Yes, that’s right. Cannes is so fantabulous, this is just the start of the Best Dressed from the film festival premieres. Are you ready for this jelly?

CATE BLANCHETT at the Carol premiere
gown by Giles

And now, a Game of Thrones haiku:

HAIL CATE, OF HOUSE FAB.

FASHION QUEEN OF THE ANDALS.

BOW DOWN. QUEEN CATE REIGNS.

NAOMI WATTS at the Sea of Trees premiere
dress by Armani Privé

Has anyone ever brushed away a hair so perfectly, so gracefully, so beautifully in the history of woman-and-drag-queen-kind? I think not. She looks absolutely breathtaking.

NAOMI WATTS at the Mad Max: Fury Road premiere
gown by Ralph Lauren, jewelry by Bulgari

When wearing a gazillion dollars worth of diamonds and playing with your fancy skirt, one must always wear a devilish grin. #NaomiWattsLifeLessons

ERIN O’CONNOR at the Carol premiere
gown by Ralph & Russo

Yes, she looks like the world’s tallest Christmas present, but I think that’s the point. The low-key styling lets the giant bow and the stunning cuff do all the talking.

FAN BINGBING at the Mad Max: Fury Road premiere
gown by Marchesa, jewelry by Chopard

Even I can admit that the flowers in her hair are a bit much, but you have to give it to Fan Bingbing – when she goes for an aesthetic, she COMMITS. If she wants to go ethereal, she will not stop until you actually believe she is a magical woodland couture fairy.

ROONEY MARA at the Carol premiere
gown by Olivier Theyskens for Rochas

It’s not exactly out of character for Rooney to wear a dramatic white gown – it’s pretty much her signature move. But this dress is particularly exquisite, from the light and airy bodice to the embroidery on the skirt to the unfinished hemline. The dark makeup and nails are a perfectly dramatic touch.

AISHWARYA RAI at the Carol premiere
gown by Elie Saab

She is positively glowing in that color.

CHARLIZE THERON at the Mad Max: Fury Road premiere
gown by Christian Dior, jewelry by Chopard

I’m not actually certain if this is intentionally a little bit ruched, or if it’s just in desperate need of a steam, but Charlize is tearing shit up regardless. The color makes it impossible to take your eye off of her, and I love that single curl hanging in front of her face.

DIANE KRUGER at the Maryland premiere
gown by Prada, jewelry by Harry Winston

There is something so fantastic about the way she’s blandly smiling at the cameras as if there isn’t a dude three inches from her ass, trying to make sure her skirt is laying correctly. That is a professional red carpet connoisseur, my friends. Anyway, the dress is predictably fan-freaking-tastic, though I’m not sold on the hair or the purse.

NATALIE PORTMAN at the Sicario premiere
gown by Lanvin

SHE FINALLY ISN’T WEARING DIOR! And she’s wearing a color that isn’t black, white, or red! It’s a Cannes miracle. And this dress is simple, but the dark jade color is amazing on her, and I love the low-hanging fit of the top.

RACHEL WEISZ at the Lobster premiere
gown by Louis Vuitton

I am obsessed with those sleeves. There’s something intensely futuristic about this look, while also feeling very classic. That’s a hard line to walk, and I think this dress does it incredibly well.

EMMA STONE at the Irrational Man premiere
gown by Christian Dior

I think the choker does a disservice to the best element of this gown, which is the stunning boat neck line. That should have been allowed to sing, and she could have replaced the choker with some gigantic diamond studs, and maybe a delicate bracelet. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still an award-winning look, but it could have been haiku-writing levels of amazing with a few small changes.

POPPY DELEVINGNE at the Carol premiere
gown by Burberry Prorsum, jewelry by Chopard

Yes, I know her nipple is an exploding star, but she looks like an evil mermaid, and I absolutely love it.

JANE FONDA at the Sea of Trees premiere
gown by Atelier Versace

Every runway model in the universe has worn a black, white, or metallic version of this dress in the last six months, but all of them can shut the fuck up and bow down before 77-year-old Jane Fonda. Those basic bitches might be young enough to be her granddaughter, but they don’t know from fabulous quite like Ms. Fonda. She is amazing.

SALMA HAYEK at the Carol premiere
gown by Gucci

She is on FIRE in this electric shade of purple. Girlfriend has never looked more sexy.

JULIANNE MOORE at the Mad Max: Fury Road premiere
gown by Givenchy, jewelry by Chopard

The matching shoes could be either insane or brilliant – I’m still not quite sure. But I am certain that lipstick needs to go, and I’d have loved to see her hair up, and maybe a dress this intense didn’t need such big earrings. All my styling complaints aside: this dress is GORGEOUS, and she looks incredible in it.

LÉA SEYDOUX at the Lobster premiere
gown by Miu Miu, jewelry by Chopard

This reminds me a bit of that Gucci gown that was hugely popular last year – but in a good way, not enough that it feels like a rip-off. Léa always brings her A-game to Cannes, and this was no exception.

NATASHA POLY at the Sea of Trees premiere
gown by Michael Kors

That Bulgari serpent necklace better have its own limo spot at every Cannes red carpet – that’s how prevalent it is, year after year. Still, it’s used expertly here, emphasizing that gorgeous plunging neckline without taking away from the amazing texture of the gown’s gold fabric.

MELISSA GEORGE at the Irrational Man premiere
coat, top, and shorts by Schiaparelli

I still can’t decide if this is hideously horrific or the most interesting and fashion-forward thing I’ve yet to see at Cannes. But at least that middle photographer in the background agrees with me. We are all that paparazzo, staring at Melissa George with a hand over our mouth as we try to decide what the fuck this is, and how we feel about it.

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© Democracy Diva, 2015.
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