Best Dressed: SARAH JESSICA PARKER
headdress by Philip Treacy, gown by Giles Deacon, jewelry by Fred Leighton, boots by Christian Louboutin
You have to give it to SJP – she committed to the punk theme like few others did. This ridiculously exquisite gown was my Fall 2013 red carpet prediction for Kerry Washington, and I just love that abstract print on SJP. The thigh-high tartan boots were by far my favorite part of the look – everything else was cool and interesting, but the boots made the look complete for me. And her crown/mohawk hybrid led to the best photobomb in the history of the Met Gala, or possibly the world:
Yes, that is Jennifer Lawrence. And yes, she is amazing.
Runner-Up: CARA DELEVIGNE
gown, purse, and shoes by Burberry, jewelry by Dominic Jones
I FUCKING LOVE this gown. The sloppy hair combined with the heavy eyeliner is perfect for the event, and all her jewelry is awesome. Head-to-toe commitment to the theme. Plus, she was photographed with a bag of white powder falling out of her purse the day before the Met Gala, which is fairly punk rock.
Honorable Mention: KATE BOSWORTH
dress by Balmain, shoes by Salvatore Ferragamo
This dress is a total dream on her. The color is phenomenal and the embellishments are so cool, I just don’t want to stop looking at her. She could have gone way further with the styling, but the dress itself is cooler than 95% of everything else on the red carpet.
gown, purse, and shoes by Givenchy by Riccardo Tisci
Penelope Cruz wore this gown two years ago, and I really wanted Rooney to wear something I’d never seen or even thought of on the red carpet before. But I can’t say she doesn’t look 100% flawless. She has done these dramatic Givenchy gowns before, but never with the same punch as this. I’m struggling to see anything punk about it other than the attitude Rooney brings to everything, but it’s dramatic and the attention to detail is impeccable.
DIANE KRUGER and JOSHUA JACKSON
Diane’s gown by Chanel, jewelry by Jacob & Co.; Joshua’s suit by Christian Dior
I think the dress is kind of – not frumpy, but a little too stuffy for this event. The purse and the cuff were some of the best accessories of the night, and Joshua looks kind of like a sailor, but sort of in an event-appropriate way? Does that make any sense at all? Probably not, but the red socks are cool. Plus, Diane was one of several starlets to sport ridiculous ear adornments:
I don’t even know what you call that thing, but I like it. And I like the idea of the pink in her hair, but it’s a bit half-assed.
dress, pants, purse, and shoes by Giambattista Valli, jewelry by Fred Leighton
Ms. Biel, like a few other ladies, rocked a gown/pants combo that I actually found really interesting and cool. And those are two words I pretty much never associate with Jessica’s wardrobe. I wish she had actually gone for cooler accessories instead of Hollywood-glam diamonds, and she’s in desperate need of a necklace, but I thought it was a surprisingly strong look from her.
gown by Prabal Gurung, jewelry by Fred Leighton
It’s not particularly punk, but it’s Hermione in a sexy cut-out gown, and that’s a rebellion in itself. She looks amazing, the crooked T-strap shoes are just perfect, and the one earring is fun. She really needed to carry a funky clutch or throw on some amazing bracelets, though.
dress by Burberry, purse by Edie Parker, shoes by Gianvito Rossi
Wouldn’t it have been too hilarious to see Lady Mary with a nose ring and a pink mohawk or something? Ah, well, a girl can dream. Ms. Dockery actually looks totally fabulous. The combination of the shiny sort of snake-print dress, the shiny black nails, and the metallics in the necklace and purse is just really gorgeous. But like most of the ladies on the red carpet, she could have punked this up easily with a better pair of shoes.
dress and pants by Monique Lhuillier, jewelry by Kimberly McDonald, purse by Edie Parker, shoes by Rupert Sanderson
Am I insane for not hating this? At least in this context? I’d throw up myself if I saw her wear this anywhere else, but with the sexy shoes and the heavy eyeliner, she’s kind of pulling off this weird harness/crinoline/lace jumpsuit thing.
gown, purse, and shoes by Christian Dior
Seriously, Leelee? You could have gone so much further than this! Ugh, these starlets don’t know an opportunity when they see one, dear readers. This was the night to go completely insane and be rewarded for it! And they all shied away.
gown, jewelry, and purse by Chanel, shoes by Jimmy Choo
The eyeliner is fucking awesome, but the length of this dress is maybe the most awkward thing I’ve ever seen. I like the weird shoulders, but everything else about it just looks wrong, and not in a good way. And the purse, shoes, and jewelry are all wrong for the event.
gown, ear cuff, and shoes by Rodarte, jewelry by Van Cleef & Arpels
Lord only knows what Elle Fanning thinks “punk” means, but at least she committed to something, even if it’s not punk. The gown is a little craftsy for me, but the stupid eyeshadow is a blast.
dress, purse, and shoes by Christian Dior, jewelry by Chopard
WEAK. This isn’t even half-assed, it’s quarter-assed.
gown by Vera Wang, jewelry by Fred Leighton, purse by Roger Vivier, shoes by Christian Louboutin
It’s overdesigned, the prints aren’t particularly nice, and together, they’re kind of a mess. The shininess of the fabric also cheapens the look significantly.
gown and purse by Valentino
I really hate this. She gets a few points for being daring, but when you’re as overexposed in the media as Anne, you don’t need to literally overexpose yourself quite this much. And honestly, I think the hair is basically awful. She looks like Miley Cyrus’s mother.
gown and purse by Tory Burch
You can’t jam-pack all of the punkness of your outfit in between your eyeball and your eyebrow, Ginnifer. It really, really doesn’t work like that. When you pair that ill-advised eyeshadow with that truly terrifying hair and add a sparkly ball gown, you just look like your head is attached to the wrong body.
gown by Michael Kors, earrings by Dana Rebecca
How many more times are we going to see her in the same damn dress? Props for the hair, but oy, am I tired of this look on her.
gown by Diane von Furstenberg
This might be the least punk rock thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.
gown by Carolina Herrera, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz, purse by Fendi, shoes by Manolo Blahnik
There’s just not a single thing about this I like.
gown by Altuzarra
Allison, you need to cut whoever did this to you out of your life, and cut them out forever. Something this atrocious must be a criminal offense. It’s just a nightmare.
Worst Dressed: GWYNETH PALTROW
gown by Valentino
She’s just the worst.