Happy Monday, divas! It’s time for your not-so-regularly-scheduled bitchfest.  

JESSICA CHASTAIN at the San Sebastian Film Festival
dress by Dsquared², shoes by Christian Louboutin

The colors are magnetic. The print is mind-blowing. The shoes are giving me multiple orgasms.

JESSICA CHASTAIN at the San Sebastian Film Festival
dress by Oscar de la Renta

The makeup is a touch too heavy, and I’m not completely sold on the hair, but the dress is sweet as can be. And the mega-shiny black Loubs complement it perfectly.

KERRY WASHINGTON in New York City
dress by Preen, purse by Thalé Blanc, shoes by Christian Louboutin

J’adore the matchy-matchy patriotism of this outfit which really only works if you’re on a DC-set TV drama. The dotted white clutch blending in with the print of the dress? I really shouldn’t love it as much as I do. BUT I DO. Mainly because the Scandal premiere was AWESOME.

KERRY WASHINGTON in New York City
dress by Prabal Gurung, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Flirty and chic, and I’m not even bothered by the peplum! I must be weakening in my old age.

KERRY WASHINGTON in New York City
dress by Giles, purse and shoes by Roger Vivier

Nope, nevermind. You get one peplum per week, Kerry. Otherwise Regina George kicks you out of the Plastics.

KERRY WASHINGTON in New York City
dress by Giles, shoes by Casadei

Kerry designed that purse for a domestic violence charity, so I am not allowed to complain about it. But it would have looked better with a different outfit. I do love the purple suede shoes, though.

LÉA SEYDOUX in Paris
dress, purse, and shoes by Miu Miu

The military-goes-glam vibe of this coat-dress is SO working. And the tangerine accessories are fucking flawless.

ROSAMUND PIKE in New York City
coat and shoes by Marni, dress by Louis Vuitton

As a general rule, I hate nude outfits, but this is so elegant and stunning that for once I’ll just shut the fuck up.

CIARA at the Lanvin show
coat by Lanvin

It kind of looks like a couture trash bag. And I still don’t know whether or not that’s a compliment.

CHLOË MORETZ in New York City
sweater and skirt by Kenzo

Are military buttons the new (well, not NEW, but popular-again) trend? I support it. Sometimes it can go a little too nautical, but this skirt is just perfect for her. And I am truly obsessed with that striped sweater.

MARION COTILLARD at the Christian Dior show
dress by Christian Dior

I’d have loved to see her in something a bit more surprising, but it is virtually impossible to convince a French actress not to wear black to a fashion show. And for good reason. It’s simple, but there’s no way she didn’t pull every single eye in the room.

JULIANNE MOORE in New York City
gown by Rodarte

One or two fewer details and a tad less confused draping, and this would have been a runaway hit. As is, she looks beautiful, but maybe also like she’s stuck inside a fabric roll.

DAKOTA FANNING at the Christian Dior show
dress by Christian Dior

I only sort of understand what this dress-cape-thing even is. Also, would it kill this girl to change up her hair once in awhile? The only person more devoted than Dakota to never changing her goddamn hairstyle is Ariana Grande.

BRITNEY SPEARS in Oberhausen, Germany
suit by Michael Costello, blouse by Maje, shoes by Aldo

Britney looks kind of normal now, you guys. I didn’t even know that was possible. Don’t get me wrong – she looks more like a well-dressed 60-year-old woman in Miami than she does like a well-dressed 32-year-old celebrity, but I’ll take it.

SARAH JESSICA PARKER in New York City
gown by Mary Katrantzou

I read rave reviews for this all over the internet, and I still don’t really understand why. I don’t hate it, I just think it’s too long and kind of strange and will she EVER wear less than 6,000 bracelets at a time?

LEIGHTON MEESTER in Tokyo
dress by Emilio Pucci, shoes by Jimmy Choo

I love me some Leighton Meester, but her hair is a cry for help, and her dress isn’t much better.

CATE BLANCHETT in Zurich, Switzerland
dress by Stella McCartney, shoes by Roger Vivier

Where have you gone, Cate Blanchett? I can deal with the top half of this, but it descends into utter madness somewhere around the giant skirt-pockets and awkward length. I expect more from a magical centaur like you, Cate.

CATE BLANCHETT in Zurich, Switzerland
dress by Christian Dior, shoes by Roger Vivier

I really want to like this. I am a huge supporter of needlessly weird fashion, because it gives me something to talk about. But she’s gone way past needlessly weird and is now staunchly in Pilgrim-raincoat-with-a-child’s-belt territory. Oh, well. At least the shoes are magnificent.

OLIVIA PALERMO at the Christian Dior show
coat, sunglasses, and purse by Christian Dior, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Throw all of your accessories away. And don’t even think of showing up on a red carpet until you have written a formal apology to me for the tassels on your shoes.

KANYE WEST and KIM KARDASHIAN at the Balmain show
Kim’s dress, jewelry, and shoes by Balmain

I know you two must get this all the time, but I just have to say it – you’re the worst.

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© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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