The Month in Celebrity Fashion: Part II

Because you can’t get enough celebrity fashion – enjoy Part II of The Month in Celebrity Fashion!

Lady Gaga in a chastity belt

Lady Gaga once had an excellently absurd quote that she was afraid to have sex with men because she feared her creativity would escape out of her vagina. Well, Gaga, I guess you’ve solved that problem!

President Obama with First Lady Michelle Obama in Naeem Khan at the Kennedy Center Honors in Washington, DC

Whoa, MObama! This is the best the First Lady has looked in quite awhile. I absolutely love this gown and I think it was the perfect choice for the always fabulous Michelle Obama. They really do make a beautiful couple.

Prince William with Kate Middleton in Reiss

Speaking of beautiful couples, here’s the official engagement photos of Prince Will and No-Longer-Waity Katie. I’m still drooling over the fact that this girl gets to wear Princess Di’s ring. She’s absolutely stunning, and looks like the pretty princess she soon will be in this inexpensive white Issa dress.

Olivia Wilde in Emilio Pucci at the Hollywood premiere of TRON: Legacy

Kristen Bell at the London premiere of Burlesque

Who wears a lab coat to the Burlesque premiere? Unless this is an homage to Brad and Janet’s lab coats in Rocky Horror, this is unacceptable to wear to such a dragtastic movie premiere. Cher’s 60 years old and still wore nothing (see below). Kristen, live a little. Wear a corset.

Gwen Stefani in Prada at the Kennedy Center Honors in Washington, DC

Like Christina Aguilera, Gwen Stefani seems to turn into a drag version of herself as she ages. This look is a little much, even for Gwen. She looks like a coked-out Disney princess.

Julie Bowen at the final broadcast of Larry King Live

Claire Dunphy is totally smokin’. It’s easy to forget this when she often shares the screen with Sofia Vergara’s breasts, but Julie Bowen is a total goddess. I’m not sure why there was a red carpet for the final broadcast of Larry King Live, but she’s nailing it.

Krysten Ritter in Alberta Ferreti at the Hollywood Style Awards

Remember this girl? She’s kind of in nothing and everything. You might recognize her from Gilmore Girls, Gap ads, random rom-coms, and the like. But I always thought she looks like Anne Hathaway’s less-beautiful sister, which I sort of dug. Anyway, this actually looks really beautiful on her porcelain skin. I actually think I own a Forever 21 dress with a knockoff of this print on it. Anyway, she may be a Z list celebrity, but if she keeps dressing like this, I think I could accept her actually becoming a person.

Emma Stone in a Roksanda Ilincic dress and Brian Atwood pumps at a Trevor Project event in Hollywood

Emma Stone is blonde, and I’m not happy. I know it’s for a role, but when fellow firecrotch Lindsay Lohan went blonde, she looked like shit and proved definitively that other than Nicole Kidman, natural redheads should not go blonde. Now Emma Stone just looks like a much healthier version of LiLo. Anyway, the dress is sort of cute. A little craftsy, Tim Gunn might say it looks like student work, but she’s working it.

Darren Criss at a Trevor Project event in Hollywood

When are they making him a full-time Glee cast member? This kid is unstoppably adorable.

And in case that photo isn’t gay enough for you…

Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Neil Patrick Harris, and Darren Criss at a Trevor Project event

The three cutest gays on television, promoting a great cause. What could be better?

Anna Kendrick in Zuhair Murad at a Trevor Project event in Hollywood

Anna Kendrick loves her skin-tone dresses, and I’m sick of it. I’m not loving the way the strap forms a sort of sling around her boob. This is just so pale and washed-out. Bring a little joy into the wardrobe, Anna.

Christina Ricci in Zac Posen at the New York Stage & Film gala

For me, this is the glammed-up version of Anna Kendrick’s dress. Same concept, with the cream color fading into grey, and it even keeps that sling-over-the-boobs idea, but this is so much more stylish. The black really adds some volume to the dress, and Christina’s hair and makeup have never looked better. Loving the glamorous bracelet and earrings, too.

Victoria Beckham in her own design at the British Fashion Awards

Oh, good lord. I still don’t understand why people think she a) looks good in clothes or b) makes clothes that look good. This photo is proof that neither is true. I worry that her skin is just going to melt off her face (if she doesn’t die from starvation first).

Fergie in Jimmy Choo shoes in London

I want to make a furry/Fergie pun, but they all sound awful, so I’ll spare you. Ferg, nix the spray tan and the green hairy coat. Your feet shouldn’t be a different color than your legs, and your coat shouldn’t be the same color as split pea soup.

