Finals are over, dear readers, and I’m judging every skinny bitch in sight.

ROONEY MARA at the London premiere of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo // gown by Givenchy

So, this is the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, I guess. She looks more like the Girl with the Drag Queen Stylist to me.

KRYSTEN RITTER in Los Angeles // dress by Alberta Ferretti

A beautiful gown. Navy is particularly great with her coloring.

JESSICA CHASTAIN at the Marrakech Film Festival // dress by Viktor & Rolf, shoes by Sergio Rossi

An intriguing dress, to be sure, but it’s unreasonably tight in the waist, and I can’t understand why this is practically the only color she wears. It washes her out terribly.

EVA LONGORIA in London // gown by J. Mendel, purse by Salvatore Ferragamo, shoes by Brian Atwood

I’m as far from a fan of Eva Longoria as one can be, but even I have to admit she looks good. The color is fantastic and the purse is cute.

TAYLOR SWIFT in Nashville // gown by Reem Acra

Yes, it’s as princessy as ever, but at least the color is beautiful. That powdery blue is great on her.

BARACK and MICHELLE OBAMA // dress by Rodarte

A perfect dress for a Hannukah party, but you don’t need to wear a necklace for every night of the holiday all at once, Mrs. O.

JENNIFER HUDSON in Washington, DC // gown by Pamella Roland

It just screams prom, doesn’t it?

SARAH HYLAND in Las Vegas // dress by Chagoury, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

Ivory and baby pink are not your colors, darling. And fire your makeup artist immediately.

HILARY SWANK in New York City // dress, purse and shoes by Gucci

I don’t hate it, but it feels like one of those dresses that only works for the length of a runway. After that, it just kind of looks shapeless and sloppy. I was ready to forgive that because I like the shoes, until I saw the back:

Like, is that really necessary?

LADY GAGA at Jingle Ball // ensemble by Atelier Versace

Okay, honey, I love my bedazzler as much as the next girl, but this is getting out of hand, don’t you think?

CAMILLA BELLE in Beverly Hills // dress by Oscar de la Renta, shoes by Gucci

I’m so not into tassels, but I am very much into fun little flapper dresses, particularly when the styling is simple and chic. This is a sharp little number!

EVAN RACHEL WOOD in Beverly Hills // dress by Preen, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

That skirt length always looks a bit Pilgrim-ish on the red carpet, and I wish she’d put a little effort into her hair. Also, can we collectively agree to retire shoes with bows on them, at least on the red carpet? They’re a little tired.

EVAN RACHEL WOOD in Hollywood // dress by Roland Mouret

Dorothy just found out that there’s a matching purse to her ruby slippers, y’all, and she is PISSED at Evan Rachel Wood for stealing it. But she’s working the hell out of her absurdly matchy-matchy accessories, so more power to her!

FELICITY JONES

I’d wear every single thing she’s wearing in a heartbeat. Also, she was smart to pick a really sheer black stocking so that her feet don’t seem invisible – there’s just enough contrast between the shoe and the leg.

SHAILENE WOODLEY at the Dubai Film Festival // dress by Dolce & Gabbana

Cute dress, but honey, that weave has got to go.

MILEY CYRUS // gown by Jenny Packham

Miley, you should never, EVER wear your hair slicked-back, particularly with gaudy, attention-grabbing earrings. This look does nothing for you. The four bracelets and ten rings aren’t helping, and the color of this gown washes you out terribly. The gown itself isn’t horrible, but it doesn’t work on you.

MILEY CYRUS at the CNN Heroes event in Los Angeles // gown by Roberto Cavalli

First of all, the jewelry. Seriously. There’s no need to wear every piece David Yurman throws at you at once, darling. Second, the hair. It’s disgusting. Third, the hem of that gown, which is just the saddest, dingiest-looking thing on earth. Did this get dragged through dirty gutter water before the event? And finally, who the hell wears this much cleavage to the CNN Heroes event, for crying out loud?

LEANN RIMES // dress by Azzedine Alaïa, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

She clearly thinks this is a winning outfit, but I disagree. The shoes are too clunky, the dress has way too many little details going on, and the scalloped neckline is really unattractive. She looks like she got caught in a shredder.

ELLE FANNING at the New York City premiere of We Bought a Zoo // dress and shoes by Louis Vuitton

She’s precious enough to pull it off, but LORD does this dress look like a paper snowflake mixed with a homesewn tablecloth. But I’m sorry, those shoes are really and truly hideous.

GWEN STEFANI at the Hollywood premiere of In the Land of Blood and Honey // jumpsuit by L.A.M.B.

I’ve never seen anyone but Gwen Stefani wear L.A.M.B. Based on this butt-ugly jumpsuit, there’s clearly a reason for that.

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© Democracy Diva, 2011.
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