The AMAs were last weekend, and we have yet to discuss the assorted fashion disasters that music’s icons bestowed upon us.
dress by Peter Pilotto, purse by Reece Hudson, shoes by Nicholas Kirkwood
It fulfills all the requirements of dressing for music awards shows: bright, statement-making, and revealing. And because it’s Elizabeth Banks, it’s all executed flawlessly. Throw on an orange wig and matching eyelashes and four-inch nails, and you’ve got Effie Trinket at the AMAs.
dress by Alexander Wang, shoes by Manolo Blahnik
I actually love how simple this look is. It’s Nicki’s way of saying “I am now too famous to have to resort to bullshit gimmicks to get people to pay attention to me.” She could have switched out the basic black pumps for a more exciting pair of shoes, but I’m obsessed with how much this little dress brings the drama.
suit by Prabal Gurung
I don’t have a clue who this is – Wikipedia tells me she’s a model – but I don’t care. This suit is fucking fantastic. The exposed bra is event-appropriate, the colorblocking is fantastic, and the lapel is to die for.
gown by Michael Kors
It’s got more illusion netting than an ice skating costume and it kind of makes her look like Gumby, but it could be worse. (And most AMAs attendees were, indeed, worse.)
gown by Zac Posen
Love the color and the neckline; hate the fit and the hemline, which makes her look like a banana peel. At least she put the effort in. The pickings were slim this year, dear readers.
dress by Vera Wang
Cute enough, but she’s pushing her music career so hard that you’d think she’d try to stand out a little more at a music event. Even a very nice little black dress still won’t pull every eye on a red carpet like this one.
gown by Halston Heritage
Serving up Diana Ross realness. It’s not revolutionary, but I’ll accept it.
gown by Alice + Olivia, purse by Rauwolf
I’ve never heard of this girl either, but I like her style instincts. Cut a few feet off the length, though, and it would have felt much more event-appropriate.
gown by Kaufmanfranco, necklace by Bulgari
This is pretty much the only thing Kate Beckinsale ever wears.
gown by Halston Heritage
Fergie is slowly morphing into Donatella Versace. Or maybe Janice from the Muppets. (Same difference, really.)
top and skirt by Versace
It’s actually refreshing to see her in a new silhouette, but I can’t say I actually like this. It’s all very cartoonish, and the shoes push her over the edge into anime.
gown, belt, and shoes by Lanvin
Love the eagle belt, but this is so not the gown for the occasion. Unless you’re a 50-year-old pop star.
dress by Vivienne Westwood, purse by Lee Savage, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti
I love me some Crazy Eyes on the red carpet, but this isn’t all that memorable.
dress by Vionnet, purse by Lee Savage, shoes by Brian Atwood
And there must have been something in the water on the Orange is the New Black set, because Piper looks just as boring. And also like she put an apron on sideways.
gown by Vivienne Westwood
gown by Zuhair Murad
I’ve always hated her, and I think she’s one of the few celebrities who could wear anything in the universe and I will still hate it. I have my prejudices, but at least I’m honest about them. Julianne Hough is just the worst.
dress by Marchesa
This is horrifying. Shelf this one for Halloween, Dianna. It has no place in your actual wardrobe. Especially that terrifying hair.
KENDALL JENNER, KHLOÉ KARDASHIAN, and KYLIE JENNER
Kendall’s gown by Yigal Azrouël
Khloé’s dress by Versus Versace
Kylie’s gown by Alexandre Vauthier, purse by Alexander McQueen
Kendall actually looks pretty good, now that she’s a successful model and designers actually want to dress her. Khloe is whatever, and Kylie looks like she grabbed one of her big sisters’ gowns by mistake.
dress by Reem Acra, purse by Oroton, shoes by Christian Louboutin
I don’t think there are words in the English language to describe how much I detest this.
coat, top, and pants by Georgine
Ladies and gentlemen…. CHER!
gown by Armani Privé
She might as well carry around a neon sign that says “I SHOULD HAVE WORN A BRA.”