Welcome to the hottest after-parties of the year! They’re like the Oscars, only drunker.
Best Dressed: JENNIFER LAWRENCE at the Vanity Fair party
top and skirt by Alexander Wang, shoes by Christian Louboutin
See? This is exactly why Jennifer Lawrence needs to get the hell out of that Dior contract. She looks infinitely cooler, younger, and more like herself in contemporary designers like Alexander Wang. I love the detailing on the cut-outs, and the styling is 100% on point. Would that J.Law could look this effortlessly chic in the clothes that she’s contractually obligated to wear.
Runner-Up: ALICIA VIKANDER at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Louis Vuitton
A simple but spectacular gown, all laid-back cool-girl chicness, accessorized perfectly with the naked gold man in Alicia’s hands.
Honorable Mention: LILY COLLINS at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Saint Laurent, shoes by Stuart Weitzman
You have to be a very particular kind of girl to pull off that baggy bodice, but luckily, Lily is that girl, giving us all the late 20s/early 30s drag we could ever want.
MARISA TOMEI at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Marchesa
An interesting color, a great fit, and some kind of bejeweled belt-like object that somehow makes the entire gown miles more original. Sometimes she fails spectacularly, but I’m always excited to see what Marisa Tomei is going to come up with on the red carpet.
PRIYANKA CHOPRA at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Jenny Packham
I think we may have finally run out of ways to do cut-outs on the red carpet. I actually respect this for being outside the box, and if anyone can pull it off, it’s definitely Priyanka. But I also don’t want to encourage anyone else on earth to wear a center-slitted glittery poncho.
NINA DOBREV at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Elie Saab
It’s undoubtedly a beautiful gown, but the color isn’t great for her, and the purse only makes it worse. The only thing that separates this from any of a million other similar gowns on the red carpet is that pink belt, which I’m not even convinced actually works here.
LILY ALDRIDGE at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Alexandre Vauthier
Wait – are you telling me that a MODEL wore a BLACK CUT-OUT GOWN on the red carpet? I can’t believe it! Surely this has never happened before in the history of fashion! And it definitely hasn’t been done by every single model in the industryin the last eighteen months!
LEA MICHELE at the Elton John party
gown by Pamella Roland
This might be the first time in three years I haven’t had to see Lea’s sternum and/or upper thighs on the red carpet! God bless us everyone!
TINA FEY at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Carolina Herrera
Why does everyone feel they need an extra set of straps on their gowns? Double-straps are the new peplums, aren’t they? They start out as something I don’t mind but don’t quite understand, evolve into something that’s happening so often that it exhausts me, and end up making me apoplectic once they’ve taken over the red carpet completely. Expect a post two years from now that laments, “ARE WE REALLY STILL FUCKING DOING THESE DOUBLE STRAPS?”
SELENA GOMEZ at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Louis Vuitton, purse by Tod’s, shoes by Jimmy Choo
Fashion analogy time! Louis Vuitton : Selena Gomez :: Dior : Jennifer Lawrence. It’s a pairing that just makes the gorgeous young starlet look older and fussier than she has any reason to look. Also, let’s move on from the straightened center-parted hair, yes? Wonderful.
HAILEE STEINFELD at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Elie Saab
When did Hailee Steinfeld become so… basic? I so vividly remember her first major red carpet appearance, at the 2011 SAG Awards. She was 14, fun, and utterly fabulous. I know she’s been doing this game long enough to be tired of it, but she looks like someone’s who’s been on the red carpet for twenty years, not five. I would kill to see her having as much fun with her wardrobe as she used to.
DAISY RIDLEY at the Vanity Fair party
dress by Giambattista Valli, shoes by Jimmy Choo
I usually adore everything Giambattista Valli makes, but this looks like someone used a pastry bag to decorate Daisy’s outfit. I do not approve.
EMMA ROBERTS at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Yanina Couture, purse by Kotur
In all fairness, I would look that terrified if my gown were covered in hairy spiders too.
Worst Dressed: KATE HUDSON at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Maria Lucia Hohan, purse by Oroton, shoes by Brian Atwood
Look, it’s every single one of my least favorite trends, all in one place! Greasy hair, unflattering cut-outs, slits that go up to the vulva, having to hold your purse in front of your crotch because the slit goes up to your vulva, wearing a greenish-gold dress with a yellow-gold purse and brown-gold shoes – this is like the perfect storm of hideousness. And that’s what I can always count on Kate Hudson to provide.