Rachel Bilson in Christian Dior at the Spike TV Video Game Awards

This is why Rachel Bilson is my girl. She can take a little prairie dress and make it look trendy yet effortless. Do I spot little bows on the ankles of those shoes? If so, I WANT. And I’m glad the styling is minimal – nobody wants to look too dressed up for the Spike TV Video Game Awards.

Cher in Julien MacDonald at the London premiere of Burlesque

All hail Cher, who can do whatever the fuck she wants, because she’s Cher. She looks like Florence Welch’s slutty, dramatic mother. She also looks phenomenal for her age.

Cher in Julien MacDonald at the London premiere of Burlesque

Because who says you can’t wear a 100% see-through dress at 60?

Taylor Swift in Jenny Packham at the CMT Artists of the Year awards

I love Taylor Swift’s hair. It’s always been beautiful, but those very long blonde curls she rocked were very girly and immature. Now the hair is darker and redder and T-Swift is playing with fun lengths and styles, and she’s never looked better. Still gorgeous, but a more mature gorgeous.

Jessica Simpson in Mondo Guerra

A big “fuck you” to the Project Runway judges, because we’re all still in denial that Mondo lost to Gretchen. Jessica’s t-shirt is straight out of Mondo’s finale collection, and she’s rocking it with her shrunken blazer, giant purse, jeans, and boots. Perfect starlet-in-the-airport style, and the best this girl has looked in years.

Christina Hendricks in CH Carolina Herrera

The fabric is gorgeous, but could there be a less flattering silhouette? Joan looks downright dumpy, when she’s actually a fox. Just another case of a designer who can’t make clothes for real women.

Elisabeth Moss in Bibhu Mohapatra at the International Emmy Awards in New York

Okay, Peggy, I get that you’re recently divorced and discovering how totally cute you are now that the Mad Men team has finally started letting you look attractive. But that’s no excuse for those hair extensions. Those need to go immediately. The dress is nice, but it’s another case of a pale girl getting washed out by her pale dress. I love the lace on the shoulder, though.

January Jones at Donatella Versace's Fashion Fund launch

Betty Draper, eat a sandwich.

Ashley Olsen in a Balenciaga sweater at Google's boutiques.com launch party in New York

I’m obsessed. Great colors, perfect fall-winter transition, simple and lovely hair and makeup. Not a fan of the shoes, but I’d love to curl up in that fabulous peach sweater.

Chloe Sevigny at the New York premiere of Somewhere

Say what you will about Nikki Grant, but at least the girl wears pants. Seriously, Chloe, I love shirts as dresses as much as the next girl, but this is dumb. And you’re ruining a totally cute shirt.

Joel Madden with Nicole Richie in Marchesa

Apparently Joel Madden and Nicole Richie weren’t married already, which I totally did not know. And apparently they did get married, or have one of their wedding ceremonies, or something like that. Anyway, this is one of her wedding dresses, and I think it’s phenomenal. I’m so glad it’s not a saggy-silky flapper dress like she and Rachel Zoe tend to wear. I love the long-sleeved lace, how tight it is on her teeny little frame, and the giant skirt that only works on a woman as skinny as a model. It’s a truly fabulous dress.

© Democracy Diva, 2010.

The Week(s) in Celebrity Fashion: Halloween Edition!

The eve of bitchery is upon us! This Diva is bringing you all the hottest fashion on the red carpet and the big screen, with just a bit of Halloween flavor. I know it’s been well over a week since the last so-called weekly fashion recap, but I’m a busy little future lawyer, so forgive me, dear readers, and enjoy a LOT of fabulous.

Tina Fey in Andy & Debb at the Megamind premiere

Hello, Liz Lemon! The straight hair is a bit severe for Tina’s features, but the dress is pretty fierce and flatters her figure beautifully. Love the dramatic cocktail ring, but I wouldn’t have chosen black tights.

Left:Fleur's wedding gown in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part I. Right: Alexander McQueen Fall 2008

What’s the biggest drama bringing together the worlds of couture and magic? As my fellow nerds are well aware, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part I premieres this month (omfg so excited). So what’s the controversy? There’s Gossip Girl‘s Clemence Poesy in the role that made her not famous, Fleur Delacour, marrying Bill Weasley (the eldest son of our favorite magical red-headed family) in a dress that looks uncannily similar to an Alexander McQueen gown from Fall 2008. Does Team Potter owe an explanation to Team McQueen? I love the idea of a hot witch in high fashion, but Fleur Delacour-Weasley definitely did not get that gown from Madam Malkin’s Robes shop. (Oh, yeah. I know the name of the robes shop in Diagon Alley.)

Jennifer Lopez in Zuhair Murad at the Carousel of Hope Gala

She wore this to a gala? Perhaps if it were ten years ago and she was running around a stage lip-synching “Waiting for Tonight,” this would be an appropriate costume, but you can’t expect me to believe she wore this as a dress. As eveningwear, no less. Johnny Weir called; he wants his queertastic skating outfit back.

