GWYNETH PALTROW vs. KATE MARA
GWYNETH: What a lovely day for a fashion death match!
KATE: You’re awfully perky. Are you always like this, or did you just take some new secret vitamin infused with diamonds that you’re trying to shill to the rest of the world?
GWYNETH: BOTH, silly! And don’t mock it ’til you’ve tried it. You seem a bit on the moody side.
KATE: This is just how my face looks.
GWYNETH: Oh, come on, dear. Would a smile kill you? I won’t tell Kevin Spacey you actually have a soul, if that’s what you’re worried about.
KATE: Aw, it’s cute that you think I have a soul.
GWYNETH: Well, fine. If you’re going to be all condescending and bitchy about everything, I can do that hungry, pinched, soulless face just as well as you can.
KATE: I doubt that. Mine’s genetic. Haven’t you ever seen my sister? This is about as cheerful as the Mara women get.
GWYNETH: Wow. It must be so cool when constant frowning runs in your family. The only thing that runs in my family is extraordinary WASPish beauty.
KATE: You really are the worst.
ALEXA CHUNG vs. EMILIA CLARKE
ALEXA: Hey, Emilia!
EMILIA: Who is Emilia? I am Daenerys, of House Targaryen!
ALEXA: Um, okay then. I guess –
EMILIA: LET ME FINISH. I am Daenerys of House Targaryen, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea!
ALEXA: Are you done yet, or –
EMILIA: DAENERYS TARGARYEN, THE FIRST OF MY NAME! BREAKER OF CHAINS! MOTHER OF DRAGONS!
ALEXA: How do you get anywhere on time, if people are supposed to say ALL THOSE NAMES before they –
EMILIA: DAENERYS STORMBORN! THE RIGHTFUL RULER OF THE SEVEN KINGDOMS!
ALEXA: ALL-FUCKING-RIGHT ALREADY! Is there ANYTHING I can call you that’s a LITTLE BIT shorter than all of that?
EMILIA: Oh, I’m just fucking with you. Call me Emilia.
ELIZABETH BANKS vs. JESSICA BIEL
ELIZABETH: Nothing – I’m just impressed.
JESSICA: I get that a lot. What exactly is it about me that impresses you so?
ELIZABETH: Well, I’ve always thought you were about as interesting as watching paint dry, but you’re almost giving me a run for my money in this little battle.
JESSICA: Ex-CUSE me? First of all, I’m a fascinating person. Second of all, I will kick your ass in this match-up EASILY.
ELIZABETH: Listen, Seventh Heaven. You’re a lot of things, but interesting ain’t one of ’em. And you’re cute enough, but do you really think you can compete with Effie Trinket when it comes to fashion?
JESSICA: Hey! I am so interesting! Sometimes me and Justin show up at Jimmy Fallon’s house and drink all his booze!
ELIZABETH: What are you, sixteen? Get a life, little girl.
JESSICA: That’s it. You’re going down.
HAILEE STEINFELD vs. COCO ROCHA
HAILEE: Hi, Ms. Rocha! Aren’t we looking fabulous in our black-and-white ensembles today?
COCO: Down, girl. And you can call me Coco.
HAILEE: Really? That feels weird, since you’re like, old enough to be my mom.
COCO: EXCUSE ME? I’m only 25!
HAILEE: Oh. Shit. Um, maybe go a little less severe on the makeup, then? Because you come off as just a wee bit older than that. And like, a thousand times more terrifying.
COCO: I will have the skin of an infant forever, okay? The terrifying thing I’m fine with, but don’t you DARE tell me I’m looking too OLD.
HAILEE: You just always look so SERIOUS. You could lighten up just a bit and everyone would think you’re young, like me!
COCO: Go fuck yourself, little girl.
HAILEE: Ugh, whatever. Be that way. You’re just jealous because I dress cuter than you.
COCO: In your dreams, bitch.