Let’s finish this.
Best Dressed: ANNE HATHAWAY at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Naeem Khan

Photo: Alberto E. Rodriguez/WireImage
Serving up pregnant flapper goddess realness. I am in love.
Runner-Up: TAYLOR SWIFT at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Alexandre Vauthier, purse by Jimmy Choo, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

Photo: Alberto E. Rodriguez/WireImage
Taylor’s squad is addicted to black cut-out gowns, but this is technically just mega-plunging, so I think it gets a pass. And she looks fucking gorgeous. I’m not totally sold on the bob in general, but I think it’s working wonders here. And A+ on the choker – it brings the look together so perfectly, this actually might have been a disaster without it.
Honorable Mention: DIANE KRUGER at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Reem Acra, purse by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Evan Agostini/Invision/AP
Diane Kruger can really do no wrong on the red carpet, even when she wears an over-embellished version of a gown we’ve seen before. It’s still magnificent, it’s just a WHOLE LOT of magnificence. Especially for, you know, NOT THE ACTUAL OSCARS.
RACHEL MCADAMS at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Naeem Khan, shoes by Stuart Weitzman

Photo: Billy Farrell/BFA/Rex/Shutterstock
This is delicate and lovely and romantic, but not so sweet that it makes the cynic in me roll my eyes too hard.
GWEN STEFANI at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Yanina Couture, purse by Jimmy Choo, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Scott Kirkland/Variety/Rex/Shutterstock
I think it might be a little bit too big on her, or that sheer fabric just doesn’t look great while she’s moving, but it’s vibrant and bold and fun as hell. I respect the effort.
NAOMI CAMPBELL at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Atelier Versace

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty
She can do whatever she wants and look flawless. That’s what happens when you’re Naomi Campbell. It’s not a very interesting gown, but that’s practically irrelevant what with the Naomi of it all.
ELIZABETH BANKS at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Ralph & Russo

Photo: David Livingston/Getty
This is taking itself WAY too seriously. And that’s really disappointing coming from Elizabeth Banks, who I love precisely because she has so much fun with her red carpet game.
ZOOEY DESCHANEL at the Elton John party
gown by Sachin & Babi, purse by Edie Parker

Photo: Jamie McCarthy/Getty
KERRY WASHINGTON at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Atelier Versace

Photo: John Shearer/Getty
I would love to meet the person who talked Kerry Washington into wearing a neon spaghetti harness. Seriously. That person is clearly capable of mind control, and we need to find who they are and how we can stop them before they strike again.
OLIVIA MUNN at the Vanity Fair party
gown by J. Mendel, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Stewart Cook/Rex/Shutterstock
You can maybe get away with wearing a gown this busy, but not with a fucking ponytail.
DEMI LOVATO at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Dolce & Gabbana, earrings by Neil Lane

Photo: Stewart Cook/Rex/Shutterstock
Girl, you are too young for this dress.
MIRANDA KERR at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Kaufmanfranco

Photo: Rex
I am rolling my eyes so dramatically it hurts.
FREIDA PINTO at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Atelier Versace
Love the color; hate the proportions; the belt is a crime against humanity.
Worst Dressed: JESSICA ALBA at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Roberto Cavalli, purse by Jimmy Choo, shoes by Brian Atwood

Photo: Broadimage/Rex/Shutterstock
Damn. I used the “I’m so bored” gif way too soon. What else can effectively convey my disdain? Oh, I know!
Respond to 2016 Oscars After-Parties: Part 3