Welcome back to the red carpet, darlings! 

ZOE SALDANA in New York City
dress by Lanvin, shoes by Saint Laurent

Zoe Saldana is pregnant and press touring, so I am ready for the world’s most fabulous maternity wear. She went simple but oh-so-chic in this beautiful Lanvin Fall 2014 dress that I predicted Carey Mulligan would wear. When your LBD is this flawless, do you need much more in the way of styling than diamond earrings and your own beautiful face? I think not.

ZOE SALDANA in New York City
dress by Calvin Klein, shoes by Stuart Weitzman

She’s going to be one of those pregnant women who doesn’t gain a pound outside their tummy and boobs and you’d never know she’s about to pop until she turns around, isn’t she? God, I hate those women. I know when I have a kid, I’m going to gain 65 pounds in my ass and ankles, just like my mother did.

ZOE SALDANA in New York City
dress by Monique Lhuillier, shoes by Jimmy Choo

It’s like maternity lingerie, but in a good way. The shoes are delightful.

MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL in New York City
top and skirt by Wes Gordon

Ms. Gyllenhaal is just killing it lately. She was going through a period where all her hipster ensembles looked a little like fussy old lady outfits, but she’s back on track. The embellishments here are modern and cool, and the shoes are SO GOOD I WANT THEM NOW ON MY FEET IMMEDIATELY IF NOT SOONER PLEASE.

MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL in New York City
dress by Vionnet

Weird, but in a fun way.

AUBREY PLAZA in New York City
blouse by Tanya Taylor

Uh, when did Aubrey Plaza become a street style icon? I’ve seen her in maybe one or two outfits I’ve actually liked in her history of being on the red carpet, but this is fantastic. Like, A-list level sidewalk fashion. I’m impressed.

EDDIE REDMAYNE and DOUGLAS BOOTH in Windsor, England
jackets and pants by Polo Ralph Lauren

Here’s your weekly dose of man candy. Eddie looks a bit ridiculous, and sort of like a very drunk old man, but Douglas is killing it in that blazer.

CAMERON DIAZ in Mexico City
dress by Saint Laurent, purse by Cleobella, shoes by Prada

I usually find Cameron’s LBD addiction mind-numbingly dull, but this is a little black dress I can get behind. It’s a great shape, and the draping of the top is incredibly well-done. Add pockets, funky heels, and sex hair, and you’re good to go.

KRISTEN BELL in Los Angeles
dress by Monique Lhuillier, purse by Edie Parker, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Maybe it’s because I just finished recapping Season 1 of Veronica Mars, but I’m in love with everything Kristen Bell does lately. This two-tone dress is cute as hell, and I like the boxy shape on her teensy-but-pregnant frame. The styling is fresh and lovely, and I just kind of want to be her best friend.

EMMY ROSSUM in Los Angeles
dress by Carolina Herrera

Her eye makeup makes me sad, but this dress is very pretty.

GWEN STEFANI in London
top and pants by A.L.C., shoes by L.A.M.B.

Gwen Stefani is serving up that laid-back funkiness that she does so damn well. Love the outfit, even though the shoes are only okay.

CHLOË MORETZ at the Young Hollywood Awards
dress by Valentino, shoes by Christian Louboutin

An adorable dress, completely destroyed by the awkward makeup and truly depressing hair. Someone please bring Chloë an adorable puppy to snuggle with. That hair makes me think she needs it.

SELENA GOMEZ in Los Angeles
top by Zimmermann, shoes by Barbara Bui

There’s nothing particularly wrong with this, but I just don’t like it. I think it’s because your top should be either cropped or snakeskin or a halter – all three makes you look like you’re most commonly found dancing in a cage.

CHRISSY TEIGEN in New York City
blouse by Saint Laurent, bra by La Perla, skirt by Stella McCartney, shoes by Saint Laurent

Being a celebrity must be weird. People take pictures of you standing in front of a picture of yourself eating pizza. And did someone forget about that bottle of champagne in the corner? Because I’ll take that, thank you very much.

TAYLOR SWIFT in New York City
dress by Novis, purse by Bulgari, shoes by Christian Louboutin

T.Swift’s street style game has been on point lately, but this is a little too desperate. Even though we know street style photos are almost as staged as red carpet ones, there should still be the illusion that the star just casually strolls down the street like this. But her mirrored sky-high Louboutins look absolutely insane in the daytime, particularly with relatively casual clothes. And you can tell the purse she’s holding is completely empty, because if she actually had anything in there, she wouldn’t be able to carry it directly in the middle of her arm like that. C’mon, Taylor – keep up the facade that you picked out/own literally any of these clothes, otherwise this shtick is never going to work.

NICOLA PELTZ in Tokyo
gown by Prada

I’m predisposed towards bright colors on the red carpet, but could we maybe try this dress again, this time in a size that even remotely suits Nicola’s frame? And lose the sad little neck bow, please.

HEIDI KLUM in New York City
dress by Versace

Oh, is it 2002 again? I didn’t get the memo, but I think Heidi’s hair, earrings, and abuse of fishnets really say it all.

MEGAN FOX in Mexico City
dress by Zuhair Murad, shoes by Brian Atwood

I am fully convinced that there is no Megan Fox. What we see on the red carpet is just a wax figurine, and the rest is movie magic. Try and prove me wrong.

GWYNETH PALTROW in East Hampton, New York
dress by Wes Gordon

Hm? What? Sorry, I completely fell asleep.

MIRANDA KERR in Munich
blouse, skirt, and purse by Escada, shoes by Christian Dior

Miranda Kerr is living proof that there is a such thing as being too matchy-matchy. Come on, Miranda. You are not the queen of England. Let’s calm down on the matching for awhile.

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© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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