The Week in Fashion

Glee Does Comic-Con

 

Heather (Brittany): I’m not loving those bangs; I think her signature Cheerios high ponytail is much more flattering. The outfit is cute enough, if a bit amateurish.

Kevin (Artie): This boy can sing, dance, act, and DRESS. I wish other young actors took the risks that Kevin takes with his wardrobe. The shirt is stunning, the suspenders are adorable, and he looks unique and chic, if a bit over-dressed for Comic-Con. I’m loving it.

Naya (Santana): Can’t go wrong in a cute floral sundress. Effortless and adorable.

Amber (Mercedes): Cute top and sweater, but it’d look a thousand times better without that belt.

Chris (Kurt): He’s a self-professed comic book geek, so I’m glad he’s showing his roots at this event. But I think he could have paired this outfit with something a little more fashion-forward, since he usually dresses incredibly well.

Jenna (Tina): Adorable dress, great hair. And the nude shoes trend is super-hot right now, so kudos for catching on.

Love the Girl, Hate the Dress

 

Like the Democracy Diva, Anna Kendrick loves her some Marchesa. (The starlet donned Marchesa at the 2010 Golden Globes, at the Eclipse LA premiere, at the Up in the Air Toronto premiere, and more.) Unlike the Diva, Ms. Kendrick doesn’t seem to understand that some Marchesa dresses work far better on the runway than they do on the red carpet. This is one of them.

The lopsided bust, which I’m sure would work fabulously on a 6 foot tall, size zero model, is just unfortunate on Kendrick’s petite frame. The black beading against the blue print isn’t particularly attractive, nor are the proportions of the dress, which make Anna look short and squat instead of long and lean. And those shoes? What drag queen told my girl Fritzy to wear those shoes – especially with that dress? A rookie mistake. And once again, I’d like to remind young Hollywood: If your hair is up and your dress is low-cut, WEAR A NECKLACE. I’m disappointed by her lack of bling. But I do love Anna Kendrick, and I hope she bounces back from this fashion mishap quickly.

The Best and Worst of Biel

Jessica Biel in Giambattista Valli

I’ve never thought Jessica was as beautiful as most people seem to think she is. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a hottie for sure, but she’s got awfully harsh features and she lacks the poise needed to pull off high fashion gowns. But I’m eating my words from the neck down, because I think she looks incredible here, at the London premiere of The A-Team. I normally don’t support sheer gowns on the red carpet, but I can forgive it because this particular gown is just stunning. It fits her remarkably well, making her waist look tinier and her boobs look bigger – and she had a great figure to begin with! I would’ve done black shoes instead of red, but they’re still a good choice. And let’s hear it for a girl who isn’t afraid to bring out the bling. Loving those bracelets.

Now, the hair is a hot mess. How many times do I have to say this – you can’t go all-out with the dress and skimp on the hair and make-up! That frizzy bedhead is not appropriate for such a beautiful gown. But I still give her props for a remarkable effort.

Jessica Biel in Atelier Versace

Well, she’s back to looking stiff and uncomfortable on the red carpet, which is a huge step down. Not that she looked particularly cosy in the Valli gown, but there’s something very cold and unnatural about her in this Versace gown. The gown itself is beautiful, but I just don’t think she’s wearing it well. I think it’s a bit too ornate and vintage-looking for her tastes – she’s very sportswear, Americana, bold colors and simplicity. This gown is anything but. And those shoes were a horrible choice. Whoever invented the teardrop-shaped eyelet peeptoe should obviously be shot. And the silver shoe with the blue dress is very mother-of-the-bride. I’d love to see this dress on Anne Hathaway or another starlet with more traditional, glitzy tastes (and the poise to pull them off), but something about this gown on Jessica just isn’t working for me.

Jessica Biel in Vionnet

It’s a shame, because she looks so much more at ease here, but she’s wearing a glorified potato sack. That sleeve is simply dreadful – unless your arm is in a sling, there’s really no need for that much fabric on the sleeve. And the dress itself is shapeless and dull, like a poorly-made toga. Those shoes look navy, and even if they’re black, they’re clearly not the right black for that dress. And I hate the way the fabric gathers around her waist – it’s unflattering and downright sloppy. Definitely the worst out of the three.

Fergie Fug

Fergie

Now headlining in Vegas: Fergie, the alien warrior princess turned stripper! Oh, Fergie, you can wear whatever the fuck you want, just please stop making music.

Also, it is just me, or does her head seem unnaturally large? Seriously, she looks like a Bratz doll.

Delhi Couture Week 2010

 

Congrats to Delhi on hosting their first ever couture fashion week! I encourage you to check out Tom & Lorenzo for more pics from the runway show; everything is so beautiful and so different from Western fashion.

This couture gown by Manav Gagwani is simply magnificent. I love that you can feel the Indian influence, but you can also see that the designer was inspired by Italian and French couture as well. Every single fabric used is breathtaking. The glitz and glamour of the shiny, glittering fabrics and lace is almost overwhelming. I love the different colors used – iced periwinkles and lilacs, lavenders and silvers. Everything about this gown screams couture. I look forward to many more Delhi Couture Weeks in the future!

