The weekly fashion recap is back to actually being weekly! At least until law school starts.
January Jones in Versace
A welcome reminder that you don’t need to be complex or over-the-top to be fashionable, January Jones wears the hell out of this assymetrical white Versace dress and Brian Atwood pumps. Cute hair – casual, but not messy. The shade of lipstick is perfect, and I can’t even believe how blue her eyes are. And the way that dress twists around her is just fascinating. It feels like a high fashion tennis dress. Country club meets red carpet. And I love it.
A Hot Mess… Minus the “Hot”
Eva Mendes in Azzaro
Chloe Sevigny called. She wants the uglier version of her dress from the Met Gala back. At least she has an excuse, being Chloe Sevigny and all. So when I blogged about that dress, I was much more forgiving than I’m going to be towards you. Because if anyone can pull off a butt load of crazy, it’s Nicholette Grant. But you’re Eva Mendes. You’re really boring, and not particularly good at anything, and that dress is fucking stupid. Oh, and it’s July. There’s really no need for long sleeves, high necks, and scarves when the temperature hasn’t dropped below 90 in a month.
The Democracy Diva
Disappointment of the Week
Claire Danes will forever be one of my favorite women, because I have a huge gay crush on her. But unfortunately, my undying love is not enough to stop her from making some truly awful fashion choices. Like this dress. Which, at its core, is some mediocre draping in ugly colors. Then the green ribbon was haphazardly added, making the whole dress look cheap and home-sewn. And after that mess, I guess the designer figured they needed to distract from the look somehow, so he covered Claire’s arm in droopy fabric and called it a day.
Honey, you are too good for this. Hire some new people. And change your toenail polish. Those dark colors always look like fungi on the red carpet.
Best in Bridal: Project Runway Alum Edition
Chloe Dao Bridal 2010
Season 2 Project Runway winner Chloe Dao released her bridal collection this week. Remember, she was the tiny Asian one, with the red-headed model who was easily a foot taller than her? They were such an adorable pair, Chloe and Grace. Anyway, I’m glad to see she’s still designing, and particularly designing bridal wear. She’s no genius, but she’s got some interesting ideas and strong technical skills.
And this is such a sweet little bridal dress. Beautifully draped, so it feels like a flower instead of a dress. The volume on the bottom is just big enough to make a statement, but not so big that it’s unwearable. Super cute, very chic, and an overall adorable dress.
Sex on a Stick
Sofia Vergara in Lela Rose
Hello, gorgeous! The sexy mama from Modern Family is all tits and legs in this fabulous little blue number. I don’t love the way it cuts across her tummy – I think it could be cut in a more flattering way – but I like the subtle drape of the skirt. The color is by far the best thing about this dress – it just calls even more attention to the most beautiful woman in the room. It’s a bit too push-up for Vergara’s already busty frame – I think it just makes her tits look fake as opposed to naturally perky – but she just always looks like she’s having a great time, and I love how refreshingly normal she seems. Oh, and she’s hilarious, too.
You know, Kim Kardashian may be totally useless and famous for no reason, but I’ve seen photos of her without makeup, and she’s actually gorgeous. Kim, please listen to the wisdom that the Democracy Diva is about to impart upon you. I promise, I am only here to help.
- That slicked-back hair needs to go. You shouldn’t aim for hair like a Ken doll – your hair should look like, well, hair. And while we’re on the subject, what’s with the extra-long ponytail? Just get a haircut.
- I hate denim jackets in general. But an acid-washed denim jacket – that looks as if it is intentionally made to appear inside-out? Thumbs down, Kim. Also, shrunken jackets are not that flattering on your figure.
- Skin-tight may be a style, but you’re just walking down the street. Does everything you wear need to be so binding all the time? Not that it’s necessarily bad, I would just get really uncomfortable – not to mention sweaty.
- Beware of those eyebrows – they’re already in a very surprised shape, and if you over-tweeze them anymore, you’re going to look like you’ve had a bad Botox job.
- Lay off the pancake makeup! You really don’t need it. You have amazing eyes, beautiful lips, and a cute nose. There’s no need to put on stage makeup for a walk down the street in the middle of July. Just let a little more of your natural beauty shine, and you might actually look like a human.
With Great Films Comes Great Fashion: Inception
Ellen Page in Helmut Lang
Obviously when you’re in a hugely anticipated movie with Leonardo DiCaprio, you’re basically required to have a fabulous new stylist make sure that you look amazing at every premiere. This is our dear Juno at the French premiere of Inception (which I just saw with Nate, and we highly recommend it). And she looks so casually terrific, as if to say, “Who me? Oh, I’ve always looked this fierce, you just weren’t paying attention.” Well, Ellen, I congratulate you and your new stylist on a job well done. Sexy dress, great fit, great print. Smoky and dark and interesting. The hair is cute, though I’d trim those side-bangs a bit, I think it would angle your face better. But keep it up, girl.
Marion Cotillard in Christian Dior
A beautiful woman in a beautiful dress, but I don’t know who told her to wear those sandals. They have nothing to do with the rest of the outfit. Just a simple black pump would’ve been fine. But let’s remember, ladies, you’re never fully dressed without some bling. No earrings OR bracelet OR necklace? Come on, Marion. Don’t be afraid to accessorize.