2014 Venice Film Festival, Part 1

Everything is fabber in Venice, dear readers. 

gown by Valentino, purse and shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Venturelli/WireImage

Kicking things off is the flawless Emma Stone, serving up woodland-nymph children-of-the-forest realness. It’s ethereal and romantic, that shade of midnight green is phenomenal on her coloring, and that new haircut is just goddamn perfect on her. March Fabness usually devolves into a battle of the Emmas, but unless Watson gets her ass on some more red carpets this year, Stone is going to slaughter her come spring.

top and pants by Proenza Schouler, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Venturelli/WireImage

These seemingly elastic waistband pants shouldn’t work, but somehow, they do. The casual, loose fit at the tops feels appropriate for a summer event in Italy; the tapered bottoms and killer shoes bring it to a film festival photocall place. Oh, and speaking of killer shoes:

top and pants by Sandro

Photo: AKM-GSI

I NEED THOSE SHOES IN MY LIFE IMMEDIATELY IF NOT SOONER. More ordinary starlets would have paired these chic-but-simple separates with the Stuart Weitzman “Nudist” sandal, but Emma Stone is above all your bullshit, basic bitches. Deal with her shoes.  

gown by Alberta Ferretti, necklace by Bvlgari, purse by Salvatore Ferragamo

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

The Venice Film Festival is a fashion blogger’s dream, because all the international stars come out to play wearing as many Italian designers as they can get their perfectly-manicured hands on. Spanish model Nieves Alvarez can always be counted on to bring the drama. I know that Bvlgari serpent necklace has been worn by practically every celebrity on earth by now, from Jessica Biel to Zhang Ziyi to Naomi Watts to Julianne Moore, but hey – it’s still fucking gorgeous. And I think the color and fit of this gown are just perfect for Nieves.

gown by Alberta Ferretti, necklace by Chopard, shoes by Salvatore Ferragamo

Photo: PH Morpheus/Splash News

The bodice could have been pulled up half an inch, and I always think her necklaces are just slightly larger than they really need to be, but girlfriend looks terrific. Putting a model in a red dress, black pumps, and center-parted hair isn’t exactly the most difficult recipe to get right, but she’s absolutely glowing in this.

gown by Armani Privé

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

Italian actress Luisa Ranieri nailed the sheer trend like a pro. I just cannot stop looking at this incredibly luxe fabric. I love the way you can see the red carpet through it, making the dress look more royal blue than navy in certain spots. It’s eye-catching and completely glam.

dress by Miu Miu

Photo: Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty

And now, let’s unleash the floodgates for a veritable hurricane of starlets in Miu Miu! Kirsten Dunst looks exceptionally cool and fun in her red dress and metallic accessories. I’d wear the hell out of this entire outfit, and Dunst’s styling hasn’t been this clean and fresh in ages.

dress by Miu Miu

PHoto: Insabato-Romaniello/Olycom/Abaca

Still working that effortlessly-fab vibe, but in direct sunlight, this Malibu Barbie hair color looks kind of ridiculous on her.

dress, purse, and shoes by Miu Miu

Photo: Elisabetta A. Villa/WireImage

I’m pretty sure you have to be in the Fanning family to pull off this many quirky little embellishments, but I’m still a fan. It’s vintage-feeling, but modern, and I love when Dakota brings a sense of humor to her wardrobe.

dress by Miu Miu

Photo: Venturelli/Getty

I really do like this dress, but it just seems so unreasonable for August in Italy. Also, get that Alexa Chung hipster-bullshit hair out of here.

dress and shoes by Miu Miu

Photo: Venturelli/Getty

Kate and Dakota wore the same pair of Miu Miu shoes to this event, but I think Dakota wore them much better. The eight billion shades of nude in this outfit just look kind of sad, and the platforms don’t work nearly as well with this 1920s-inspired dress as they did with Dakota’s mod 60s sheath.

gown by Alberta Ferretti, purse by Salvatore Ferragamo

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

This gown’s print is utterly fantastic, but the compliments end there. Fire your stylist, honey, because even that old drunk man behind you is like, “Who even wears hoop earrings anymore?”

gown by Dolce & Gabbana

Photo: Rex

This is kind of ridiculous, and the bodice appears to be actively running away from her breasts. But I actually don’t hate the babydoll dress-turned-gown thing. It’s absurd, but it might have worked if it actually fit her.

gown by Alberta Ferretti, purse by Salvatore Ferragamo

Photo: PA

This is why you have to wear makeup on the red carpet even if you’re one of the world’s most beautiful models. Camera lights are the enemy of under-eye bags. You can’t even pay attention to what Liya is wearing because she looks like a coked-out zombie.

gown by Zac Posen

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

Like most of what Zac Posen designs, it feels overworked and vaguely out-of-touch. The color really isn’t helping.

top and skirt by Christopher Kane

Photo: Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty

Simple, but adorable. Love the watch.

gown by Vivienne Westwood

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

No. I’m sorry. I get that this sloppy-couture train thing is intentional, but it looks like utter bullshit. 

gown by Armani Privé

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

I don’t know if I’m looking at underwear or vulva, and I don’t care. Line your sheer dresses, ladies. Also, consider wearing a color next time. Couture should never look as cheap and dingy as this.

gown by Alberta Ferretti, purse by Salvatore Ferragamo

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

Did I miss an episode of Project Runway where the designers had to dig up a wedding gown out of the dirt, rip it apart, and attempt to sew it back together with both hands tied behind their backs? Because that’s the only plausible explanation for this gown.

dress by Prada

Photo: Insabato/Romaniello/Olycom/Abaca

We get it, Lena. You’re trolling us. It’s so incredibly clever that you’re ensuring that we’re all discussing you by dressing like a stoned Golden Girl. I guess that’s an improvement over your drunk toddler disaster at the Emmys, but maybe next time, you could aim for something appropriate for a sober woman between the ages of six and sixty? Just a thought. 

© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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