The Rapidly Aging Cameron

 

I ask because I care: Cameron, what the fuck is happening with your face? This is clearly a bad Botox job or worse – the skin is pulled awfully tight in some places, while other spots appear swollen and puffy. That can’t be intentional, and it doesn’t seem natural, either. But if you’re going to let your face fall to pieces, at least sport a fabulous outfit to detract from your train-wrecked skin. This sad lump of fabric is not doing you any favors. It has no shape, making you look unfortunately bulbous. Sure, you’ve got killer legs, but this outfit hides your bust, waist, and hips, like you’re just a misshapen potato on two legs. Fire your plastic surgeon and your stylist immediately. You might be 37, but you’ve got the potential to look 30, and right now you’re leaning towards 50.

God Bless America

 

Business chic all the way for Ms. Ferrera! The dress is adorable and professional, flattering and youthful. Though I do need to give her my lecture on NO DARK TOE-NAIL POLISH ON THE RED CARPET. Ugh. The make-up artist was a little heavy-handed, but America looks absolutely radiant, and every professional woman should own a dress like this. Also, that hair is hella sexy.

Worst Dressed

Blake Lively in Preen

Oh, Serena. I know your career goals are to bare as much of your tits as possible on every red carpet, but you have broken the two Golden Rules of Public Titty-Baring:

1. Thou shalt not show any part of the nipple. (This includes even the slightest bit of mysterious skin that seems areola-esque.)

2. Thou shalt not neglect the rest of the outfit just because the titties are bared.

That top is so naked, it looks like it must be on backwards. And those pants? Seriously? We’re wearing high-waisted, wrinkled baggy pants now? Because I simply refuse to support that. And what’s with the shoes? The pants cover up the top ankle strap – that’s clearly not a good sign. And the belt was just a mistake. Aren’t belts supposed to like, wrap around you? Not just poke out awkwardly? Though I guess you can use it as a weapon to fight any comic book geeks who can’t stop staring at your almost nipple. Oh, and brush your hair, for God’s sake. And lose the eight different kinds of bracelets, you look like a tween after a shopping spree at Claire’s.

Best Dressed

 

Hello, Peggy! This is by far the best Ms. Moss has ever looked. She donned this glitzy and glamorous dress for the premiere screening of Mad Men‘s season four in Times Square. The hair is absolutely amazing – thank god we’re saying fairwell to Miss Olson’s signature ponytail! The curly bob is totally chic and works wonders for her features. And the dress! The perfect color, a wonderful fit, and a phenomenal choice for Elisabeth. I love the sassy smile on her face, as if she’s thinking, “Bitches, the days of Peggy the ugly ducking are OVER! This is Elisabeth Moss, glamour queen! Bow down!” I’m looking forward to seeing more like this from the adorable Ms. Moss.

Follow this diva on twitter @democracydiva! And don’t forget to check out my guest blog post with Backstage Barbie!

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Recap: Project Runway Season 8, Episode 1

Check out yesterday’s liveblog of the premiere for my at-the-moment thoughts on all 90 minutes of the episode. Already read it? Well, get ready for the bitchiness that comes with a) seeing things a second time and b) seeing close-up photos. And don’t forget – click on the photos themselves. They’ll take you to the Lifetime website where you can see way more details on the garments. Here we go!

AJ's design, front

AJ's design, side

AJ's design, back

Overview: This was my personal favorite look of the night, which should come as no surprise to my most faithful readers. What do I love more than tight bodices with poofy, erratically draped crinoline skirts? Sure, AJ took quite a few pages out of the Marchesa/Vera Wang cocktail dress books in creating this design, but it’s nonetheless eye-catching and intriguing.

Styling: The hair is a bit too lopsided on top for my tastes, but still wild and ferocious. Perfect make-up, good shoes, and an absolutely killer necklace make this dress look more high fashion.

Idea vs. Execution: The back of the skirt is a big sloppy mess, but what more can you really expect in five hours? I think the fact that the bodice fits her well and the proportions are working is impressive, given the constraints.

Judges’ Vote: AJ was one of many middle-of-the-road entries this week, according to the PR judges.

Andy's design, front

Andy's design, back

Overview: It’s certainly daring and risky; the drama of Andy’s design reminds me of Christian Siriano. The outfit sort of works when the cape is on, but when it comes off, we run into some serious problems.

Styling: The dramatic hair, hair accessories, and eye make-up reinforce Andy’s message that this is SOMETHING TO LOOK AT. But whoever this woman is, I don’t see her wearing those cuffed boots.

Idea vs. Execution: Most designers can’t make pants in two days, let alone five hours. I think Andy deserves some probs just for making so many different pieces. But the fabric of the pants stretches oddly over the model’s crotch, and from behind, the effect is even worse. The pants are too tight and don’t flatter her butt, and I hate that little peek of flesh between the bottom of the shirt and the top of the pants; it’s incredibly distracting. And clearly the sloping hems of the back of the shirt were meant to look more symmetrical.

Judges’ Vote: In.

April's design, front

April's design, side

Overview: A near disaster, from styling to concept to implementation.

