Let’s continue one of the year’s most epic bitchfests, dear readers.
Best Dressed: JESSICA CHASTAIN
gown by Atelier Versace
*etc. until the end of time
jacket, top, and pants by Narciso Rodriguez, necklace by Neil Lane
Flawless. The wide-leg pants could have read as too Liza, but the of-the-moment crop keeps this look fresh rather than disco-dated. The jewelry is phenomenal and the red pout is perfect. This is the way to work lady-pants at a formal event.
Honorable Mention: ALLISON WILLIAMS
gown by Armani Privé
By a mile, the best she’s ever looked. Her preppy Donna Karan gowns of the past never did anything for her, but she’s a fucking glamour queen in this magical couture gown. Also, can we talk about the guy behind her? That’s clearly his reaction to someone asking him what he thought of Marnie’s sex scene in the Girls premiere.
SOPHIE HUNTER and BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH
Sophie’s gown by Erdem
Benedict is obviously a god amongst men, but I was unaware that his fiancé is also awesome. Her Erdem gown is stylish as hell, but sweet and demure. And obviously, if it has pockets, I’m nearly always on board.
gown by Monique Lhuillier, earrings by Fred Leighton
I want to be her so badly, it’s getting a little weird.
gown by Miu Miu, jewelry by Tiffany & Co., shoes by Jimmy Choo
She looks like a vintage wedding Pinterest board, but I don’t actually hate it. At least it looks like an intentionally quirkly mish-mash, instead of a mistake.
gown by Atelier Versace, jewelry by Forevermark
I’m hoping that glittery rib cages don’t become a trend, but to be honest, I don’t hate this. It’s not at all my style, but Kate looks more put together here than she has in ages. I think a pop of color in her lipstick or nails would have gone a long way, but it’s definitely glamorous and statement-making.
gown by J. Mendel
The dress is a little overworked, but if anyone is woman enough to pull it off, it’s Jessica Lange.
tuxedo by Calvin Klein, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Is it weird that I love this? I can’t decide if this is bold and cool, or I’m just having some sort of mental breakdown, and thinking shiny nude tuxedos are cool is the first symptom.
gown by Badgley Mischka, jewelry by Chopard, shoes by Jimmy Choo
She might be the most endearing actress in the universe. I cried during her acceptance speech, and I don’t even watch her damn show. Anyway, I like the detailing at the bottom of the gown, but the rest of this look is a little too ordinary. Now that she’s got a major award under her belt, I hope she starts turning up the volume on the red carpet.
gown by Zac Posen
Well, it’s certainly not the worst thing she’s worn, right? Like too many Zac Posen looks, it’s got more seaming than it needs, and I don’t know how Lena managed to get this thing looking so wrinkled before the show even started. I also would have stayed far away from the matchy-matchy shoes. But, hey, she doesn’t look like a toddler’s birthday cake, so I guess we’ll have to call that a victory.
JAKE GYLLENHAAL and MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL
Jake’s tuxedo by Gucci
Maggie’s gown by Miu Miu
He: continues to be as gorgeous as he ever was. She: is really trying my patience with that aggressively underwhelming gown. It’s one of the prettier bridesmaid dresses I’ve seen, but it’s boring as hell on the red carpet. And while Maggie’s style is sometimes perplexing, she at least usually gives me something to talk about. This is just Ambien in dress form. But without the fun, trippy side effects.
gown and jewelry by Chanel
A gown this glitzy looks absolutely ridiculous when you don’t add much of anything in terms of hair, makeup, or jewelry. But I guess I can’t expect rational decision-making from anyone who agreed to go near Fifty Shades of Grey with a ten-foot pole. Also, welcome back, Guy Who Was Making Faces Behind Allison Williams! This is clearly him trying to describe the disgust he felt watching the Fifty Shades trailer.
gown by Donna Karan
NO, VIOLA DAVIS. YOU ARE SO MUCH FUCKING BETTER THAN THIS. YOU ARE NOT A BASIC BITCH. GO HOME AND START OVER.
gown by Marchesa
Unless Katie is starring in a brunette adaptation of Rapunzel, WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON WITH HER HAIR?
top and skirt by Ralph Lauren
Just wear a tux, Robin. You can still be comfortable, and wear all black, and be in separates, but you’ll look like the goddamn amazing superstar of a woman you are. This… this is just making me upset.
gown by Saint Laurent, jewelry by Neil Lane
So she’s just never going to wear anything but this? Ever? I was kind of hoping all the buzz about her dramatic chops in Cake meant that she would make a big red carpet statement, but if anything, she regressed even further into her circa-2002 aesthetic with this ensemble. Also, the placement of that slit is majorly awkward, yes?
gown by Vera Wang
I actually think it’s a fantastic feminist statement that Vera Wang is now making formal nursing bras for the red carpet.
gown by Atelier Versace
I’m thinking Jennifer Aniston and Heidi Klum must have time-traveled from the 2002 Golden Globes together. I can’t think of a more reasonable explanation for their respective outfits than that.
Worst Dressed: LANA DEL REY
gown by Versace
I’m sorry, Lana, but I do not want to be Part of Your World.