March Fabness 2014, Round 1: McQueen Bracket


Round 1 continues with more match-ups, more bitchery, and more divaliciousness. 

GWYNETH PALTROW vs. KATE MARA
Gwyneth's dress by Narciso Rodriguez, shoes by Jimmy Choo; Kate's top and shorts by Mulberry

Gwyneth’s dress by Narciso Rodriguez, shoes by Jimmy Choo; Kate’s top and shorts by Mulberry

GWYNETH: What a lovely day for a fashion death match!

KATE: You’re awfully perky. Are you always like this, or did you just take some new secret vitamin infused with diamonds that you’re trying to shill to the rest of the world?

Gwyneth's top, skirt, and belt by Prabal Gurung, shoes by Tom Ford; Kate's dress by Kate Young for Target, shoes by Brian Atwood

Gwyneth’s top, skirt, and belt by Prabal Gurung, shoes by Tom Ford; Kate’s dress by Kate Young for Target, shoes by Brian Atwood

GWYNETH: BOTH, silly! And don’t mock it ’til you’ve tried it. You seem a bit on the moody side.

KATE: This is just how my face looks.

Gwyneth's top and pants by Erdem, shoes by Jimmy Choo; Kate's top and skirt by J. Mendel, shoes by Charlotte Olympia

Gwyneth’s top and pants by Erdem, shoes by Jimmy Choo; Kate’s top and skirt by J. Mendel, shoes by Charlotte Olympia

GWYNETH: Oh, come on, dear. Would a smile kill you? I won’t tell Kevin Spacey you actually have a soul, if that’s what you’re worried about.

KATE: Aw, it’s cute that you think I have a soul.

Gwyneth's gown by Matthew Williamson; Kate's gown by J. Mendel, shoes by Charlotte Olympia

Gwyneth’s gown by Matthew Williamson; Kate’s gown by J. Mendel, shoes by Charlotte Olympia

GWYNETH: Well, fine. If you’re going to be all condescending and bitchy about everything, I can do that hungry, pinched, soulless face just as well as you can.

KATE: I doubt that. Mine’s genetic. Haven’t you ever seen my sister? This is about as cheerful as the Mara women get.

Gwyneth's gown by Prada; Kate's gown, purse, and shoes by Prada

Gwyneth’s gown by Prada; Kate’s gown, purse, and shoes by Prada

GWYNETH: Wow. It must be so cool when constant frowning runs in your family. The only thing that runs in my family is extraordinary WASPish beauty.

KATE: You really are the worst.

ALEXA CHUNG vs. EMILIA CLARKE
Alexa's coat and dress by Burberry; Emilia's dress by Christopher Kane

Alexa’s coat and dress by Burberry; Emilia’s dress by Christopher Kane

ALEXA: Hey, Emilia!

EMILIA: Who is Emilia? I am Daenerys, of House Targaryen!

Alexa's dress by Valentino; Emilia's dress and purse by Chanel, shoes by Manolo Blahnik

Alexa’s dress by Valentino; Emilia’s dress and purse by Chanel, shoes by Manolo Blahnik

ALEXA: Um, okay then. I guess –

EMILIA: LET ME FINISH. I am Daenerys of House Targaryen, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea!

Alexa's dress, purse, and shoes by Chanel; Emilia's gown by Calvin Klein, purse by Rauwolf

Alexa’s dress, purse, and shoes by Chanel; Emilia’s gown by Calvin Klein, purse by Rauwolf

ALEXA: Are you done yet, or –

EMILIA: DAENERYS TARGARYEN, THE FIRST OF MY NAME! BREAKER OF CHAINS! MOTHER OF DRAGONS!

Alexa's suit by Christopher Kane; Emilia's gown by Donna Karan, purse by Rauwolf

Alexa’s suit by Christopher Kane; Emilia’s gown by Donna Karan, purse by Rauwolf

ALEXA: How do you get anywhere on time, if people are supposed to say ALL THOSE NAMES before they –

EMILIA: DAENERYS STORMBORN! THE RIGHTFUL RULER OF THE SEVEN KINGDOMS!

Alexa's dress by Erdem; Emilia's gown by Proenza Schouler

Alexa’s dress by Erdem; Emilia’s gown by Proenza Schouler

ALEXA: ALL-FUCKING-RIGHT ALREADY! Is there ANYTHING I can call you that’s a LITTLE BIT shorter than all of that?

