Best Dressed: SARAH PAULSON
gown by Armani Privé
Sarah Paulson might be the secretly-best-dressed woman in Hollywood. She doesn’t immediately come to mind when you think of the pinnacle of celebrity fabness, because she’s not as famous as Cate Blanchett or as glam as Diane Kruger or as all-around darling as Emma Watson. But this woman can fucking DRESS (or at the very least, she pays a very talented stylist a shit-load of money to make us think that). This couture explosion of crinoline and polka dots was so unexpected. It was funky enough to make her stand out from the sea of basic bitches in basic red dresses, but formal enough for a nominee to wear to the event and look like a winner, regardless of whether she takes home a trophy. (She didn’t, but she did earn the coveted Best Dressed spot from the Democracy Diva, and we all know that’s a much higher honor than some stupid Emmy award.)
Runners-Up: CAMILA ALVES and MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY
Camila’s gown by Zuhair Murad, purse by Aldo
Matthew’s tuxedo, shirt, and bow tie by Dolce & Gabbana
She is working this dress like it’s her fucking job, which it pretty much is. I adore every single detail of her look, save for the belt and the hair. (It should be noted that even the best-dressed stars showed up with hair that was either terribly dull, like Camila’s, or looked vaguely rained-upon, like January Jones’s.) And although navy and black can look overwhelming and/or dated on the red carpet, Matthew McConaughey pulled off this tux like a fucking champion. His shiny blue shoes alone deserve an Emmy.
Honorable Mention: AMY POEHLER
gown by Theia
SEX ON A STICK. You fucking work that art deco Chrysler Building dream of a gown, Ms. Poehler. You are my hero.
gown by Zac Posen
It wouldn’t kill her to lay off the self-tanner, since she appears to be positively tangerine, but everything else is a very welcome surprise. No skin showing? No skin-tight sequins? No slit up to the vulva? Who are you, and what have you done with Heidi Klum?
gown by Tadashi Shoji, purse by Rauwolf
Tadashi Shoji has been responsible for almost every single one of Octavia Spencer’s red carpet looks, but this outshines them all. The sari-like top of the gown is virtually flawless on her, and the draping on the bottom is mega-flattering. I might have chosen a copper or rose-gold purse in a similar shade to her earrings, instead of the black clutch, but she looks more glamorous than ever.
tuxedo, shirt, and tie by Gucci
gown by Marc Bouwer, shoes by Stuart Weitzman
Laverne usually opts for tight, severe dresses, but I’m thrilled the Orange is the New Black star went with this effortless, romantic silhouette instead. She has never looked more elegant, and her hair has never looked better. Also, the back of this gown was pretty damn exceptional:
I love that it’s fit to her body, to show off that rockin’ ass, but with the train draped on top for some princessy beauty. The circles in the straps could have made this look like a shower curtain, but the silver detailing helps keep it glam. Let’s hear it for Marc Bouwer’s draping skills – he showed off Laverne’s powerful shoulders while making her look soft and delicate, and she was positively glowing as a result.
gown by Nicolas Jebran, purse by Judith Leiber, shoes by Christian Louboutin
I can’t pretend I’m remotely fond of the styling, but Allison Janney in a velvet magenta gown with a delicately draped bow and a semi-tulip skirt? I’m sold.
gown by J. Mendel
Queen Margaery brought some much-needed attitude to the red carpet, and dared to don Halloween colors without looking costumey. And she pulled it off, mostly based on the power of her bedroom eyes and McKayla Maroney pout.
gown by Christian Siriano
Christian Siriano dressed an insane number of stars for this event, but I think he had the most fun with Teyonah Parris (better known as Dawn from Mad Men). The colors are spectacular, the silhouette is dramatic, and the styling is a delight. Siriano once again showed his uncanny ability to dress less-famous actresses and make them look better than the A-listers.
gown by Rosie Assoulin
Points for creativity, but I don’t think this was as successful as it could have been. The colorblocked pleating on top is intricately beautiful, especially with that darling neckline and those adorable little halter-esque straps. But I’m not sure it really needed that cut-out in the center. The waistband is sweet and flattering, but I wish the outer curved parts of the skirt were the entire skirt – the all-baby-pink middle section just sort of hangs there stiffly.
gown by Peter Som, purse by Rauwolf
It was refreshing to see a print on the red carpet, but that collar is maybe just a bit too thick. She also could have dressed it up a bit more by losing the matching earrings and adding more diamonds. I’m nit-picking, really, because this is actually a big step forward for Ms. Bowen, fashion-wise. But something about it left me wanting more.
gown by Nathaniel Paul, purse by Swarovski
I support the short hair, but I think it could have used a trim. And I think proportionally, those little straps at the top look a little strange with the shape of the bodice. But otherwise, DAMN. Taystee cleans up REAL fucking good. That high slit looks phenomenal on her.
dress by Lanvin, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Completely unimaginative. I expected more from you, Jessica. Megan Draper would not approve.
gown by Roberto Cavalli
We get it. You’re a trophy.
gown by Monique Lhuillier, purse by Swarovski
I wish she had worn this gown in virtually any other color, because it’s a fantastic silhouette. But red and pink? And a matching pink purse? Come on. She’s Justin Bieber from the neck-up and a seventh-grader at a Valentine’s Day dance from the bust-down.
gown by Jenny Packham, purse by Edie Parker
I hate that shade of blue, and the almost-but-not-quite matching accessories are terrible. The blue, white, and gold combination looks weirdly nautical, and all of this read as kind of tacky.
gown by Elie Saab
Halle Berry: still wearing the same dress she’s been wearing since 1997.
gown by Dsquared2, purse by Swarovski, shoes by Casadei
She is WAY too much of a basic bitch to pull off this dress.
Worst Dressed: KATHERINE HEIGL
vintage gown by John Hayles, purse by Oroton
I won’t waste my time or yours by pointing out what I hate about this. It’s everything. It’s absolutely everything. Universe, please stop letting Katherine Heigl do things. This isn’t a hot mess, it’s a hot catastrophe.