Styling: The hair (and, to a lesser degree, the makeup) scream 1986. Also, the side pony is not the best hairstyle for a model with the biggest ears since Dumbo. Seriously, those things are HUGE!

Idea vs. Execution: I don’t support anyone who thinks they can just turn a jacket inside out, cut off the sleeves, and say they designed something. I think the idea was lazy at best, and the execution was clearly a nightmare. Heidi said it best when she questioned whether the unfinished look is actually what April was aiming for, or if she just can’t sew. But even if you’re going for a deconstructed look, you have to construct something. This outfit has a slanted hem; that same hem is unfinished and stringy. The shoulders are frayed and unfinished, as is the neckline of both the dress and the jacket/vest. From the side view, we see that the bottom of the jacket/vest is also unfinished. So tell us, April… What did you finish?

Judges’ Vote: 6th from the bottom – Heidi called this look “a hot mess.” Bad enough to be in the bottom of the barrel, but the first one of the pack to be told, “you’re in.”

Casanova's design, front

Casanova's design, side

Casanova's design, back

Overview: Hello sideboob, my old friend. We’ve seen a lot of naked on the runway before, but outside of bathing suit, lingerie, and female wrestling costume challenges, this may be the most scantily clad model in Project Runway history.

Styling: Excellent hair and make-up – wild and natural, like the queen of the jungle this sexy woman must be.

Idea vs. Execution: If Casanova’s idea was to make a dress that no woman could possibly feel comfortable wearing in public, then he executed that terrible idea perfectly. In the episode, it seemed as if Casanova knew that this dress would be quite revealing – at least, he refuted Tim’s comment about it possibly being vulgar, which is exactly what it turned out to be. But putting aside the question of taste, I hate the way that fabric is draped in the back. There’s something very toga/diaper about it, and while the print of the bottom layer of the skirt is fabulous, the dirty, washed-out colors of the other fabrics are just ugly.

Judges’ Vote: Bottom 3. After kicking off the loser, the judges kept Casanova and Ivy on to torture them just a bit more, but eventually let them stay.

Christopher's design

Overview: Christopher was giving a good piece of clothing to start with (basically the entire patterned fabric of the dress), but dolled it up and edited it with a keen eye for detail.

Styling: Not loving the gold bag when the fabric on the dress is tan, and I think a summery shoe would have worked better. But none of it distracted from the look itself.

Idea vs. Execution: The top is a bit lopsided and not quite symmetrical, but the rouching of the collar was pretty nicely done and the belted element is well-made and flattering.

Judges’ Vote: In.

Gretchen's design, front

Gretchen's design, back

Overview: Simple but beautiful, elegant, conservative evening wear.

Styling: The lips and cheeks are far too bright, bordering on whorish. And those shoes definitely throw off the proportion of the outfit.

Idea vs. Execution: The fit is pretty excellent. When fittings are hurried, loose garments like this can just look baggy and saggy, but Gretchen did an excellent job. And the back of the skirt is very nicely constructed. The shoulder appliques look a little amateurish, but overall, Gretchen’s execution was very strong.

Judges’ Vote: Gretchen is the winner! Congratulations, darling.

Ivy's design, front

Ivy's design, back

Overview: Every year, there’s a loudmouth bitch I can’t stand, and this season the award already goes to Ivy. I hated her before I saw her lack of design skills, but once I realized that she, as Heidi repeatedly said, “made pants out of pants,” I was done.

Styling: Ivory purse, nude shoes, and white pants? No, no, no.

Idea vs. Execution: What idea? She made pants out of pants. You can rouch them all you like, but don’t pretend you actually designed any of that. In fact, the only part of the look Ivy did design was that God-awful top, which clearly has some serious construction issues. The front is just completely unflattering and poorly fitted. The bow in the back could be nice, if the hanging pieces of fabric were actually the same length. And what an unforgiving choice of fabric – it just puckers and wrinkles all over the place, particularly from the back.

Judges’ Vote: Bottom 3, but ultimately safe, along with Casanova. But in my opinion, Ivy deserved to go home.

Jason's design, front

Jason's design, back

Overview: Escaped mental patient goes to the hair salon? What was Jason thinking?!

Styling: Hard to say, since the outfit itself is so nonsensical. That over-the-top punk/whore look may work with some outfits, but it couldn’t save this train wreck.

Idea vs. Execution: Failure on both parts. Look at the second picture – doesn’t it just look like she’s wearing a kimono backwards? THAT’S BECAUSE SHE IS. If that’s not laziness, I don’t know what is. And the construction is even worse. Pins everywhere, awful seams, accidental asymmetry, and no shape to it whatsoever.

Judges’ Vote: 4th from the bottom. Saved by the bowler hat.

Kristin's design

Overview: Boring. Cute scarf, though.

Styling: Again, pretty boring. Not a fan of those clog-like heels or the Princess Leia hair.

Idea vs. Execution: Simple idea, fine execution. This is an example of how to best use deconstruction without looking sloppy – the scarf is frayed and unfinished, but the rest of the dress is much more tailored.

Judges’ Vote: In. You can leave the runway.

