Fuck real life. Let’s go to New York Fashion Week.
NICKI MINAJ at the Versus Versace show
gown by Versus Versace
It really wasn’t so long ago that I hated every styling choice Nicki Minaj had ever made. And yet, over the past six months, I think I’ve loved a solid 95% of her outfits. I don’t know what spurred the change – a new stylist, a prescription drug, a tasteless demon finally deciding to stop possessing her – but God bless it. Also, if Versus by Versace hasn’t signed her on as a spokeswoman yet, that’s a missed opportunity. Get on that anaconda, Donatella.
NICKI MINAJ at the Alexander Wang show
top and skirt by Alexander Wang
Fashion Week is a painful amount of “wait, which former Disney star is that?” starlets in less-than-remarkable outfits. Nicki’s two-toned crop-topped cat-eyed studded-heeled look is like a breath of fresh air amongst a veritable sea of basic bitches. Thank you, Nicki, for keeping things interesting.
NINA DOBREV at the Versus Versace show
dress by Versus Versace
I am a big fan of tuxedo jackets over printed dresses, and these particular pieces are done to perfection. And I don’t even hate the black booties, and I hate black booties on celebrities approximately 93% of the time.
RIHANNA at the Altuzarra show
coat by Altuzarra
No pants, no problem. It’s Rihanna, after all. The most shocking thing should could do at this point would be to wear, like, a babydoll dress and pearls. Oh, wait…
RIHANNA at the Adam Selman show
dress by Adam Selman, shoes by Christian Louboutin
I’m so close to hating this, but the shoes are pushing me back over into loving it. Fashion Week brings out all my most complicated emotions, dear readers. It’s a sensitive time for us all.
SOPHIA BUSH at the Monique Lhuillier show
dress by Monique Lhuillier
I don’t know why Sophia Bush still gets invited to things, but lately, I’m glad she’s still on some PR guru’s good list. Those seafoam pumps are bringing so much joy into my life, I might actually need to reconsider my life choices. Because shoes I don’t own shouldn’t matter this much to me.
DAKOTA FANNING at the Kenzo show
dress and shoes by Kenzo
It’s a little needlessly weird, even for Dakota, who shares the title of Queen of Needlessly Weird Fashion Choices with her little sister Elle. But honestly, nix the buttons and I think this would have been one of my favorites. I’ll take needlessly weird over redundant and boring any day of the (fashion) week.
LEIGH LEZARK at the Versus Versace show
dress by Versus Versace
It truly isn’t New York Fashion Week until Leigh Lezark shows up. I swear, I have never seen her attend ANY non-fashion-week related event, and I still probably couldn’t pick her out of a line-up if my life depended on it, but this lady LIVES to show up way more famous stars at various fashion shows. I liked Nina Dobrev’s incarnation of this print better, but it’s still a blast.
HEIDI KLUM at the Project Runway show
dress by Julien Macdonald
It is the epitome of the Trifecta of Kluminess: short, tight, and shiny. Bonus: it’s also sheer and a ridiculously bright color. But, fuck it – here, of all places, it works. We’re in Heidi’s house now, and we have to play by her rules.
SARAH JESSICA PARKER at the Gareth Pugh show
dress by Preen, shoes by SJP
Hate the bracelet; love everything else.
JAMIE CHUNG at the Monique Lhuillier show
dress by Monique Lhuillier
Sweet but underwhelming. She could have tried a little bit harder.
JAMIE CHUNG at the BCBG Max Azria show
top and skirt by BCBG Max Azria, purse by Rebecca Minkoff, shoes by Sophia Webster
You’re wearing a poncho. Reevaluate your life choices.
UZO ADUBA at the Honor show
dress by Honor
Sweet, prim, and proper, but I’d love to see Crazy Eyes bring a little more attitude to her wardrobe.
EMMY ROSSUM at the Project Runway show
top and skirt by Barbara Bui
Boring, played-out, and all-around disappointing from the usually-fabulous Emmy Rossum.
KAT GRAHAM at the Naeem Khan show
dress by Naeem Khan
What poor, depressed Muppet had to die so that you could have that purse, Kat?
OLIVIA PALERMO at the Tibi show
top and skirt by Tibi
Someone just get this woman off the red carpet. Just for like, a month. She’s not even drenched in accessories like she usually is, but at this point, the sight of her exhausts me. Also, I guess having a signature thing about your wardrobe is, like, a requirement when you appear in public 80 times a week for no reason. But does your “thing” have to be fringe? Fringe is okay in small doses, I guess, but with EVERY SINGLE OUTFIT? Again, she just makes me tired.
CAMILA ALVES at the Donna Karan show
dress by Donna Karan
It would have worked if it were knee-length, but as is, this dress looks like it’s swallowing her whole.
PADMA LAKSHMI at the Naeem Khan show
jumpsuit by Naeem Khan
Well, now I just feel underdressed. I, like Padma, am currently wearing my pajamas, but hers are FANCY pajamas, and mine is a 1998 arts camp tee shirt.
ALLISON WILLIAMS at the Diane von Furstenberg show
dress by Diane von Furstenberg
It’s not even funny how much I would rather see Brian Williams on the red carpet than Allison Williams.
ALLISON WILLIAMS at the Rag & Bone show
top and skirt by Rag & Bone
From Girls to Golden Girls: The Allison Williams story.