CLAIRE DANES at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner
gown by Prada
Claire Danes and Prada are an unstoppable combination as far as I’m concerned. She looks her best in simple silhouettes with beautiful, vintage-feeling detailing, which Prada excels at. I think this is the perfect look for the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, AKA Nerd Prom. That shade of baby blue is amazing on her, and the fit is fantastic.
CLAIRE DANES at the Time 100 Gala
dress and necklace by Lanvin
I’m not sure I’ve ever seen Claire Danes in an animal print on the red carpet, but she’s working this stunning tiger-print dress. The flared skirt looks really beautiful in that pattern, and I like the belt and the simple shoes, but the necklace is a little distracting and unnecessary.
JESSICA PARÉ at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner
gown by Antonio Berardi, purse and shoes by Roger Vivier
I think this gown is absolutely phenomenal on Jessica – easily the best dressed I’ve ever seen her (out of character, that is). But I’ve seen her and plenty of other celebrities carry that same Roger Vivier purse so many times that it’s starting to drive me a tiny bit insane.
JESSICA PARÉ in New York City
dress by Roksanda Ilincic, shoes by Charlotte Olympia
The dress and shoes are flawless, but the hair and makeup could use a little help.
VICTORIA BECKHAM in London
top, skirt, and purse by Victoria Beckham, shoes by Casadei
I love everything about this, even though the shirt probably wouldn’t look as good on anyone but Posh. And I would absolutely KILL for that clutch.
KATY PERRY in Cancun
dress, headband, and earrings by Dolce & Gabbana
This was my Spring 2013 red carpet prediction for Eva Mendes, but I think it’s equally heavenly on Katy. In true Katy style, the earrings are way too much and totally ridiculous and probably really, really painful to wear, but I probably wouldn’t recognize her if she weren’t wearing at least one what-the-fuck piece. But everything about this look is fantastic, this beach Barbie style that Katy seems to be favoring lately.
KATY PERRY in Cancun
dress by Zimmermann, shoes by Jimmy Choo
Nope. That dress looks like wrapping paper, it makes your boobs look silly, and there is sand all over your Jimmy Choos!
ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELEY in London
dress by Michael Kors, shoes by Jean-Michel Cazabat
I don’t think the white shoes even remotely go with this dress, but the dress itself is pretty killer. Simple and sexy, but a little more interesting than the usual Michael Kors fare. And I think those soft waves in her hair look beautiful.
KATE BOSWORTH at the San Francisco Film Festival
dress by Oscar de la Renta, purse by Devi Kroell
The dress is cute, but it’s a little too predictable, as are the accessories. You can usually count on Ms. Bosworth to pull off some interesting shit, so this is pretty disappointing. And the makeup is a joke.
KATE MARA at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner
gown, purse, and shoes by Prada
The largeness of the bow combined with the weird width of the sleeves absolutely drown the teensy little Kate Mara, but the styling is pretty killer.
AMY POEHLER at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner
gown by Basler
This gown is divine on her. In fact, I love virtually everything about this look except the hair.
CHRISTINA AGUILERA at the Time 100 Gala
gown by Victoria Beckham, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz
By far the best Christina Aguilera has looked in at least five years, maybe more. I mean, the hair is still too blonde, the makeup is still too heavy, the jewelry is WAY too much, and her tits barely fit in there, but sadly, that’s still a remarkable improvement over basically everything she’s worn in recent memory.
ZOE SALDANA in Berlin
top and skirt by Calvin Klein, shoes by Jimmy Choo
I saw this on practically every Best Dressed list this week and didn’t understand it at all. I like crop tops, but this one is painfully shapeless. The skirt is cool, but the proportions of it don’t make any sense with that top OR those shoes, which are so wrong for this look, I don’t even understand how she landed on them in the first place. She looks good because she’s Zoe fucking Saldana and she’s always going to look good, but this outfit is kind of a disaster.
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE and JESSICA BIEL at the Time 100 Gala
Justin’s suit and Jessica’s dress, purse, and shoes by Tom Ford
They both look like magician’s assistants, and it’s incredibly off-putting.
JULIANNE MOORE at the Tribeca Film Festival
dress and purse by Alexander McQueen, shoes by Narciso Rodriguez
Love the dress, HATE the shoes.
HELEN MIRREN in London
gown by Lindka Cierach
The bridesmaid purse doesn’t go at all, but the real crime is those shoes, which make her look like she has fucking HOOVES. What is going on there?
OLIVIA WILDE in Washington, DC
gown by Valentino
The dress is hideous and doesn’t come close to fitting her, her makeup is awful, and if she thinks she is actually pulling off that fucking doily on her head, she is terribly, terribly mistaken.
SELENA GOMEZ in New York City
top and pants by Peter Pilotto, shoes by Rupert Sanderson
I would love this look if it didn’t have that stupid fucking tummy cut-out! What, like this crazy mixed-print peplum top and matching pants didn’t have ENOUGH going on? It really needed the world’s most unflattering hole in the middle? It’s a shame, because this would be so divalicious otherwise.
SELENA GOMEZ in Los Angeles
top by Vince, skirt by Blumarine, shoes by Nicholas Kirkwood
I hate everything but those shoes, and I saw those on Jennifer Lawrence last week.
SELENA GOMEZ in New York City
coat by Burberry, shoes by Brian Atwood
I never thought I would actually need to say this, but here goes: If you wear nothing but a trench coat and knee-high black leather boots, it is virtually impossible to not look like a streetwalker. Selena, you are no exception.