Posts tagged:julianne moore

The Week in Celebrity Fashion

A quick break from the Spring 2011 collections to pop in on our favorite celebs and see who wore what this week.

The Front Rows

Kylie Minogue at the Dolce & Gabbana Spring 2011 show in Milan

You don’t even need to see the full dress to know how fucking good Ms. Minogue looks. The color and texture of that dress are astounding. The Louboutin shoes are killer, her legs look beautiful, and she’s basically glowing. Women half her age could only pray to look so good.

Cat Deeley at the Burberry Prorsum Spring 2011 show in London

Another gorgeous Burberry military jacket? Yes, please! Cat looks totally anglo-chic in her fierce coat, skinny jeans, and boots. Casual enough so she doesn’t look like she’s trying too hard, but effortlessly fashionable at the same time.

Taylor Swift at the Roberto Cavalli Spring 2011 show in Milan

My jaw dropped when I saw this photo. I could never imagine that T-Swift could look so fashionable. Don’t get me wrong, she always looks cute enough, but she’s all about the boring, red carpet-friendly white Grecian gowns, flashy red frocks, and glittery cocktail dresses. She usually dresses the way you’d expect a country-pop tween star to dress. But this is so many things I’ve never seen Taylor be before: urban, fashion-forward, and mature. The blouse and skirt as individual items are only okay, but paired together with that styling, they look totally hip. The textured stockings are beyond gorgeous, and I’d skin a puppy for those boots. The eyeliner is encroaching on Taylor Momsen territory, but the hair is gorgeous. Swifty, your new stylist deserves a bonus!

Rachel Bilson at the Roberto Cavalli Spring 2011 show in Milan

Well, there you go. From head to toe, that’s exactly what I’d like to wear for the rest of my life.

Fugliest Divas

Lea Michele in Jose Duran at the PETA Gala

Well, you can’t win them all. Those triangle boob-toppers are downright awful, as is the puckering on every single seam on this dress. The hem is a disaster, and the stiff fabric looks like it sort of just collapsed on the floor. The cut is unflattering, the dress itself is boring, and LEA! HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING FROM READING MY BLOG? Don’t you know by now NOT TO WEAR DARK TOE NAIL POLISH ON THE RED CARPET?!

Christina Aguilera in Versace at the LACMA Awards

Can someone please tell me when Christina Aguilera turned into the drag version of Christina Aguilera? She’s like a caricature of herself, if that caricature taped his dick back while booty-dropping to “Dirrty” in a seedy gay club.

Best Dressed Nobody

Odette Yustman in J. Mendel at the You Again premiere

This biddie is starring in You Again, which in spite of having Betty White, Kristin Chenoweth and Cloris Leachman in it looks like it may be the worst move of all time. But HELLO, GORGEOUS! Even though it’s basically a carbon copy of the Jason Wu gown Diane Kruger wore to the SAG Awards, it’s still a refreshing look, particularly for a Hollywood noob.

Worst Dressed of the Week

Julianne Moore at the Iconoclasts season five premiere

I have so many questions. Are the pants dirty, or are they supposed to have smudges of white dust all over them? Who wears above-the-ankle strappy shoes with pants that almost reach them? Why are there so many buckles on those pants? What purpose could that possibly serve? Is she wearing a blazer with no shirt underneath? What unfortunate color are her toenails painted? Why do her feet look misshapen, pink, and angry? And why does she seem to have aged fifteen years in the last six months?

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Stay informed on all things fabulous! Don’t miss my coverage of New York Fashion Week, London Fashion Week, and Milan Fashion Week!

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The Worst of the Week in Fashion

Let’s get bitchy.

Repeat Offender

Jessica Alba in Proenza Schouler

Let’s start at the top and work our way down. First off, FIRE YOUR HAIRDRESSER. Actually, fire everyone who saw you before you made it to the red carpet, because someone clearly should have told you that you look like an escaped mental patient. Next, that dress. It’s trashy, it’s Jennifer Lopez circa 2001, and you look like a mom trying to wear her daughter’s dress (and you’re only 28). And the matchy-matchy platform shoes? Honey, no. You look like you’re about to break your ankle, and I can’t say I’m upset about that.

Jessica Alba

I saw the top half of this photo and thought, okay. It doesn’t really seem like her taste, and it definitely doesn’t seem right for a formal event, and that bracelet next to that print is a bit much, but I do like that dress. Then I saw the black tights, and I thought, why? You’ve got nice legs – no need to hide them and make yourself look like a schoolgirl in the process. And then my eyes landed on the shoes, and my head exploded. Jessica, you need to get your life together. Sure, you have no talent and you’re famous for no reason, but you’re a pretty girl. There’s no reason for you to parade around in heels that the tackiest drag queen on Christopher Street wouldn’t even wear. Please, get help soon.

The Wannabe

Beyonce

Beyonce, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. You are not Lady Gaga. You will never be Lady Gaga. You are Beyonce, which is pretty decent – even fantastic, by most people’s standards. You should just try to be the best Beyonce you can be. And this 1940s pinup-girl-on-acid ensemble is something that you will look back on and regret. Like, tomorrow. I don’t care how many videos you do with Gaga – that doesn’t automatically make everything you wear interesting and provocative instead of flat-out ugly. Move on.

The Thoughts of the Sad Woman in this Dress

Julianne Moore

Hi, everybody! Um, so, I know y’all didn’t really go for my over-exaggerated Boston accent when I was on 30 Rock, but I don’t care! Because I’m still young and relevant and awesome! I can smear kohl all around my eyes, just like those little Gossip Girls! Can’t you tell how happy I am to be wearing Miss Piggy’s kimono by this wonderful smile on my face?! And obviously you can tell how fashion-forward I am, because I’m wearing a seatbelt as an accessory on the red carpet! LOOK HOW HAPPY I AM ABOUT ALL OF THIS!! Okay, can I go home now?

Covergirl Gone Bad

 

What, you thought that just because she wore a Christian Siriano gown, I was going to go easy on RiRi this week? Bitch, please. There is so much wrong with this photo. The eyebrows that were drawn on with magic marker. The mouth that in no way resembles Rihanna’s mouth. The wink, which actually just makes her look like she was punched in the face (oof – too soon?). And the body, which sort of looks like she’s got a low-hanging boob coming out of her back, and no tits on her front. I don’t even blame Rihanna for this travesty – it’s not her fault she had dyslexic Photoshoppers who had no desire to make Rihanna actually look like Rihanna on this cover.

Harem Pants Nightmares

It saddens me to be the bearer of such horrible news: Not one, but TWO celebrities wore harem pants to Fashion Week events.

Ashley Olsen in a mistake

It’s a wrinkled, saggy harem jumpsuit, with an Oriental rug draped over it. But at least she got her hair blown out! (Also, her purse might be made of wood, which might be awesome, but I can’t really tell.)

Whitney Port in her pajamas

You know what? If it were finals week, and I was looking for something besides GW sweatpants that I could wear to Gelman and really be comfortable in, and I hadn’t slept in three days, and I was too wired from coffee to think straight… no, sorry. I still wouldn’t wear those God-awful pants. Harem pants are bad enough – but ROBIN’S EGG BLUE HAREM PANTS? With a tucked-in draped T-shirt? DURING FASHION WEEK? I’d start on her makeup, but I’m afraid she might use her magical genie powers to hurt me, so I’ll bite my tongue.

Remember, readers, I ain’t done blogging yet! It’s New York Fashion Week, which means runway shows are happening practically nonstop, so check here soon for what I loved and hated on the runway.

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