Best Dressed: KIERNAN SHIPKA
dress and shoes by Oscar de la Renta
SALLY MOTHERFUCKING DRAPER. This little lady is everything I want to be, and I’m a 24-year-old almost-lawyer, so that fact should probably embarrass me more than it does. BUT SHE’S JUST SO UNSTOPPABLY FABULOUS THAT I CAN’T PHYSICALLY TURN OFF MY CAPS LOCK. I love the neckline, the width of the skirt, the perfect place it hits on her leg, and the general 60s-for-the-21st-century vibe to it.
Runner-Up: AMANDA SEYFRIED
gown by Zac Posen, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz
I know I give mermaid gowns a very hard time on this blog, but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a perfect one when I see it. And this navy Zac Posen wonder is a perfect mermaid gown – it was my Pre-Fall 2013 red carpet prediction for Dita von Teese. The luxurious dark color keeps it from going to a princessy place, and the detailing of those navy-on-navy stripes at the bottom of the skirt? To die for. It’s really hard to get this kind of ruffled skirt/train effect looking absolutely flawless, but I think this nails it. Love the hair, makeup, and necklace too. I know the Les Mis press tour and this awards season were supposed to be all about Anne Hathaway. But I get the feeling that once March Fabness starts and we look back at what they wore this year, it’ll be Amanda with the more consistently beautiful wardrobe.
Honorable Mention: TINA FEY
gown by Oscar de la Renta, jewelry by Fred Leighton
Keep your new stylist on the payroll for LIFE, Tina. I’d have nixed the dark bracelets and gone for a diamond necklace, but hair and makeup are working better than ever before. And the gown is a total dream on her, especially with the lovely and super-flattering little belt.
gown by Kaufmanfranco, jewelry by David Webb, purse by Judith Leiber
The bracelet is just one too many matchy-matchy pieces, but the color of this gown is unstoppably beautiful and Jane was absolutely glowing in it. 30 Rock might be ending, but its stars are positively unstoppable on the red carpet right now.
gown by Christian Dior, jewelry by Chopard
The back of the skirt is a little awkward, but the color is stunning on her. And remember how she had the flu a few weeks ago at the Golden Globes? Apparently, it’s turned into pneumonia, and she almost didn’t make it to the SAG Awards. THIS IS HOW GOOD KATNISS LOOKS WITH PNEUMONIA, YOU GUYS. I can’t even.
gown by Jason Wu, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Something in the silhouette is kind of unflattering – the belt is in the wrong place, and the heavy straps combined with the overworked bodice don’t show off her gorgeous figure particularly well. But the color is flawless, and below the waist, the gown is classic and elegant. She’s working the giant hair, the Cleopatra eyeliner, and the eye-catching black accessories. It’s a touch over-the-top, but that’s exactly what I loved about it.
gown by Givenchy, jewelry by Neil Lane
I like the idea of this dress, especially the detailing on the skirt, but the draping hanging off her arm is just a little too much for me. And the hair and makeup look way too casual.
gown by Donna Karan, jewelry by Neil Lane, shoes by Jimmy Choo
I never really like when a random strap pops out of a woman’s cleavage like that, but this is the first time Sofia hasn’t worn a sparkly strapless mermaid gown in like, all of human history. It’s a new color, a new fabric, and a new silhouette, and it looks great on her. But I’m not crazy about the shoes.
gown by Vivienne Westwood, jewelry by Fred Leighton
Nicole, you of the ice queen stare and the astonishing severity should know better than to do the stick-straight hair with a center part. The gown is lovely, but I’d like it better if she weren’t Angelina-popping her leg so much.
gown by Marchesa, jewelry by Faberge, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Lovely, and exactly what she’s worn to like every awards show EVER. Branch out, Naomi!
gown and purse by Chanel
Why, Julianne? This was so close to perfection, I could taste it. And then you get one of the most severe cases of Droopy Boob Syndrome I’ve ever seen. It’s positively heartbreaking. The floral print on the gown is gorgeous (though I could do without the center seam), the jewelry is phenomenal, and her hair and makeup are flawless, which is a rarity for her. But I cannot ignore or forgive that sad, sad bustline.
dress by Giambattista Valli, jewelry by Kwiat, shoes by Jimmy Choo
You won’t win an Oscar dressing like this, Annie. (Actually, you probably will, because your performance was unstoppable, but come on. At least dress like you’re still trying to impress people, instead of dressing like you’ve already won and thus have no shits left to give.)
gown by Valentino, purse and shoes by Jimmy Choo
You get ruffles, pastels, OR florals, Rose. You don’t get to wear all three at once. And your hairstylist should be executed for the war crime he performed on your hair.
gown by Chado Ralph Rucci, bracelet by Bulgari, purse by Mulberry, shoes by Rupert Sanderson
LADY MARY, YOU PUT THAT SIDEBOOB AWAY. I want to rail against this for its inappropriateness after last night’s episode of Downton, but SPOILERS and such, so just know what I’m thinking when I say THIS IS NO TIME FOR SIDEBOOB.
gown by Roland Mouret, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz, shoes by Roger Vivier
Awful. Like she got trapped in a wind tunnel and then her dress got run over by a bus, awful.
Worst Dressed: JANUARY JONES
gown by Prabal Gurung
BETTY DRAPER HAS A MULLET. I REPEAT: BETTY DRAPER HAS A MULLET.