Most of the picture is fabulous, until you get to the shoes and throw up all over yourself. It’s such a disservice to a beautiful, otherwise perfectly-styled gown. I love the purposely unfinished edges, the color-blocking, the slit, the hair, the earrings – but those Prostitute Barbie shoes are killing me.
ELIZABETH OLSEN at the London premiere of Martha Marcy May Marlene // gown by Chanel, shoes by Christian Louboutin
I definitely loved this when I first saw it, but I sort of think she looks like an extraordinarily fussy old lady, or that little girl from The Secret Garden before she stopped being a spoiled little bitch.
DITA VON TEESE at a party in Singapore
For Dita, it’s not great. The cut and fit of the bust is a little weird, and it’s so matchy-matchy that she looks like a wax figure. It’s just a little too expected – I like my Dita to push the envelope a little more.
HAILEE STEINFELD at a Variety event in Hollywood // jacket and shoes by Chanel, blouse by Jil Sander, shorts by J Brand
If this means that Hailee Steinfeld will be starring in a Blossom remake, I’m totally on board.
CHLOE MORETZ at a Variety event in Hollywood // top and skirt by Kenzo
No black toenail polish with sandals, please! Aside from the shoes, I love this outfit. And I dig her fresh-faced makeup and relaxed but fabulous hair.
ALEXIS BLEDEL at a gala in Los Angeles // dress by Missoni
If this dress fit her, she’d look amazing, but she kind of looks like she’s wearing her grandmother’s blanket. But her eyes pop, which is kind of the only thing that matters.
SALMA HAYEK at the Los Angeles premiere of Puss in Boots // dress by Bottega Veneta, purse by Alexander McQueen
SALMA HAYEK at the New York premiere of Puss in Boots // dress by Alexander McQueen
Super-cute, but she could have gone a little more daring with the styling.
MARION COTILLARD at the Paris premiere of Contagion // dress and shoes by Christian Dior
Those are some trannylicious shoes, but I can’t say I don’t love them. They sort of look absurd with her modest dress, though.
MADONNA at the London premiere of W.E. // dress by L’Wren Scott
I know it’s a photograph, but it just feels like her face isn’t capable of moving from that expression.
FREIDA PINTO at the London premiere of Trishna // jumpsuit by Ralph Lauren
A Divalicious Decree: I hereby declare black glittery jumpsuits to be OVER. Wear them, and feel my wrath.
FREIDA PINTO at a Trishna photocall in London // dress by Louis Vuitton, shoes by Manolo Blahnik
Dislike the color and the fit. It looks wrinkled and sad.
FREIDA PINTO at a Black Gold photocall in Qatar // dress by Salvatore Ferragamo
Understated but fabulous. Dress and shoes are beautiful but feel effortless.
ZOE SALDANA at an event in Los Angeles // dress by Antonio Berardi, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti
I’d love it in a different color. The shape and mix of textures is really fab, though it kind of forces your eye to the vagina area. But that nude is a snooze and a half.
ZOE SALDANA at an event in Los Angeles // dress by Reed Krakoff
This looks like something so ugly, it could have won Project Runway! Amirite? #toosoon?
ASHLEY GREENE at the Paris premiere of Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Part 2 // dress and shoes by Givenchy
Nope. That necklace is absolutely insane, and the ruffles on this dress distort your proportions in a really unflattering way.
JESSICA ALBA at a gala in New York City // dress and purse by Ralph Lauren
Cute, but I don’t love the matching purse.
KIM KARDASHIAN in Las Vegas
I was so worried I’d never be able to kind of see Kim Kardashian’s nipples and pubes through her clothes. So thank you, Kim, for giving us this gift.
CAMILLA BELLE at a gala in New York City // gown by Ralph Lauren
Hate the makeup, would love the dress if it fit her a little better.
LEA MICHELE at a party in Connecticut // ensemble by Luca Luca, shoes by Jimmy Choo
No. Everything about this is terrible. You can’t do shoulder cut-outs and the world’s largest boob eyelet. The shoes are hideous, the proportions are terrible – but can you expect anything less for a Mohegan Sun party in Connecticut?