Best Dressed: MILEY CYRUS
gown by Marc Jacobs, jewelry by Eddie Borgo, shoes by Prada
My jaw dropped when Miley Cyrus stepped up to the camera for her interview during the red carpet livestream. This was my Fall 2013 red carpet prediction for Florence Welch, but Miley worked the SHIT out of it, and this was so the venue for it. Her rings are equally fantastic, and I’m so glad she went all the way with that ridiculous hair. Keeping the makeup relatively simple was kind of great – she still looked like Miley, but with the volume turned all the way up.
Runner-Up: BEYONCE KNOWLES
gown, gloves, and boots by Givenchy by Riccardo Tisci
She should have lost the belt and opted for a studded necklace, but the print on this gown is to die for, and the matching boots are insane. Plus, in true diva fashion, Beyonce once again arrived late enough to the red carpet so that she could have practically the whole Met staircase to herself for the best possible pictures. Case in point:
I can’t even HANDLE that train, dear readers. It is a freaking work of art.
Honorable Mention: GWEN STEFANI
gown by Maison Martin Margiela, purse by Salvatore Ferragamo, jewelry by Fred Leighton
I loved this. It was 1990s Gwen Stefani with a couture sleekness. The crooked bandeau top is inexplicably awesome, the jewelry is lovely, and the hair and makeup worked perfectly.
dress by Anthony Vaccarello
You literally have to be Gisele in order to pull this dress off – I know her legs are long, but we’ve got to be dangerously close to seeing her vagina, right? Regardless, this dress was perfectly on point, and the spiked shoes are a fucking hazard, which I love.
crown and dress by Dolce & Gabbana
She didn’t necessarily commit to the theme, but in usual Katy fashion, she definitely committed to a head-to-toe look. That beaded dress is truly astonishing to look at, and I love the matching print on the heels of the shoes. The bedazzled cross earring looks heavy enough to make her fall over, but she’s working it. And you have to admire the woman who shows up to the biggest fashion event of the year in a motherfucking crown.
gown by Rodarte, jewelry by Van Cleef & Arpels, purse by Roger Vivier, shoes by H&M
I wish she’d done something with her hair, but her eyeliner looked terrific and I liked this dramatic cut-out gown on her, particularly with that jewelry. But I was really sold when I saw it from the back:
Black and white angel wings on the red carpet? I love it. It might be more Hell’s Angels than punk, but it’s a fabulously dramatic and badass look, which is really what this event is all about.
gown by Gucci, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz
She could have used a bracelet, but this feathered-and-fishnetted gown is pretty magnificent on Rosie. Had she gone all the way with the styling, I think this could have been one of my favorite looks.
gown and jewelry by Christian Dior, veil by Jennifer Behr, shoes by Brian Atwood
I will first say that Jennifer Lawrence looks 100% flawless in every possible way EXCEPT the theme. This would have been the perfect look for one of the big Hunger Games premieres or really any major red carpet event. But it’s so romantic and classic and elegant, and that’s exactly the opposite of what she should have been aiming for at this event. Plus, she would have looked unbelievably cool in some crazy Vivienne Westwood concoction, or if she wanted to stay loyal to her brand, some late 90s/early 00s punk-influenced Dior look. So I just kind of feel like we got gypped out of a really badass Jennifer Lawrence moment. I know we got a really beautiful moment in return, but I’d have saved this dress for a film premiere and added white gloves to make her look like a Mockingjay.
gown by J. Mendel, jewelry by Fred Leighton, purse by Jimmy Choo
The splatterpainted print on this dress is all kinds of stunning. The proportions of the tiered skirts might not be quite right, but the print helps camouflage that. I think the necklace is kind of cheap-looking (even though it’s DEFINITELY not cheap), and the rest of the styling is only okay.
coat by Balmain, gown by Chanel, jewelry by Sidney Garber, shoes by Louis Vuitton
So, apparently a lot of people define punk as wearing one earring and a cross accessory. I actually think it works on a lot of these people, but with those terrifying braids, Mary-Kate looks like a terrified hippie who accidentally fell into an old, rich lady’s closet. But once she takes that awful coat off, things improve considerably:
If this gown were like, eight sizes smaller and actually fit her, I think it would be supremely chic and totally event-appropriate. But alas, the Olsens prefer their clothing flowy to the point of absurdity. Oh, and the shoes are a little underwhelming. One less necklace and a more interesting shoe would have balanced this look out a little more.
gown by Calvin Klein, jewelry by Fred Leighton
I can’t deny that she looks beautiful, but I’ll repeat my #1 rule of Met Gala theme dressing: don’t wear something that looks like you could wear it to any ordinary red carpet event. Olivia has broken this rule. She could have at least pumped things up with the styling, but that’s pretty ordinary too.
gown by Donna Karan, jewelry by Irit, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti
The curly mohawk was a lot of look, and probably more than Emmy Rossum could handle. But I think it might have worked if it weren’t for this gown, which looks a bit like a moth-eaten wedding dress, and not in an interesting way. I loved the eyeliner and the rings, and though you can’t see it here, her nails had ripped white fishnets and little studs and rhinestones embellished on them. It was a great little detail.
gown by Moschino
Kylie’s accessories all work nicely together, but I don’t think they work well with this gown. If anything, they call more attention to the fact that the gown is decidedly not-punk.
dress, pants, purse, and shoes by Jason Wu, jewelry by Delfina Delettrez
Props for all the ladies who wore pants/dress hybrids – and there were a few – but I just didn’t find this one aesthetically pleasing. The bodice looked overworked, the peplum looked like an afterthought, and the styling doesn’t work particularly well at all.
gown by Proenza Schouler, jewelry by Repossi
Shame on you, Ms. Sevigny. You of all people should have been on this red carpet pantless with only a British flag on one breast and fishnets everywhere else and a purple mohawk. You’re one of the only people crazy enough for those kinds of shenanigans, so even your torn-apart see-through gown is underwhelming in comparison.
gown by Jason Wu, jewelry by Robert Lee Morris, purse by Tonya Hawkes, shoes by Casadei
I love the red streaks in her hair, but I don’t think this look is daring enough. And I think the proportions of this gown are kind of awkward and not particularly flattering.
gown by Zac Posen
If you’re going to wear a gown that’s completely ugly, it better be something punk, and this is NOT. There are mermaid gowns, and then there are gowns that literally turn you into a sea creature. This is the latter.
dress by Topshop, jewelry by Jacob & Co., purse by Calvin Klein, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti
This looks like a cheap Halloween costume.
dress by Marios Schwab, shoes by Barbara Bui
The dress could have worked if the accessories were either more formal, more punk, or both. But as is, Aubrey looks like she’s at an entirely different event than everyone else. And her event doesn’t look nearly as fun.
gown by Chanel
Let us all come together to express our huge disappointment in Anna Wintour for completely wimping out on the theme. I didn’t expect her hair to look like Miley’s, but I expected her to do something. And instead, she wore the same exact thing she always wears, but in a cheerful floral print. And that’s just the lamest thing I can imagine, dear readers. I also fear that, since Kim and Kanye dined at Anna’s house the night before the event, Anna’s florals had something to do with this:
Worst Dressed: KIM KARDASHIAN and KANYE WEST
Kim’s gown and gloves and Kanye’s suit by Givenchy by Riccardo Tisci, Kim’s jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz
There are so many fucking flowers, they have literally taken over Kim’s entire body and swallowed her hands. I don’t even understand where the idea for this came from or how anyone along the way approved any part of this. Oh, and Kanye looks like a priest.