EMILIA: Oh, I’m just fucking with you. Call me Emilia.

ELIZABETH BANKS vs. JESSICA BIEL
Elizabeth's top and skirt by Dolce & Gabbana, shoes by Christian Louboutin; Jessica's dress by Roksanda Ilincic, purse by Fendi, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Elizabeth’s top and skirt by Dolce & Gabbana, shoes by Christian Louboutin; Jessica’s dress by Roksanda Ilincic, purse by Fendi, shoes by Christian Louboutin

ELIZABETH: Wow.

JESSICA: What?

Elizabeth's dress by Atelier Versace, purse and shoes by Brian Atwood; Jessica's dress by Dolce & Gabbana

Elizabeth’s dress by Atelier Versace, purse and shoes by Brian Atwood; Jessica’s dress by Dolce & Gabbana

ELIZABETH: Nothing – I’m just impressed.

JESSICA: I get that a lot. What exactly is it about me that impresses you so?

Elizabeth's gown by Elie Saab, purse by Kara Ross; Jessica's top and skirt by Christian Dior

Elizabeth’s gown by Elie Saab, purse by Kara Ross; Jessica’s top and skirt by Christian Dior

ELIZABETH: Well, I’ve always thought you were about as interesting as watching paint dry, but you’re almost giving me a run for my money in this little battle.

JESSICA: Ex-CUSE me? First of all, I’m a fascinating person. Second of all, I will kick your ass in this match-up EASILY.

Elizabeth's gown by Versace, purse by Rauwolf; Jessica's gown by Elie Saab

Elizabeth’s gown by Versace, purse by Rauwolf; Jessica’s gown by Elie Saab

ELIZABETH: Listen, Seventh Heaven. You’re a lot of things, but interesting ain’t one of ’em. And you’re cute enough, but do you really think you can compete with Effie Trinket when it comes to fashion?

JESSICA: Hey! I am so interesting! Sometimes me and Justin show up at Jimmy Fallon’s house and drink all his booze!

Elizabeth's gown by Jason Wu; Jessica's dress and purse by Marchesa

Elizabeth’s gown by Jason Wu; Jessica’s dress and purse by Marchesa

ELIZABETH: What are you, sixteen? Get a life, little girl.

JESSICA: That’s it. You’re going down.

HAILEE STEINFELD vs. COCO ROCHA
Hailee's top and skirt by Thakoon Addition; Coco's cape and vest by Sass & Bide

Hailee’s top and skirt by Thakoon Addition; Coco’s cape and vest by Sass & Bide

HAILEE: Hi, Ms. Rocha! Aren’t we looking fabulous in our black-and-white ensembles today?

COCO: Down, girl. And you can call me Coco.

Hailee's dress by Sportmax, shoes by Jimmy Choo; Coco's jacket by Fausto Puglisi

Hailee’s dress by Sportmax, shoes by Jimmy Choo; Coco’s jacket by Fausto Puglisi

HAILEE: Really? That feels weird, since you’re like, old enough to be my mom.

COCO: EXCUSE ME? I’m only 25!

Hailee's dress by Prabal Gurung, shoes by Brian Atwood; Coco's dress by Dolce & Gabbana

Hailee’s dress by Prabal Gurung, shoes by Brian Atwood; Coco’s dress by Dolce & Gabbana

HAILEE: Oh. Shit. Um, maybe go a little less severe on the makeup, then? Because you come off as just a wee bit older than that. And like, a thousand times more terrifying.

COCO: I will have the skin of an infant forever, okay? The terrifying thing I’m fine with, but don’t you DARE tell me I’m looking too OLD.

Hailee's top and skirt by Suno, shoes by Jimmy Choo; Coco's gown by Jean Paul Gaultier

Hailee’s top and skirt by Suno, shoes by Jimmy Choo; Coco’s gown by Jean Paul Gaultier

HAILEE: You just always look so SERIOUS. You could lighten up just a bit and everyone would think you’re young, like me!

COCO: Go fuck yourself, little girl.

Hailee's dress by Donna Karan, purse and shoes by Jimmy Choo; Coco's gown by DSquared2

Hailee’s dress by Donna Karan, purse and shoes by Jimmy Choo; Coco’s gown by DSquared2

HAILEE: Ugh, whatever. Be that way. You’re just jealous because I dress cuter than you.

COCO: In your dreams, bitch.


© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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