It’s time to board that private jet and fly off to the south of France, bitches. 

Best Dressed: LUPITA NYONG’O
gown and headband by Gucci, jewelry by Chopard

Photo: Venturelli/WireImage

LUPITAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YOU ARE GIVING ME MERMAID OFF THE COAST OF THE FRENCH RIVIERA REALNESS RIGHT NOW HOW ARE YOU SO FLAWLESS

Runner-Up: JULIANNE MOORE
gown by Armani Privé, jewelry by Chopard

Photo: Venturelli/WireImage

J’motherfucking-adore, you guys. It’s strangely wintery for May in Cannes, but I can’t possibly hold that against her. Not when she’s wearing something this gorgeous. We may have many months to go before December, but I’m already bookmarking so many Cannes looks for Best Dressed of the Year. It really is where the best fashion of the year comes from, year after year.

Honorable Mention: FAN BINGBING
gown by Ralph & Russo, jewelry by Chopard, purse by Louis Vuitton

Photo: Getty

I worship at the altar of Fan Bingbing.

JOHN LEGEND
tuxedo by Gucci

Photo: Getty

Scrumptious. All of me loves allllll of this.

NAOMI WATTS
gown by Elie Saab, necklace by Bulgari

Photo: EPA/Landov

A gorgeous necklace, a gorgeous bodice, and a gorgeous skirt, but I’m not sure they all needed to be deployed together. This gown is already a LOT of look – it didn’t necessarily need a statement necklace worth the GDP of Monaco.

CLOTILDE COURAU
gown by Valentino, necklace by Bulgari

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

Cannes is wonderful because it brings me international superstars like Clotilde Courau, who is a French actress and also apparently Italian royalty. Wikipedia tells me one of her occupations is “princess-in-exile,” which is the maybe coolest sounding job I can imagine. Anyway, she’s 46 years old and doesn’t look a day over French and fucking fabulous, and I love the cape-like sleeves of this gown. In a color, I would have ranked it a bit higher, but I get that the understatement of matching your dress to your skin tone is a thing. Also: great necklace.

JAKE GYLLENHAAL
tuxedo by Tom Ford

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

His bow tie looks a little silly, or maybe there’s just a microphone attached? I don’t know, and I don’t care, because he’s adorable.

SIENNA MILLER
gown by Lanvin

Photo: Gisela Schober/Getty

Surprisingly tame, considering this is Sienna Miller, and she’s on the Cannes jury, and it’s the opening ceremony. I like it, I just thought she would go for something way more fashion-forward.

NATALIE PORTMAN
gown by Christian Dior, jewelry by De Grisogono

Photo: David Fisher/Rex

Snooze. Call me when she wears something other than monochromatic Dior.

AYMELINE VALADE
dress by Ulyana Sergeenko

Photo: Getty

*yelling in the voice of Cher’s dad in Clueless* IT LOOKS LIKE UNDERWEAR!

BAR REFAELI
gown by Roland Mouret

Photo: Venturelli/WireImage

I care so little about this. I have nothing to say except:

DOUTZEN KROES
gown by Atelier Versace, jewelry by Chopard

Photo: David Fisher/Rex

I feel like I’ve seen every goddamn supermodel on EARTH wear this gown in the last six months. I am decidedly OVER IT. Stop looking like you got violently slashed stepping out of your limo.

LIYA KEDEBE
dress by Louis Vuitton

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

Runway models have a tendency to believe that they are so beautiful, they don’t actually have to try to look good. I’m sorry, Liya, you may be freakishly gorgeous, but your puffy sleeves and hideous shoes can burn in hell.

Worst Dressed: KARLIE KLOSS
jumpsuit by Atelier Versace

Photo: David Fisher/Rex

I was really going to try and defend this outfit based on its originality, except I just kept staring at this photo thinking, “Please don’t let this become a thing. For the love of God, don’t let this be a thing.”

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© Democracy Diva, 2015.
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