ZOE SALDANA in New York City
suit by Antonio Berardi, shoes by Christian Louboutin
I love a good pantsuit more than life itself, and when it’s printed and fabulously tailored, I’m in heaven. Zoe in particular looks so fantastic in these interesting architectural pieces. And is there a woman or drag queen alive who wouldn’t kill for those shoes? I think not.
ZOE SALDANA in Los Angeles
dress by Rodarte, jewelry by Aurélie Bidermann, shoes by Oscar Tiye
I’d probably hate this on a lesser woman, but if you have the body to wear this sheer, ethereal wisp of a dress, go on and get it. I think it’s just delicately beautiful, and the pop of color in the shoes is pretty brilliant.
MILEY CYRUS at the Billboard Music Awards
jumpsuit by Balmain, shoes by Givenchy
I can’t support the clown makeup, but I fully support Miley’s transformation into pop-punk fashionista. This jumpsuit is just so fucking cool, it’s fascinating to look at, and she works the hell out of it.
MILEY CYRUS in Hollywood
jumpsuit by Valentino, shoes by Saint Laurent
Certainly not my favorite jumpsuit in the world, and it’s not particularly flattering, but the shoes and jewelry bring the chic factor up a few notches. Dig the hair and makeup too.
MARION COTILLARD at the Dior Cruise 2014 show
coat and shoes by Christian Dior
That coat is a work of art, but the shoes are kind of obnoxious.
EMMY ROSSUM at the Billboard Music Awards
gown by Zuhair Murad, jewelry by Amrapali
It’s way too formal for the Billboard Music Awards, but she looks stupendous in it. I could just sit here and look at those beautiful sleeves all day long, but that would make for a boring post.
KERRY WASHINGTON in New York City
dress by Lanvin, purse by Tod’s, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Wish the shoes were a different color, but she looks so effortlessly lovely and stylish in this dress.
KERRY WASHINGTON in Hollywood
dress by Giambattista Valli, purse by Lanvin
Again, cute dress, but Ms. Washington could definitely use a few more interesting pairs of shoes.
NINA DOBREV in New York City
dress by Azzaro, shoes by Jimmy Choo
This dress is too cute on her, and her Jimmy Choos are adorable. The purse isn’t my favorite, but she looks fantastic overall.
JAIME KING in New York City
blouse and skirt by Versus
The hair is a colorist’s nightmare, the shoes are too much, and I don’t particularly like the buttoned-up-to-the-neck trend. But that safety pin skirt is a lot of fun, and it looks great with the print of that blouse.
JESSICA BIEL at the Chanel Cruise 2014 show
top and skirt by Christian Dior, jewelry by David Webb
I like the dress itself, but the fit is all wrong and the proportions look very awkward on her. And whoever told Jessica she could pull off that shade of lipstick was clearly playing a sadistic prank on her.
EMMA WATSON in Nice, France
dress by A.L.C., sunglasses by Ray-Ban, shoes by Tabitha Simmons
I’m ready to ban black ankle booties with little white dresses, but if anyone can look good doing it, it’s Emma Watson.
DIANE KRUGER in Los Angeles
top and pants by Prabal Gurung, shoes by Jimmy Choo
You can do a hell of a lot better, Diane. The only reason this doesn’t look terrible is because you’re so fierce you can almost pull off those ridiculous pants.
HAILEE STEINFELD in Los Angeles
dress by Prabal Gurung
The purse is a slightly different black from the dress, and the shoes are a slightly different ivory from the dress, and that’s just killing me. She’s still adorable, but she could have brought this look to a whole new level with some better styling.
CHLOË MORETZ at the Billboard Music Awards
dress and shoes by Fendi
This dress is just too busy. Edit out a few dozen details and we might be able to talk. Cute shoes, though!
TAYLOR SWIFT at the Billboard Music Awards
dress by Zuhair Murad, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz, shoes by Jimmy Choo
I could very happily never see another Zuhair Murad dress on Taylor Swift or Eva Longoria, ever again. BRANCH OUT, PEOPLE!
LUCY LIU in New York City
capelet by J. Mendel, gown by Vivienne Westwood, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz, purse by Salvatore Ferragamo
This saddens me, because I could really love this look, but the shape and fit are so awkward that they make the absurdly beautiful Lucy Liu look downright stumpy. And that’s just unforgiveable.
JENNIFER LOPEZ at the Billboard Music Awards
gown by Zuhair Murad, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Oh, and J.Lo. Add her to the list of people who are never allowed to wear Zuhair Murad again. And as if this wasn’t tacky enough, the gold shoes matching the gold purse? Ugh.
JENNIFER MORRISON at the Billboard Music Awards
gown by Kristian Aadnevik, purse by Edie Parker
Everything about this dress is wrong.
SELENA GOMEZ at the Billboard Music Awards
gown by Atelier Versace, jewelry by Neil Lane, shoes by Jimmy Choo
Oh, honey, no. I know you feel the need to show off just how very grown up you are, but vag-high slits and supremely unflattering cut-outs that make you look like you got slashed on the way to this event are NOT the way to go. And lose the glowsticks as trim, because there’s just no situation in which that works.