Let’s hit the red carpet and start judging, dear readers. 

EMMY ROSSUM in New York City
gown and purse by Carolina Herrera

Feminine and romantic, yet unique and surprising. That’s Emmy Rossum at her absolute best. As she takes more and more fashion risks, Emmy is becoming one of my favorite celebrities to follow on the red carpet. Besides, anyone else would look pretty stupid in those giant-ass flowers.

HELEN MIRREN in Los Angeles
gown and purse by Elie Saab, jewelry by David Webb

A goddess amongst mere mortals, Helen Mirren kills it on the red carpet yet again. This time, she’s working a gorgeous emerald Elie Saab gown that perfectly combines her sexy-but-classy style. I don’t like the coral cuff over her sleeve, and the skirt could be an inch shorter, but everything else is flawless.

HELEN MIRREN in New York City
dress and shoes by Tory Burch, cardigan by Kate Spade

You can’t fault a woman in her sixties for wearing a grandma sweater, and besides, those absolutely killer shoes prove that Helen is anything but an old lady when it comes to style. And that dress belongs in everyone’s closet, from ages four to a hundred and four. It’s just classic and so easy to wear.

DIANE KRUGER in Hollywood
top and skirt by Emanuel Ungaro, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Make that slit start about two inches lower, and this might be my favorite outfit EVER. The color palette is beyond fantastic, and the prints and colorblocking are mixed expertly. Keeping the shoes simple but utterly fabulous was a brilliant styling choice.

NICOLE KIDMAN in Berlin
dress by Elie Saab, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Hate the hair, but that dress looks like it was made for her, and the shoes are absolutely stunning. Every celebrity on the face of the earth has worn white shoes this summer, but these actually made me do a little gay gasp. Is there a higher compliment on earth, dear readers?

DITA VON TEESE in Las Vegas
gown by Jenny Packham, shoes by Christian Louboutin

The shoes are a little predictable, but the gown is so Dita, I’m shocked she hasn’t worn it before. (I sort of feel like she has.) And the purse is vintage-fabulous.

HAILEE STEINFELD at Comic-Con
dress by Kenzo, shoes by Christian Louboutin

If you’re a sixteen-year-old starlet at Comic-Con, this crazy little eye-print dress is like, the ONLY thing you should be wearing. It’s brilliantly weird and fun, though I don’t love the cage booties with it.

MILEY CYRUS in New York City
top and skirt by Marc Jacobs, jewelry by Jennifer Meyer

My brain is still having trouble reconciling itself with the fact that Miley Cyrus is kind of fucking awesome. Just today, I saw a quote from her about people thinking she’s a lesbian because of her haircut. Her response was basically, “if they’re trying to use that as an insult, joke’s on them, because it’s not.” Add that to her pretty unstoppable summer style (save for a pair of hybrid sweatpant-jeans or two), and she’s somehow morphed from Disney child robot into chick I’d sort of love to party with.

MILEY CYRUS in New York City
dress by Chanel

Trendy little Miley has been rocking those white pumps all summer long, and I can’t get sick of them, not when she keeps pairing them with classic yet modern black-and-white looks. I mean, I’m not sure Coco Chanel intended Miley to go bra-less in this particular look, but welcome to the 21st century, Coco. She’s just being Miley.

MIRANDA KERR in Narita, Japan
dress by Wes Gordon, purse by Samantha Thavasa, shoes by Bionda Castana

This is what Miranda Kerr looks like getting OFF an overseas flight. WHAT THE FUCK, UNIVERSE. How is that even POSSIBLE? I look like death warmed over after traveling, and even if I had Miranda’s unstoppable wardrobe and a team of makeup artists to redo my face while I’m passed out and drooling because I can’t fly without Xanax, there’s no way I could dream of looking this good getting off a plane.

SALMA HAYEK in New York City
dress by Christopher Kane, shoes by McQ by Alexander McQueen

I fucking LOVE this dress. What a perfect little summer dress, though I’d wear it without the belt. The shoes just seem unnecessarily sweaty, but I’m in D.C., where the heat index is over 100 and the humidity is approximately 8 billion percent. So to me, wearing anything beyond boxers and an unreasonably oversized tee shirt seems impossible at the moment.

SALMA HAYEK in New York City
dress by Saint Laurent

Eh. It’s got one too many design elements, and the accessories lack any imagination, so it’s somehow overworked and boring at the same time. It’s difficult to manage both simulataneously, so points for multitasking, I guess?

JESSICA ALBA in Los Angeles
skirt by Carolina Herrera, shoes by Brian Atwood

I don’t know, you guys. I thought I liked this at first, but the more I look at it, the less I think that blazer should have been paired with that skirt, or anything with a round shape. Its curvy detailing on the bottom makes me feel like it would have looked best with something structured, like skinny jeans. The yellow shoes and coral top matching the skirt make her look like a kindergarten art teacher. I feel like I’m always saying this about Jessica’s looks, but while I like all these pieces individually, I think they’re kind of a mess together.

BLAKE LIVELY in New York City
top and skirt by Burberry, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz, shoes by Christian Louboutin

The skirt is absolutely magnificent, but there’s literally nothing else about this look that goes with that beautiful piece. I hate the silly putty shoes, the flimsy, completely unremarkable tank, and the general lack of styling.

OLIVIA MUNN in New York City
dress by Thakoon Addition, purse by Jimmy Choo, shoes by Rupert Sanderson

The dress is cute, but the heavy makeup takes away from the lightness of the rest of the look. And is she wearing off-white shoes with a white dress, or is the lighting just bad? Because that’s just not a look that works on anybody.

KRISTEN WIIG in New York City
dress by Viktor & Rolf, purse by Roger Vivier, shoes by Nicholas Kirkwood

Same complaint as above – are those shoes ever-so-slightly pinkish, or is the lighting just making them look not-white? It’s a problem, dear readers. As is this shapeless potato sack of a dress.

KATE MOSS in London
dress by Prada, purse by Kate Moss for Longchamp, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Love the shoes, and I would probably really enjoy this look on anyone else, but I’ve never understood the appeal of Kate Moss. Also, if I were posing in front of a giant pop art version of my face, I would look a lot more excited than that.

VANESSA HUDGENS in London
jumpsuit by Jenny Packham, purse by Jimmy Choo, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

Listen, Vanessa. I so appreciate that you’re slowly growing out of that dirty hippie phase that has made me blog about your wardrobe as little as possible over the last few years. You’ve made strides, truly. But Blanche from Golden Girls called, and she knows you stole her favorite bedazzled jumpsuit, and she is PISSED.

JENNIFER LOPEZ in Miami
dress by Zuhair Murad, earrings by Swarovski, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

Like most things J.Lo wears, that dress is a lot to take in, though I might actually like it if she wasn’t wearing an additional fifty pounds of gold and metallic jewelry on top of it. But honey, please fire your makeup artist, because that nude lipstick is doing nothing for you.

ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELEY in Hayman Island, Australia
top and skirt by Calvin Klein, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

This might be the most awkwardly-proportioned look I’ve seen in quite awhile. And if the proportions don’t work on a fucking MODEL, who will they work on? The hair and makeup certainly aren’t helping things, but I don’t think there was any saving this look.

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© Democracy Diva, 2013.
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