McKell's design, front

McKell's design, back

Overview: Tacky, tacky, tacky. One wrong choice after another, this dress is a textbook Monet. (Props to those who caught the Clueless reference.)

Styling: So bad, it was basically the reason McKell was eliminated. That hair is awful from the front and downright disastrous from the back. The pink purse is awful – the judges were right to call McKell out for her inability to style her model.

Idea vs. Execution: The idea was precious – even Tim agreed – but the execution was where she failed. The fit is wrong, the proportions are terrible, the front is much shorter than the back, we’ve got some sideboob issues… do I really need more?

Judges’ Vote: Auf wiedersehen, McKell. Enjoy Utah and your new baby.

Michael C's design, front

Michael C's design, back

Overview: It’s borderline prostitute wear, but it’s bold and has a point of view all the same. And just a general note – why do so many of these models have tattoos? Ladies, isn’t it your job to be a blank canvas? Isn’t it expensive for magazines and such to airbrush those tattoos out? I’m just surprised so many of them are donning ink; I’d think it would be more taboo.

Styling: Basic black accessories were a good choice, as was the simple and chic hair. Modern, funky, cool.

Idea vs. Execution: A tight black miniskirt isn’t exactly a novel idea, but it serves its purpose (though the seam in back is problematic). The shirt is okay from the front, but has some fit issues with the straps in the back. Not particularly well-made and not particularly innovative, but not a completely fuck-up, either.

Judges’ Vote: In.

Michael D's design, front

Michael D's design, back

Overview: I’m not sure who’s wearing this, but it’s certainly interesting and fairly well-made. At first glance, I had a strong distaste for it, but it’s one of those dresses where the more you look at it, the more you like it.

Styling: Minimalist in a good way.

Idea vs. Execution: I think this dress is executed quite well, particularly the hood/cowl piece in the back. I like that someone is utilizing such a strong Native American perspective – the beadwork, the colors, and the general effect is unique and quite lovely. The big, baggy sleeves are not my cup of tea, but otherwise, it’s a job well done.

Judges’ Vote: In.

Mondo's design

Overview: Unique fabric choice – I like the combination of the pattern with a surprising solid color. It holds my interest, even though the silhouette of the dress is quite simple.

Styling: Who still does pin-straight hair? But it does work for this outfit. The orange purse is a nice touch, but I’d have gone a little more low-key on the shoes.

Idea vs. Execution: Clearly, this has some execution issues. There’s puckering everywhere, and it seems uncomfortably tight in some areas and fairly loose in others. But everybody needs a basic dress in a funky color and print; with more time, I think this could have been something really interesting.

Judges’ Vote: In.

Nicholas's design, front

Nicholas's design, back

Overview: Oy. A hot disaster if there ever was one, I can’t get behind any part of this dress. To me, this is what the most evil brides in the world reserve for their bridesmaids – a dress no one, no matter how hot, will look good in.

Styling: Minimalist. Should’ve done a bit more – it’s quite empty.

Idea vs. Execution: The idea was brilliant: sportswear meets formal wear. But the execution was a total nightmare. From fit to fabric choice to proportions, this is just one sad sack of a dress. The only piece that works is the neckline; all the little sportswear features look far too craftsy and amateurish for the runway. And that length? A nightmare.

Judges’ Vote: 5th from the bottom. Saved from a worse fate because his ideas were strong and creative, even if he couldn’t implement them.

Peach's design, front

Peach's design, side

Overview: Hated it at first, but I’m coming around. Another cute, simple dress with nothing particularly interesting going on. Let’s just say these bitches better bring their A-game next week, because I’m not about to stand for any more simply little sundresses. But there’s not glaring problems with this garment. Except the model, who looks about 45. Seriously, Project Runway, how hard is it to find good models? Half these bitches couldn’t even walk. I’m five feet tall and I can stomp harder than them. Get it together.

Styling: The hair is simple, almost dated. I’d have gone a little more adventurous.

Idea vs. Execution: From the front, the execution looks pretty damn good, save for a few rough edges in the hemline. But the side angle shows that the red piping stops a little bit before the rest of the dress actually stops, which is a pretty glaring mishap. But the fit is nice, and the halter top is pretty great.

Judges’ Vote: In.

Sarah's design, front

Sarah's design, side

Overview: Another design that I hated at first glance, but am coming around to. Definitely a unique concept and silhouette with intriguing color choices. Like it or not, it certainly stood out on the runway.

Styling: Great. Casual but sexy hair, and I love the way the purple lipstick matches the purple shoes. Very nice touch.

Idea vs. Execution: You know how I feel about rompers, jumpers, and any kind of one-piece items, but this really is adorable. The short-shorts are super-flatting, and I love the flash of bright blue we see when the model turns to the side. The buttons on the sides of the shorts are super-cute, the jacket is well-made, and I’m really enjoying the proportions of it all, even though it’s so shrunken. But I think it’s definitely one of the better-made pieces of the bunch.

Judges’ Vote: In.

Valerie's design, front

Overview: It feels very art-school to me, which is basically the worst insult Tim Gunn can hurl at any given designer. Everything from the boob swatches to the color blocking feels a bit contrived and immature to me, but it’s definitely not hopeless.