Yes, Selena Gomez, I’m talking to you as well:

Selena Gomez performing at a Las Vegas benefit

Who are you, Katy Perry at a Christmas party? But at least she has the Vegas excuse, where anything goes. She looks downright demure next to some of the get-ups you find in those parts.

Mila Kunis in Monique Lhuillier at the 14th Annual Hollywood Awards Gala

Simple and fierce; proof that minimalism can be more fabulous than all the accessories in the world.

Carey Mulligan in Giles at the 14th Annual Hollywood Awards Gala

And then, a reminder of how ugly minimalism can be. I don’t know what’s worse: the hair, the makeup, the choice of accessories, or the sad, droopy draping on that dress. This looks like Gretchen Jones and Michael Costello teamed up for an eveningwear challenge, and that’s about as big an insult as I can think of.

But Carey mostly made up for it with this look…

Carey Mulligan in Preen at the BAFTA Los Angeles 2010 Britannia Awards

But lord, do I hate those shoes. They look like the shoes Drew Barrymore wore to like, ten different events in two weeks, just in a way tackier color. However, the hair has seriously improved. Tom & Lorenzo have blogged about this very problem, in which cute starlets get adorable pixie cuts that look perfect until they start to grow out. And then we all have to endure months of their hair looking like shit. But some extra-hold gel took care of that, and the dress is gorgeous.

Snooki, Queen of the Pickles

No words. Just amazing.

Leighton Meester in Elie Saab at the 14th Annual Hollywood Awards Gala

Leighton should know by now that when it comes to hair and makeup, less is more. I think she’s always more beautiful when she doesn’t let the makeup artist go so heavy-handed. I also want to slap the moron who approved those shoes with that dress, and this is also ice skating costume territory (seriously, starlets, what’s going on with that?). But at a minimum, I love the top half of the dress.

What else does Leighton have to say?

Leighton Meester in Giambattista Valli at FGI's Annual Night of Stars

BOOM. Fabulous. I remember this Spring 2011 dress well; I had it in my original Red Carpet Predictions post, but couldn’t find the starlet to pair it to. Ms. Meester is rocking this adorable little color-blocked cocktail dress, although the fit around the bust is a little odd. The accessories are simple and chic, and the hair and makeup is still dramatic, but more natural and youthful.

Janet Jackson at the New York City premiere of For Colored Girls

I’m sorry, Ms. Jackson. Are you for real?

Eva Mendes in Gucci at the Rome Film Festival

Boring, but beautiful. It could use a better hemline, though.

Tara Reid as Train Wreck Barbie?

This was Tara Reid’s Halloween costume, though I’m not sure how we’re supposed to differentiate it from Tara Reid on a Tuesday.

Padma Lakshmi in New York

On the Finale: Part I of Project Runway Season 8, Heidi criticized Gretchen for a dress with this same strange design element in back, arguing that no woman would wear it. I don’t usually come to Gretchen’s defense, but this is proof that someone wears that. Boom. Lawyered.

Kate Mara at the Beverly Hills premiere of 127 Hours

It took me days of staring at this picture to figure out why this girl looked so familiar: she played Heath Ledger’s daughter in Brokeback Mountain. Apparently she’s in 127 Hours, which a movie I can’t wait to see even though I’ll probably vomit during it. Anyway, she officially has the right to exist according to this Diva, because this little dress is too cute. The necklace is fierce, the Louboutins are fab, and she’s a gorgeous woman. Keep it up, newbie.

And across the country, but at the same film premiere:

Jennifer Missoni at the New York premiere of 127 Hours

She’s related to, though not the creator of, the Missoni brand, she’s model-gorgeous, and this dress is funky and adorable.

Rosario Dawson in Stella McCartney at the Los Angeles premiere of Unstoppable

Ooof, Rosario. That hem? Seriously? And that color? And that shoulder? And those shoes? I can’t handle any of it. Please redeem yourself as soon as possible.

Rosario Dawson in Christian Siriano at the BAFTA Los Angeles 2010 Britannia Awards

Well, she reedemed herself. It’s not perfect, but it’s further proof of the beauty of simplicity. Love the accessories.

Christian Siriano as the Feather Duster from Beauty and the Beast at Heidi Klum's 11th annual Halloween party

Yes, that is Christian Siriano. As that slutty French feather dusty from Beauty and the Beast. One of the best Halloween costumes I’ve ever seen.

Christina Ricci in Marchesa at the 26th annual Artios Awards

I blogged about this dress during Fall 2010 Fashion Week, but I’m not sure I love it as much in the real world as I did on the runway. I think the black tights are too much; they bring it down into a young ballerina place. But otherwise, she looks pretty damn beautiful.

