Are you ready for a good old-fashioned judgmental red carpet recap, dear readers? 

EMMY ROSSUM in New York City
dress by Naeem Khan, shoes by Rupert Sanderson

We’ve seen 1920s moments on the red carpet before, but as The Great Gatsby premiere approaches, I’m expecting lots more flapper-inspired looks on the red carpet, and not just from Carey Mulligan. And since Emmy Rossum is EVERYWHERE right now, she’s taken it upon herself to serve up some 1920s deliciousness in gold and black. I’d like this look better if her pinkie toes weren’t falling out of her sandals (it just looks painful), but I love her in this dress.

EMMY ROSSUM in Hollywood
dress by Topshop, purse by Christian Louboutin

Emmy’s proving that her street style is as chic as her red carpet style (and she allegedly doesn’t have a stylist, in case you were curious). The key to great celebrity street style is an effortless mix of affordable and unreasonably expensive pieces – like Emmy’s too-cute Topshop dress paired with that mind-bogglingly-gorgeous Louboutin tote. Seriously, that bag is a work of art.

EMMY ROSSUM in New York City
dress by Temperley London, shoes by Rupert Sanderson

Not terrible, but less impressive than her other looks. It’s also a little youthful, between the baby-blue color and the silver pumps.

FAN BINGBING and HUANG  XIAOMING in Beijing
Fan’s top and pants by Etro, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

Obviously Fan looks flawless, but can we talk about the sandals Huang is wearing? Because they’re AWESOME.

FAN BINGBING in Hong Kong
dress and purse by Louis Vuitton, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

Probably one of the only Fan Bingbing looks I’ve ever seen that I actually dislike. The proportions of that dress are all wrong – the fit is off, and the length of the sleeves and the hemline are just awkward. And the accessories are underwhelming.

NICOLE KIDMAN in Vienna
gown by Oscar de la Renta, purse by Roger Vivier

I don’t think all the fabric around her neck was really necessary, but other than that, I do love this gown.

NICOLE KIDMAN in Vienna
suit by Nina Ricci, shoes by Nicholas Kirkwood

I think the jacket is a little snug on her – she should be able to move her arms in it, at least – but it’s still a phenomenal suit. And those shoes demand a close-up, because they are all kinds of delicious:

Yeah, I’ll be needing some of those ASAP.

DIANE KRUGER in New York City
dress and purse by Chanel, boots by Christian Louboutin

Chic and stylish, but the winner of March Fabness 2013 can do a little better than this, don’t you think?

ANNA KENDRICK in Los Angeles
dress by Thakoon, shoes by Jerome C. Rousseau

Lose the choker, and this would be one of my favorite Anna Kendrick looks of all time. When she stops wearing stupid sparkly nude Zuhair Murad dresses, you can actually tell that she’s stylish and beautiful!

SELENA GOMEZ in Beverly Hills
dress by Marios Schwab, purse by Lauren Merkin, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

I like this version of Selena. She doesn’t always dress too youthfully, but her more mature looks still have that feel of a little girl playing dress-up. This, on the other hand, has a grown-up fierceness to it that I haven’t often seen on her before. The accessories are a little too boring for my taste, but the dress is damn cool.

KERRY WASHINGTON in Los Angeles
gown by Jason Wu, purse by Bottega Veneta, shoes by Christian Louboutin

I love Kerry, but this belongs on a much younger and much less famous woman. To me, this feels like the ball gown you wear when you’re not old or rich enough for a real fabulous gown and are just settling for something vaguely princess-like.

MARION COTILLARD in Tokyo
gown and shoes by Christian Dior

There are few things I hate in this world more than mullet skirts. But Marion Cotillard’s new haircut is DEFINITELY one of those things. I just don’t understand why someone as beautiful and stylish as Marion would do this to themselves. I don’t care if it’s for a role as a mental patient – wear a damn wig if you have to, just don’t show up on the red carpet with bangs like that. EVER.

ROSARIO DAWSON in New York City
dress, belt, purse, and shoes by Bottega Veneta

Those sleeves are a nightmare, and I can’t even believe celebrities are still wearing patent leather silly putty pumps. They weren’t anything great to begin with, and they should have been retired months ago, at least on the red carpet. (Us mere mortals get more freedom in our wardrobes, because we don’t have designers sending us free clothing and accessories whenever we want.)

DITA VON TEESE in Sao Paulo
gown by Jenny Packham

Dita, you’ve been slipping lately. I used to find almost nothing wrong with anything you wore, but even beautiful gowns need to fit right in order to be beautiful. This is overall just too big on her (the length, the bust, and the waist are all problematic), the red satin-y belt makes it look like Christmas, and the styling just doesn’t work for me. I know the 1940s Hollywood hair and makeup are her trademark, but that doesn’t mean they work with everything she wears.

GWYNETH PALTROW in Brentwood, California
dress by Victoria Beckham, shoes by Michael Kors

Jesus, woman, put on a dress that fits and stop dressing like you’re a tween starlet.

TAYLOR SWIFT in Las Vegas
gown by Dolce & Gabbana

I swear, she’s worn this FOUR THOUSAND TIMES BEFORE.

DIANNA AGRON in Los Angeles
top and skirt by Derek Lam, purse by Marc Jacobs

Hideous. She’s way too short to make the proportions of that top and skirt work, that red hair looks awful on her, and the leopard print purse against that crazy-printed dress is an absolute mystery to me. This look just doesn’t make any sense.

CARRIE UNDERWOOD in Las Vegas
gown by Naeem Khan, purse by Jimmy Choo

Florals are wonderful, but there’s a point of diminishing returns when the flowers you are wearing are so ginormous that they appear to be taking over the world. Also, what is with the hair, Carrie?

ANGELINA JOLIE in New York City
gown and cape by Saint Laurent

TASSELS? She’s got to be fucking kidding me.

JADA PINKETT SMITH in New York City
gown by Miu Miu, purse by Kara Ross, shoes by Saint Laurent

Who on earth pairs a yellow dress like this with black-and-gold glorified house slippers and a silver purse? In what universe do those colors and textures work together? And who is responsible for Jada’s hair extensions? Because they need to be fired TODAY.

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© Democracy Diva, 2013.
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