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ANNE HATHAWAY vs. MICHELLE WILLIAMS
Anne’s dress and purse by Gucci; Michelle’s dress by Jason Wu, shoes by Tabitha Simmons for Honor
Anne: Oh, um, this is awkward.
Michelle: What’s awkward?
Anne’s top and skirt by Chanel; Michelle’s dress by Christian Dior, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Anne: Well, I thought I was up against Michelle Williams from Destiny’s Child. I have to admit, I’m kind of disappointed.
Michelle: But it’s a Battle of the Pixies! What does Other Michelle Williams have that I don’t have?
Anne’s gown by Gucci; Michelle’s dress by Burberry Prorsum, shoes by Jimmy Choo
Anne: She got shot out of a cannon at the fucking Superbowl. It was basically the coolest thing I’ve ever seen.
Michelle: Has anyone ever told you that you’re, like, a total dork?
Anne’s gown by Givenchy; Michelle’s gown by Jason Wu
Anne: Um, yes. Aaron Tveit and Amanda Seyfried told me that, like, every day on set. How do you think I was able to cry so hard?
Michelle: Wow. I guess I assumed you were, you know, acting.
Anne’s gown by Valentino, purse by Roger Vivier; Michelle’s gown and shoes by Prada, purse by Kate Young for Target
Anne: I’m just joking, Michelle. Jeez. You’re even more uptight than I am.
Michelle: Let’s just blame the pixie cuts.
ROSE BYRNE vs. ELLE FANNING
Rose’s dress by Jill Stuart; Elle’s dress by Opening Ceremony, shoes by Miu Miu
Rose: Well aren’t you just an adorable little thing? So you’re the littler Fanning?
Elle: Well, technically I’m taller than Dakota, but yup, that’s me!
Rose’s dress and shoes by Valentino; Elle’s dress and boots by Rochas
Rose: Precious. I love how you’re dressing to match me – it’s just so darling.
Elle: Dressing to match you? You’re dressing to match me! You think an amateur can pull off these boots?
Rose’s dress by Marc Jacobs; Elle’s gown by Oscar de la Renta
Rose: I suppose you’re right about that. Anyway, how much longer will this take? Me and my comically large envelope clutch have places to be.
Elle: Chill out, Rose. Tension goes really poorly with springtime colors.
Rose’s gown by Michael Kors; Elle’s gown and sweater by Rochas
Rose: You’re starting to get on my nerves, you brat.
Elle: Doesn’t bother me, as long as you don’t start copying my style again.
Rose’s gown by Balenciaga, purse by Thale Blanc, shoes by Charlotte Olympia; Elle’s gown and shoes by Oscar de la Renta
Rose: I wear this pink a thousand times better than you could ever dream of wearing it, Little Miss Thing.
Elle: Oh, come on. I’m fucking angelic in this thing.
TAYLOR SWIFT vs. ALLISON WILLIAMS
Taylor’s suit by J. Mendel, shoes by Tom Ford; Allison’s dress by Naeem Khan
Taylor: Howdy, Allison! I’m glad to see you brought your shiny hair – you’re going to need that to compete with me.
Allison: Just here to prove that you’re not the only one with luxurious Disney princess locks.
Taylor’s dress by Elie Saab, shoes by Jimmy Choo; Allison’s top and skirt by Altuzarra, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti
Taylor: Well, you might be able to compete with me in the hair category, but what about bedroom eyes? Sparkliness of dresses? Are you sure you know what you’ve gotten yourself into?
Allison: Is Taylor Swift actually trying to intimidate me? Hang on, this is fucking hilarious.
Taylor’s gown by Jenny Packham; Allison’s gown by Donna Karan
Taylor: What’s so funny about me being intimidating?
Allison: … Have you ever even SEEN yourself?
Taylor’s gown by J. Mendel; Allison’s gown by Naeem Khan
Taylor: Alright, bitch, you can go ahead and drop the attitude, since you look like a skin disease and your gray nails look fungal.
Allison: Wow. That was actually really harsh.
Taylor’s gown by Elie Saab; Allison’s gown by Kaufmanfranco
Taylor: That’s what you get for laughing at me!
Allison: I’ll have the last laugh after the votes are counted.
CATE BLANCHETT vs. EMMY ROSSUM
Cate’s dress by Proenza Schouler, purse and shoes by Roger Vivier; Emmy’s dress by Christian Dior
Cate: Emmy, I’m sure you’re a very nice and talented girl, but you might just want to quit while you’re ahead. That’s a very cute dress, but you’re dealing with a professional here.
Emmy: A professional what?
Cate’s dress by Peter Pilotto, purse and shoes by Roger Vivier; Emmy’s dress by Andrew Gn, shoes by Jimmy Choo
Cate: A professional DIVA, darling. It starts with mixed-print dresses no mere mortals could dream of pulling off.
Emmy: Does my apostrophe-print dress count?
Cate’s gown by Antonio Berardi; Emmy’s dress by Monique Lhuillier
Cate: The road to Divahood continues with colorblocking, naturally.
Emmy: Does it always require looking like you’re wearing a cast around your waist?
Cate’s gown by Givenchy; Emmy’s dress by Zuhair Murad, purse and shoes by Christian Louboutin
Cate: Quiet, missy. Then, we move onto something minimalist and vaguely elfish.
Emmy: This is getting weirder and weirder.
Cate’s gown by Armani Privé; Emmy’s gown by Andrew Gn
Cate: And finally, we go out with a motherfucking BANG.
Emmy: I hear you, Cate. Let’s do this.
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The Democracy Diva 
I hate to be biased, but how on earth can I vote against Cate? I just can’t. I’m sorry, Emmy, it’s a fact of nature – Cate is a goddess and I can’t deny her anything!!!
100% agreed!