Styling: Very basic, understated. A good choice, considering this is a busy dress.

Idea vs. Execution: There are definitely some glaring construction issues. The hem is quite uneven, the belt area is puckering, and the little boob-shields are distracting and not particularly body-conscious. But I do admire her use of color – not just color, but three different and unusual colors that we don’t often see together. And the zippers in the skirt are a very cute touch. This is another garment that I honestly believe could have been excellent, had the designers been given more time.

Judges’ Vote: In.


And there you have it, folks! Don’t forget to check back in on Saturday afternoon/evening for the weekly fashion recap. And follow me on twitter @democracydiva!

Liveblogging the Project Runway Season 8 Premiere!

9:01 pm: I already don’t like this Ivy (Ivory?) girl because of her over-use of the word “luxurious.” But I’m loving me some Puerto Rican Casanova! He’s “taking New York from the balls!” So cute.

9:02: Already loving Sarah. Her portfolio is adorable and she seems really funky. And AJ is the token cute young queer, so I’m obviously already obsessed.

9:03: A 50-year-old named Peach? Well, at least she just used the phrase “ladies who lunch” in a non-ironic sense, which is pretty hilarious.

9:04: A Utah girl with dreads who designs fun and funky dresses? I dig you, girl. But I care little to nothing about your sob story. Everybody has kids, bitch.

9:05: No, Kristin, you cannot have a crooked zipper. That’s not eclectic, that’s just you being a shitty designer. And Jason honey, if you think your bowler hat and awkwardly fat tie are going to intimidate people, you are sadly mistaken. Also, “What nationality are you?” What kind of question is that?

9:07: Ivy, I can see through that fake-ass smile. You’re clenching so hard I’m afraid you’re just going to spontaneously combust. (Actually, I sort of hope you do.)

9:09: AJ, stop hitting on Michael. “And where are you from?!” Friendly much? It’s the first day, boy. Back off a touch.

9:10: Heidi and Tim are in the house!! I’m not a fan of Heidi’s bangs, but Tim looks perfect as per usual. Also, the first challenge is… still part of the audition. We’re nixing someone on the first day? Love that shit. These bitches are sweating!

9:16: We’re back from the break, and all the designers have to pull out one item from their suitcases to incorporate into their garment. My response would be “Bitch, these are MY clothes. Fuck this shit; I’m going to Mood.”

9:17: Not only do you have to lose almost literally the shirt off your back, but some OTHER biddy is gonna cut it up? Poor Casanova and his one thousand dollar pants!!

9:18: Gretchen, I can already tell you’re going to be the boring one. Why are the designers from Portland always so… dull?

9:19: The Brother sewing room looks way more fabulous than it did last season. And I’m liking all the tech improvements. Those fancy computer sketch pads are pretty darn nifty.

9:21: Gretchen, don’t you use “make it work” in that sarcastic little tone. You do not mock Mr. Gunn, aight bitch?

9:23: Casanova, I want to like you, but that little choad of a tie you’re wearing is too distracting.

9:28: Tim is sporting a striped purple tie over a striped lavender shirt! A difficult look to pull off, but of course The Smokin’ Gunn rocks it.

9:30: April started with a men’s tuxedo jacket, and turned it inside out to make it an ugly vest. Or that’s where things stand at the moment, anyway.

9:31: Valerie, you’re just a bit of a cunt, aren’t you? Also Jason, putting a scarf over a kimono does not make it… not a kimono.

9:32: Peach is making an apron and doing a whole lot of whining.

9:33: Mondo is definitely an awkward bird, but I kind of dig his vibe. And you have to love that Tim Gunn’s job allows him to say sentences such as, “The cap sleeve is worrying me.”

9:39: TEN MINUTES to fit the models? Damn, PR producers! You guys are not kidding around this season!

9:40: Ivy, I get that you’re all energetic and ambitious and fast-paced, but could you just like shut the fuck up for a little bit?

9:41: Jason, if you can’t control your hard-on around a naked model, then you are not ready to be a fashion designer. I don’t care if she’s busty; I don’t care if she has three vaginas – be a fucking professional.

9:42: “Maybe something sort of whimsical? But nothing like a drag queen.” That basically describes my life.

9:43: Kristin, did you FORGET about your MODEL? Honeyyyy. That is not a good sign. Also, everyone, stop saying you’re “not on the show yet.” I don’t care if there’s a day-one elimination – you’re talking to the camera. I’m watching you on television. Clearly, you’re on the show.

9:44: I’m digging Utah Dredlocks so far. Seems like she’s being edited to be the winner. And Casanova is edited to be the loser, quite obviously.

9:49: Time for the runway show! Heidi is looking fierce and being sneaky about how many are actually going home.

9:51: They couldn’t find someone more relevant than Selma fucking Blair to be the guest judge? Come on.

Valerie’s Dress: Grey and pink, model can barely walk, the dress seems poorly constructed but has a cute design.

Peach: Boring in design, but very well-structured for only five hours. Not crazy about the back, don’t think she used enough of the original material.

McKell: A little sluttier than I expected – the shortness and the shiny fabric are not my taste, but it’s certainly cute and youthful.

