March Fabness 2013, Round 2: McQueen and Givenchy Brackets


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FAN BINGBING vs. LILY COLLINS
Fan and Lily's dresses and Fan's purse by Louis Vuitton

Fan and Lily’s dresses and Fan’s purse by Louis Vuitton

Fan: Looks like our March Fabness battle begins in Paris, Lily. Me at the Louis Vuitton show, you at the after-party – we’re quite a stylish pair.

Lily: I wholeheartedly agree, Fan. Everyone knows only the most glamorous stars get to hit up Paris Fashion Week.

Fan's jacket by Balmain, gown by Tadashi Shoji; Lily's dress by Alexander McQueen

Fan’s jacket by Balmain, gown by Tadashi Shoji; Lily’s dress by Alexander McQueen

Fan: Too true. And only the upper echelon of fashionistas can pull off these Harry Potter glasses.

Lily: Yeah, it’s pretty much just you and Daniel Radcliffe on that list.

Fan's gown by Armani Prive; Lily's dress by Marchesa, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

Fan’s gown by Armani Privé; Lily’s dress by Marchesa, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

Fan: You’re probably right. And I must say, for someone who has no chance whatsoever of beating me, you’re holding your own in this battle.

Lily: Why don’t you lay that thing down, flip it, and reverse it, because I am about to destroy you.

Fan's gown by Christopher Bu, purse by Elie Saab; Lily's gown by Zac Posen

Fan’s gown by Christopher Bu, purse by Elie Saab; Lily’s gown by Zac Posen

Fan: Nice try, dear, but your Snow White costumes can’t compete with my fierce take on traditional Chinese realness.

Lily: Costumes? Hardly. Kristen Stewart played Snow White too, and that sour-faced bitch can’t dress for shit. This is all me, baby.

Fan's gown by Elie Saab, purse by Salvatore Ferragamo; Lily's gown by Zuhair Murad

Fan’s gown by Elie Saab, purse by Salvatore Ferragamo; Lily’s gown by Zuhair Murad

Fan: Well, at least we can agree on one thing – we’re both way more fabulous than Kristen Stewart could ever dream of being.

Lily: Amen, sister.

AMY ADAMS vs. HAILEE STEINFELD
Amy's dress and shoes by Calvin Klein; Hailee's dress, purse, and shoes by Louis Vuitton

Amy’s dress and shoes by Calvin Klein; Hailee’s dress, purse, and shoes by Louis Vuitton

Amy: I swear, I’m not as terrified as I look in this picture. I think I can more than handle a match-up against some sixteen-year-old.

Hailee: Whatever. You’re basically the most boring star on any given red carpet.

Amy's dress by Marchesa, purse by VBH, shoes by Manolo Blahnik; Hailee's skirt by Mary Katrantzou, purse by Rebecca Minkoff, shoes by Brian Atwood

Amy’s dress by Marchesa, purse by VBH, shoes by Manolo Blahnik; Hailee’s skirt by Mary Katrantzou, purse by Rebecca Minkoff, shoes by Brian Atwood

Amy: Boring?! Do you call being wrapped up like a little Marchesa present BORING?

Hailee: Yeah, I do. Especially compared to my silly tee, crazy printed skirt, and platforms.

Amy's gown by Gucci; Hailee's romper and purse by Louis Vuitton

Amy’s gown by Gucci; Hailee’s romper and purse by Louis Vuitton

Amy: When you’re older, you’ll look back on your outfits and laugh, just like I’m doing right now.

Hailee: Bitch, please. I look amazing in this romper. And have you seen my black-strapped, nude-toed, red-platformed Mary Janes? These will be fabulous forever.

Amy's gown by Marchesa; Hailee's top and shorts by Prabal Gurung

Amy’s gown by Marchesa; Hailee’s top and shorts by Prabal Gurung

Amy: No, my mermaid gown will be fabulous forever. You will just have a pirate chasing you because he’s pissed you stole his shirt.

Hailee: And you’ll have birds dressing you in the morning because you are actually indistinguishable from a Disney princess. And I don’t mean that as a compliment.

Amy's gown by Oscar de la Renta; Hailee's gown by Miu Miu

Amy’s gown by Oscar de la Renta; Hailee’s gown by Miu Miu

Amy: Oh, I’m the Disney princess? What about you, with your peachy-pink, bow-adorned, flower-embellished gown?

Hailee: Dude, I’m sixteen. I’m SUPPOSED to dress like this.

