The stars party on Monday; we judge them on Friday. That’s the way of the world, dear readers.
dress by Oscar de la Renta, purse by Rodo, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Jennifer Lawrence might have been the first star to don Oscar after the designer passed away on Monday night. It was a fitting tribute, for America’s sweetheart to wear the king of American fashion. J.Law’s hair and makeup have never looked better, and her sweet, feminine dress is juxtaposed beautifully with those harder, more bad-ass accessories. Well done, you fabulous lady, you.
suit and blouse by Versace, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Emmy is rocking an aesthetic I like to call “fashion bitch.” It’s harsh and dramatic; sexy and intense. For God’s sake, she’s wearing a “cut-out blouse,” which is essentially just a collar and a strip of fabric with some buttons on it. This is nonsensical, and yet she looks awesome in it. The slick chicness of the pinstriped suit helps bring the non-shirt into perspective, and the shoes were a great choice. All-around impressive work from Ms. Rossum.
dress by Michael Kors, purse by Amanda Pearl, shoes by Stuart Weitzman
It could have been just another floral dress, but the halter cut and the obscenely bright colors are elevating this to a seriously fucking fantastic place. It’s not rocket science, but it’s certainly gorgeous.
dress by Calvin Klein
I love the collar and the sleeves, but the chunky gray accessories are kind of distracting. I’m not the biggest Calvin Klein fan, so when the designer sponsors a party and half the attendees show up in CK, I get even more bitchy and judgmental than usual. So, get ready for that, I guess.
dress by Carolina Herrera
You can read about and comment upon Renee Zellweger’s face on basically every other place on the internet. I’m limiting this discussion to her clothes, which look damn good. The dress is flattering and the sleeves are funky; the gold accessories could be a little bit dated, but they feel more like an intentional throwback.
dress by Calvin Klein
I have long since adored this wintery, sweater-esque dress (I predicted Emilia Clarke would wear it), but the belt is ruining everything. And the proportions of the skirt definitely do not work with ankle-strap platforms. However, this dress is so yummy and Amy Poehler is so awesome that I’m still on board.
dress by Gucci
I’ve been in love with this yellow leather dress since it hit the Fall 2014 runways – it was my red carpet prediction for Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. I’m trying to love it on Bella, but I think it clashes terribly with her hair, and even more so with those sad, gray-ish nude platform peep-toes.
dress by Calvin Klein, purse by Thalé Blanc, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Normally, my problem with Calvin Klein is that the designers are just too minimalist to be interesting. This suffers from the opposite problem – it’s weird for the sake of weirdness. It’s more awkward than flattering, and it only looks remotely decent because Kerry Washington is the one wearing it. Also, didn’t celebrities make a tacit agreement to stop carrying that domino clutch like two years ago, after its popularity exploded all over the red carpet?
dress by Paule Ka
Kaley. You’re 28 years old. There’s no reason to be styling yourself like a menopausal woman trying to reclaim her youth.
dress by Marchesa, shoes by Jimmy Choo
This is a big bag of bullshit.
gown by Versace
This is terrible enough from the front, but much more dangerous from the side:
I know it’s the Women in Hollywood party, but unless the attendees were required to prove their womanhood via body inspections, I do not understand why I am looking at so very much of her breast.
dress by Oscar de la Renta, shoes by Christian Louboutin
I love Sarah Paulson, and I love Oscar de la Renta, but this is a mess. And when I told Emmy Rossum to fire her makeup artist a few weeks ago, I wasn’t planning on that artist being picked up by Sarah Paulson. Someone ban that terrible, terrible person from committing more makeup atrocities against celebrities.
blazer by Stella McCartney, shoes by Christian Louboutin
I’ll give her this much – the blazer is fantastic (proven by the fact that Cate Blanchett has worn it) and Teyonah is clearly having more fun than anyone else at this party. But that crop top/shorts combo makes her look like a Vegas cocktail waitress.