Andy: How the fuck did he make a full, dramatic outfit in five hours?!

Sarah: Another model who can’t walk. In a sad little booty-shorts romper.

Nicholas: Awful purple bridesmaid nightmare with a fugly zipper.

Mondo: Cute dress, modern, youthful, surprising use of different fabrics.

Ivy: Not seeing how the top and bottoms go together, but it’s hard to make any kind of pant in 5 hours, so mad props to her.

Michael C: Looks like something the cheapest hooker in the world would wear.

Kristin: I love that kilt-collar, and that skirt has some seriously cool draping.

Christopher: Cute. Well-constructed.

April: UGLY. Ugly. Ugly. Did I mention how fucking ugly it is? Every hem is destroyed, and not in an intentional-looking way.

Gretchen: Classy and fabulous. The back is really surprising and unique.

Michael D: Ugly hippie-chick shirt. Hate the draping in the back.

Jason: There’s something mental-patient looking at her. She looks like she’s wearing a robe they give you at the hair salon.

AJ: Very cute, very Democracy Diva taste. Definitely one of my favorites.

Casanova: BITCH IS NAKED. That bitch is so naked! Honey, that ain’t even a bathing suit. That is HELLA NAKED.

9:58: The runway show is over! AJ, Andy, Valerie, Sarah, Peach, Kristin, Michael C, Mondo, Michael D, Christopher – all these people are SAFE! Congrats, kiddies. And stop fucking crying.

9:59: We’re bringin’ out the models. They picked a clear, unanimous winner… and it’s Gretchen. I can’t deny them that one; her dress is totally chic, modern and retro at the same time. I understand why the judges love it – I’m a fan as well. And I don’t think you’re boring anymore, honey. Sorry I judged you for not wearing make-up, having weird bangs, and being from Portland.

10:06: Ivy Interrogation. She’s talking about details and embellishments, but I didn’t realize she literally just re-used the pants and added a bit of rouching. And my biggest pet peeve is when designers argue with the judges on the runway – particularly when it’s the first damn week! And Selma Blair is pretty funny in her sassy comments.

10:07: Jason and his mental patient. Oh, and Heidi said she looks like she’s wearing a hairdressing cape, which I just said like five minutes ago. Great minds, Ms. Klum. But Jason, don’t pretend like you’re gonna get out of this one alive.

10:08: April and her fugly jacket-turned-vest. I agree with Heidi – when people go “raw” and “unfinished,” I also wonder if that just means “I just can’t fucking sew.” I also agree with Heidi that “this is just a hot mess!” And honeys, we know you only had five hours. Some people still made it work.

10:10: McKall. I guess dreadlocks is not pegged to be the winner after all. But I hate this derss the more I see it. This dress is ugly, the styling is tacky… I don’t know why they cut to the judges making really happy faces when this walked down the runway.

10:11: Nicholas and his sadsack bridesmaid. Agreed with Nina that the concept is good, but the end result is very weak. And if one more bitch complains about the time… Jesus. I don’t want to hear it.

10:12: Casanova and his naked, naked, naked girl. “Mother of the bride who’s the belly-dancer… She’s a pole-dancer in Dubai.” Oh, Michael Kors and your one-liners.

10:13: Nina is speaking Spanish! So darling. But like… was that scripted? Because Casanova speaks pretty fine English, and understood everything else that was said… so I’m not sure why he needed a translator. But it was still adorable.

10:14: Michael is debating whether Ivy has any taste or talent. I think she can talk the talk, but bitch cannot walk the walk.

10:15: Don’t try to defend Casanova’s design by saying it’s “out of the box” and “weird” and “makes you react.” It’s just, in the age-old words of Michael, “slutty, slutty, slutty.”

10:16: They like the styling of Jason’s hair salon gown? Ughhh. Disagree. And I agree that April has a modern take, but let’s not defend her poor styling and complete lack of execution skills.

10:17: McKall should be knocked off just for choosing such horrible hair and accessories, no? Nicholas made the most boring dress I’ve ever seen, but they’re right that he did make a well-constructed garment in five hours, which is pretty damn epic.

10:18: Heidi is telling everyone to feel unsafe. Honey, you do not need to tell me twice.

10:23: My prediction: Jason and Ivy are going home.

10:24: April is in. Nicholas is in. (I like how thankful he is. Very sweet.) And I’m at least half wrong, because Jason is in.

10:25: How many times are they going to say “you made pants out of pants?”

10:26: Aww, McKall is out. I knew she got too much screen time not to be a winner or loser.

10:27: Ivy and Casanova are both… IN?! I disagree, Heidi. If anybody deserved to go home, it’s Ivy. Don’t keep her on just because she’s a bitch and you like having “characters” on the show.

10:28: I love Tim Gunn. I can never say it enough. The 16 that are left are moving in to a FABULOUS place. Loving the stripes on the walls.

10:29: Oh, hi, Christopher. I literally don’t even remember you being on the show yet, and here you are getting all the last two minutes of screen time.

And next week looks like it’s going to be a doozy!