EMMA STONE vs. AMANDA SEYFRIED
Emma's dress by Daniel Vosovic, shoes by Rupert Sanderson; Amanda's dress by Michael Kors, shoes by Alexandre Birman

Emma’s dress by Daniel Vosovic, shoes by Rupert Sanderson; Amanda’s dress by Michael Kors, shoes by Alexandre Birman

Emma: I have to warn you, Amanda, I was the runner-up in March Fabness 2012 – that Hermione Granger bitch only beat me by a hair. So if you think you can throw on an LBD and some boring pumps, you’ve got another thing coming.

Amanda: Your shirt looks like a bib, Emma, so the trash talk isn’t exactly convincing.

Emma's dress by Lanvin, shoes by Brian Atwood; Amanda's suit by Miu Miu, purse and shoes by Prada

Emma’s dress by Lanvin, shoes by Brian Atwood; Amanda’s suit by Miu Miu, purse and shoes by Prada

Emma: Do you even own a pair of shoes that isn’t black and gigantic? I mean, you look like you’re on really ugly, stubby stilts.

Amanda: Whatever. You only wish you could rock ladypants as well as I can.

Emma's jumpsuit by Elie Saab; Amanda's gown by Alexander McQueen

Emma’s jumpsuit by Elie Saab; Amanda’s gown by Alexander McQueen

Emma: Oh, yeah? What about these fine ladypants? They sweep the floor with your floor-sweeping gown.

Amanda: Does Liza Minnelli know that you stole her outfit?

Emma's dress by Chanel, shoes by Christian Louboutin; Amanda's gown by Alexander McQueen

Emma’s dress by Chanel, shoes by Christian Louboutin; Amanda’s gown by Alexander McQueen, shoes by Rupert Sanderson

Emma: Don’t start, bitch. You’ll never get out of this battle alive.

Amanda: Please. My bedroom eyes alone are more captivating than your entire personality.

Emma's gown by Gucci, shoes by Christian Louboutini; Amanda's gown by Zac Posen

Emma’s gown by Gucci, shoes by Christian Louboutin; Amanda’s gown by Zac Posen

Emma: Fine. Give me your best old Hollywood hair and your most dramatic gown, because this shit is on.

Amanda: Bring it.

HELEN MIRREN vs. KELLY ROWLAND
Helen's dress and coat by Escada, purse by Lana Marks, shoes by Stuart Weitzman; Kelly's dress by Roberto Cavalli, shoes by Charlotte Olympia

Helen’s dress and coat by Escada, purse by Lana Marks, shoes by Stuart Weitzman; Kelly’s dress by Roberto Cavalli, shoes by Charlotte Olympia

Helen: Hello, darling. Pardon me, but my memory isn’t what it once was – who are you again?

Kelly: I’m Kelly Rowland, ma’am. From Destiny’s Child?

Helen's dress by Dolce & Gabbana; Kelly's dress by Victoria Beckham, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Helen’s dress by Dolce & Gabbana; Kelly’s dress by Victoria Beckham, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Helen: Which one is that? The girls who sang the “Shoop” song? I liked that.

Kelly: No, um, actually, we were a little later? You know, “Jumpin’ Jumpin'” and “Bills, Bills, Bills,” remember those? Remember “Bugaboo”?

Helen's dress, purse, and shoes by Dolce & Gabbana; Kelly's dress by Naeem Khan, shoes by Gucci

Helen’s dress, purse, and shoes by Dolce & Gabbana; Kelly’s dress by Naeem Khan, shoes by Gucci

Helen: Oh, of course! That was a lovely song, dear. Dame Judi Dench and I used to sing it at karaoke bars in London all the time.

Kelly: Oh my God, that’s the GREATEST THING I’VE EVER HEARD.

Helen's gown by Escada, purse by Tory Burch; Kelly's dress by Alexander McQueen

Helen’s gown by Escada, purse by Tory Burch; Kelly’s dress by Alexander McQueen

Helen: Well, it was rather popular, you see. And we simply – what’s the phrase? Tore it up?

Kelly: I am sure you did, Helen. I am SO sure you and Dame Judi Dench performed the greatest karaoke version of “Bugaboo” the world has ever seen.

Helen's gown by Badgley Mischka, Kelly's gown by Georges Chakra

Helen’s gown by Badgley Mischka, Kelly’s gown by Georges Chakra

Helen: You’re just too sweet, Kelly, dear. It was a pleasure doing battle with you.

Kelly: You’re my hero, Helen Mirren. That is all.

© Democracy Diva, 2013.
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