The bitchery continues!

LADY GAGA

THIS IS WHAT LADY GAGA WEARS TO YOGA. Seriously.

KATE MIDDLETON in a Smythe jacket and a Mulberry bag

Perfect hair, perfect blazer, perfect dress, perfect bag… if I didn’t love Kate Middleton so much, I’d hate her fucking guts for how amazing she is.

RACHEL BILSON

I tend not to like pockets that are longer than shorts, but they work on Rachel Bilson, because everything works on Rachel Bilson. This blazer is my new obsession, and the shirt under it is lovely. Seasonally, it seems strange to wear a wool blazer and ankle booties with short-shorts and an iced coffee, but she’s cute as a button.

BEYONCE in Christian Louboutin shoes

I am wary of rompers, but I think Beyonce is kind of rocking this one. I mean, if you were Beyonce, and you were strolling through an airport, you’d want to be wearing a cozy, cute romper, killer heels, easy-breezy-beautiful hair, and no makeup. I love her natural curls, but I think she’d look much more beautiful with a darker, more natural hair color.

KIM KARDASHIAN in a Givenchy dress and Christian Louboutin shoes

It’s overly severe, but as far as Kim Kardashian goes, this is pretty excellent.

ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELEY in The Row

You get one shade of nude per outfit, not three. And her head looks so big in comparison to her body, she resembles a Bratz doll.

SELENA GOMEZ

I think these are shorts, which upsets me, because I’d really like this look if it were a skirt. Cute boots, too.

JAYMA MAYS in a Max Azria dress and Jimmy Choo shoes

A little twee for a grown woman, and those shoes are just an ugly color.

ROSE BYRNE in Valentino

If she’d have left this dress on its own, she might have looked beautiful. I find that many Valentino dresses, which tend to be embellished and embroidered and layered with lace and textured, look better with minimal accessories. The belt, especially in that more saturated version of the same purple in the dress, doesn’t really fit the more ethereal aesthetic of the dress. The purse and shoes are both too heavy and too clunky; like the strangely heavy makeup, they’re too severe for this look.

ALEXA CHUNG in Carven

Hipster-chic is one thing. Wearing a very wrinkled nun’s habit with mental patient hair is quite another.

ALEXIS BLEDEL in Twelfth Street by Cynthia Vincent

Oof. She started off with an ugly dress that doesn’t fit her at all, and makes her look rather short and stumpy. And she added some fug accessories that don’t work well with each other or the dress. Good thing she’s got those amazing blue eyes – they’re the only thing I like about this look.

BEYONCE

We love a good 1980s inspiration, but with the big hair, that crazy-colored power-dress, and those big white platform pumps, she actually looks straight out of Working Girl, and not in a good way.

JENNIFER ANISTON in Nina Ricci

Maybe a girl half her age could pull off this cutesy little dress and those kicky shoes, but Jennifer Aniston cannot.

JENNIFER ANISTON

No better way to say “I don’t give a fuck” than wearing the same boring outfit to every red carpet event.

ALICIA KEYS in Dolce & Gabbana

Laughably horrible. Suspenders? With those truly horrendous, ill-fitting draped-and-wrapped pants? And the white blazer and those terrifying zebra-print shoes, plus the ubiquitous and truly trash-tastic sloppy braid? This is like every imaginable trend gone horribly wrong.

RUPERT GRINT

I love me some Ron Weasley, perhaps more than is healthy. But this is what to wear when you’re smoking a bong with Neville Longbottom and Dean Thomas, not to a press event for your most highly anticipated film to date. The sneakers are downright offensive, and although the blazer has a casual chicness and the jeans are sort of adorably tight, the overall look is a bit too disheveled for the red carpet.

BEYONCE in Julien Macdonald

Oh, good LORD. A mesh-and-fringe neon yellow long-sleeved shirt (with thumb-hooks and a matching diaper), plus fishnets?! And that hair has a life of its own – it’s gotten progressively larger and more intimidating in every photo! Run, before it takes over a tranny bar near you!

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© Democracy Diva, 2011.
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