Haven’t had your fill of fabulous yet? Well, as soon as photos from the runway show are posted, I’ll be doing a recap post about it, so tune in tomorrow, ladies!

Diva’s Choice: The Modern Victorian Bride

Christian Dior Fall 2005 couture gown

Where the traditional meets the modern, this dress resides. The floral motif as old as the institution of marriage itself, pink flowers cascade down this gown. The bodice and skirt are wrapped and draped beautifully; still voluminous and powerful as a Victorian-era pride, but in ivorys, pinks, and golds. And the matching gloves are spectacular – a must for any formal affair. The shoes that tie in a bow around her ankles are precious, and I can’t stop staring at the color of the dress itself.  A sort of dirty, dingy take on traditional bridal colors, but still keeping the overall look soft and feminine. But I love the way the skirt gathers and hangs like the bride has a skirt of smoke billowing around her. It seems delicate and angelic. Not to mention tip-top couture perfection.


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Diva’s Choice: The Sweaterdress

Ralph Lauren Black Label cashmere sweaterdress, $855

I live for sweaterdresses. When it’s wintertime, you’ll be hard-pressed to find the Democracy Diva in anything other than a sweaterdress and tights. But I’d never need to buy another sweaterdress again if I had this sexy number from Ralph Lauren’s Black Label. The perfect length – hits right at the knee, so you don’t have to freeze your buns off in a mini-dress when it’s eleven degrees out. Slim-fitting and curve-hugging, so you still feel sexy even though the look is so simple. Three-quarter sleeves, because let’s be honest, everybody loves a good three-quarter sleeve. And the crossover bodice is just classically beautiful. (Though you might need to bring a scarf if you’re actually wearing this in the wintertime, because that neckline, while beautiful, also seems conducive to pneumonia.)

But what makes this dress truly perfect is its timelessness. I could see Audrey Hepburn in it; I could see Emma Watson in it. Because perfectly fitted, simple dresses in classic colors never go out of style.

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Diva’s Choice: The Ballerina Skirt

Donna Karan skirt, $1995

I’ve yet to feature a skirt on Diva’s Choice, but when I saw this fabulous little number, I knew she deserved the spotlight. With or without the signature black tights and leotard, this ruffled skirt from Donna Karan is clearly fit for a ballerina. (At two grand for the skirt, 800 for the leotard, and 52 for the tights, it’s clearly fit for the world’s wealthiest ballerina, but I digress.)

There’s something so wonderful about twirling around in a girly, tutu-esque skirt. And whether you’ve got legs for days like this model or an actual human’s body, you’re bound to look super-cute in such a skirt – and super-sexy in this particular skirt. The ruffles spiral around the skirt, alternating between silk organza and wool velour, making an adorable skirt into something intriguing and creative. And of course the black eliminates some of the little-girl factor and adds an element of funk. But whether you’re throwing on combat boots and a bomber jacket for a gritty-meets-pretty, punk rock prom queen vibe, or you’re donning a crisp button-down, a colorful cardigan, and fabulous heels, every woman is a ballerina in this skirt.

Glee Does Rocky Horror!

Well, kittens, it seems as though all of my dreams have come true. Ryan Murphy announced yesterday that next season of Glee will feature a Rocky Horror-themed episode. As a Rocky expert (I dare you to challenge me on that) and Glee fanatic, this is basically the biggest news in my life right now (sad but true). So without further ado, I present my dream casting for the episode – who I think should sing what song and why. Now, these are not predictions, mainly because I trust my own judgment better than that of Glee‘s producers. I do not expect Glee to always make the right choices; sadly, they have yet to hire me, so clearly they will be ill-equipped to make the proper decisions regarding their Rocky Horror episodes. But should they choose to come to their senses, they need not look any further than the Democracy Diva.

Song: “Science Fiction, Double Feature”
Who should sing it: Brittany and Santana (Heather Morris and Naya Rivera)
Likelihood: 2/10
Why: A sexy, sultry song fit for a true alto, “Science Fiction, Double Feature” is the opening number in The Rocky Horror Picture Show, actually sung by a man (Richard O’Brien, the film’s creator/resident creeper Riff Raff) but portrayed in the film by the iconic red lips of a woman (the lips belong to Patricia Quinn, who plays Magenta).

The song is basically just a list of sci-fi references, so I think the odds of this making it into the Glee episode are pretty much nil. It doesn’t have the sort of climax that most Glee songs have, nor will it forward the plot in any way. But I think if they arranged it as a sexy duet between our two resident bicurious cheerleaders, it would be unstoppable. Plus, Naya Rivera’s deep rasp is perfect for this number.

Song: “Time Warp”
Who should sing it: Artie (Kevin McHale) as Riff Raff, Kurt (Chris Colfer) as Magenta, Tina (Jenna Ushkowitz) as Columbia
Likelihood: 7/10
Why: The most famous song from the show, the Time Warp has it all: sex appeal, creepiness, ridiculous dance moves, and lots of trannies running around in tuxedos. Now, I’ve heard that Ryan Murphy announced the Rocky episode of Glee by telling Chris Colfer that he would get the opportunity to live out his dream of singing “Time Warp,” which would presumably mean he’d be singing the part of Riff Raff (or perhaps they’ll re-arrange the song as a solo). But there’s only one man on Glee suited fill Richard O’Brien’s shoes, and that man is Kevin McHale. Though wheelchair-bound Artie would probably be unable to do Riff’s infamous “kick! kick!,” he’s by far the strongest male vocalist on the show (with the exception of Jon Groff, but I’m not sure if he’s returning next season). And he’s the only one who can sing the sort of rock-theatre style that this song demands.

But Kurt as Magenta? In a big ridiculous wig and a French maid’s costume, with a hilariously bad accent? That would be pure perfection. And Tina’s whiny voice is perfect for Columbia’s solo.

Song: “Sweet Transvestite”
Who should sing it: Puck (Mark Salling)
Likelihood: 5/10
Why: We’ve seen Finn finally stand up for New Directions by donning head-to-toe Lady Gaga drag; now it’s time for McKinley High’s other resident jock to don some drag and gay it up. Puck is a total rock star in his head, which is why he’d be perfect for this ego-driven song of pure attitude. Because as super-queeny as Dr. Frank N. Furter is, he’s also a totally badass maniac, and Puck would not only rock this song, but he’d look damn good doing it. He’s totally the sort of character who would do this as a “look how confident in my sexuality I am” kind of thing – like he’s the only straight guy cool enough to get away with it. Which he is. (Because Finn would just look super-gay.) I don’t know that Glee would want to put their hottest male character (aside from the yummy Mr. Schue) into such a dragtastic role – I only know that if they choose someone else to do it, I won’t be satisfied.

Song: “I Can Make You a Man”
Who should sing it: Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch)
Likelihood: 6/10
Why: Should Sue Sylvester not have an entire song dedicated to what a weeny Will Schuester is? I’d love to see Sue take on the challenge to whip Mr. Schue (or any other character) into Cheerio-standard shape, using this song as her get-pumped anthem. Jane Lynch would be as hilarious imitating Tim Curry as she was imitating Madonna in the “Vogue” video, and she could slip in all sorts of jokes about his hair. After all, even if she’s going to stand up for Glee club, she will still forever be Will’s rival, and we love her for that.

Song: “Hot Patootie”
Who should sing it: Finn (Cory Monteith)
Likelihood: 7/10
Why: The perfect combination of cheese and rock, this song was made for Finn. He’d be strong on the high rock vocals, and the song is right in his territory – loud and fun, but theatrical as well. Plus, Meatloaf is one rock legend Finn has yet to conquer on the show, so it’ll be interesting to see how he handles it.

Song: “Touch-a Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me”
Who should sing it: Rachel (Lea Michele)
Likelihood: 9/10
Why: Nobody can over-emote like a stage actress, so only Lea Michele can bring to “Touch-a” the over-the-top campiness that it deserves. Not to mention it’d be the perfect song for Rachel to lose her virginity to – a song about an uptight priss wanting to be bad and give it up? It’s the “You’re the One that I Want” from Grease all over again – the good girl gone bad. Lea would destroy the high notes while keeping the princess-gone-wild attitude strong. I can’t see the Glee producers denying this chance for Rachel Berry to diva out and go crazy.

Song: “Rose Tint My World/Floor Show”
Who should sing it: April Rhodes (Kristen Chenoweth) as Columbia, Finn as Rocky, Kurt as Brad, Rachel as Janet
Likelihood: 1/10
Why: I see no possible way that the producers would allow this to happen, but it would be beyond perfect. I know they’re bringing both Kristen Chenoweth and Idina Menzel back next season for more guest appearances, and I’d love to hear Cheno do her squeaky little-girl voice for Columbia’s solo. Finn as Rocky is easy – they’re both dumb as hell and can’t dance for shit – and Rachel the ingenue is of course Janet. But Kurt in fishnets and heels, writhing on the floor with a feather boa, playing Brad even gayer than Barry Bostwick played him, would make television history.

Song: “Wild & Untamed Thing”
Who should sing it: Mr. Schue (Matt Morrison)
Likelihood: 6/10
Why: Who better than the fearless leader of New Directions to lead the most upbeat, frantic, dance-crazy song in Rocky Horror? He’d be able to fit it into some schmaltzy lesson that uses words like “freedom” and “expression” and “passion” and some other crap that fits in with Mr. Schue’s character perfectly. And of course, Matt Morrison would get to show off his impressive dance moves, and this song would also be a great way to feature some of the show’s best dancers, like Brittany and Mike Chang (Harry Shum), better known as “Other Asian.”

Song: “Don’t Dream It, Be It”
Who should sing it: Kurt
Likelihood: 9/10
Why: A gay anthem if there ever was one, “Don’t Dream It, Be It” is not only a celebration of self-awareness, but a ridiculously flaming, over-the-top, Liza Minelli-style ballad with meaningful (if repetitive) lyrics. Its message is not as simple as “be who you are” – instead, you should drape yourself in feathers and be the person (or transvestite alien) of your dreams. And who better than Kurt to give us that message?


Thoughts? Feelings? Leave your comments, as always. And don’t forget to follow me on twitter @democracydiva!

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