Reese Witherspoon in Jason Wu at the Avon Foundation for Women Gala

Fabulous, fabulous, fabulous. Definitely one of my favorite random red carpet looks of the past few months.

Michelle Monaghan in Versace at the Due Date premiere

Simple and sexy as hell. The nude shoe trend on the red carpet might be played out by now, but I absolutely adore the way the shoes match her skin tone – except for the Louboutin red stiletto, which matches the dress. Dramatic, statement-making, but minimalist. I love it.

And in case you were curious, the Project Runway finale poll results were even more pro-Mondo than I anticipated:

An astonishing 96% of you wanted Mondo for the win. Let’s just forget this season ever happened, dear readers.

© Democracy Diva, 2010.

Red Carpet Redux: Best and Worst

I can’t even pretend to call these fashion recaps “weekly” anymore, because I’ve been such a slacker this summer. But better late than never, my darlings.

The Future of Fashion

 

Sometimes I look at Miley Cyrus and Taylor Momsen and I weep for the future, for today’s tweens who will have no fashion icons of their generation to worship when they are old enough for fashion to really matter. But Dakota Fanning always reminds me to believe in America’s youth, because she is fucking FABULOUS. First of all, she’s wearing a dress from Marchesa’s bridal collection, and she is wearing the hell out of it. I’d wear this to my wedding in a heartbeat, and even though Dakota’s wearing this to an awards ceremony and not a wedding, she doesn’t look like she’s in costume or out of place. The black peep toe heels are perfection. They keep the look funky and youthful, and bring a little hardness to such a romantic, breathtaking little dress. Also, let it not go unnoticed that this girl gets more and more beautiful with each passing day. Keep it up, Dakota. The children need you.

Taylor Swift in Galliano

And although she can be quite boring on the red carpet, kudos must be given to Ms. Taylor Swift for this little slice of heaven. The straight hair is a refreshing change – although my uber-judgmental eyes are spotted some seriously damaged split ends – and the dress is gorgeous. The belt buckle straps, the corset-style bodice, the way it flares at the waist, the color, the pattern – it’s all working for me. I’d wear the whole outfit, head-to-toe, in a heartbeat. And I dig the shoes – they keep it casual and youthful.

Miley Cyrus

And then I see this photo, and I lose all faith in humanity.

Another Failed Attempt at Couture

 

Marchesa is one of my favorite designers, and Kristen Stewart is one of my least favorite people, so pardon my incredible bias. BUT THIS GIRL SHOULD BE SHOT.

Okay, sorry, that was harsh. But why, God, why can’t Kristen Stewart just stick to things that are basic? Namely, things that look good on non-celebrities? Because K. Stew is no beauty, and you need to be seriously beautiful to pull off some of the craziness that is Marchesa. You also need to know how to stand up straight, how to keep your shoulders back, how to hide your weird, knobbly knees, how to smile… basically everything that Kristen Stewart fails most at. May this be a message to everyone: It’s good to take risks, but making an obvious reach far outside your comfort zone will rarely pay off.

The Fabulous Frocks of the First Lady

 

Hello, gorgeous! The FLOTUS sex-ed it up for real this week in this fabulous little dress. This is the thinnest she’s ever looked, and this dress hugs all her curves perfectly. I’m actually shocked to see her in something so form-fitting and sexy, because she’s usually more conservative when it comes to the actual fit of the garments. But may all of us have that waistline when we’re 46-year-old mothers of two.

First Lady Michelle Obama in Michael Kors

And Jackie O is reborn. This is classic Americana at its best. A gorgeous color and a great silhouette, and I love that MObama wears that double strand of pearls with everything. It keeps her looks classy and consistent.

Katy vs. Katy: The Battle of the Fugly

 

I’d like to begin by pointing out that this photo takes place at the finale of Germany’s Next Top Model. I’m not sure if that gives Katy a free pass, or just makes the whole already desperate outfit look even more depressing. I’ve already said more about how much I hate Katy Perry’s bangs than anyone should need to say, so let’s move right along to the dress. I believe Tim Gunn would say that this looks incredibly amateurish, like the dress a blind drag queen makes after his first fashion class in Tokyo. (Okay, maybe Mr. Gunn wouldn’t say that.)

But Katy, since you always insist on dressing like a complete fucking idiot, please just take some advice: Skintight plastic is not a good look for your curves, and the flats aren’t helping the situation. When wearing Rainbow Brite’s corset, make sure it flatters your butt and thighs a little more.

Katy Perry

She finally gets rid of those awful bangs, and from the neck up, Katy looks more beautiful than ever. But that dress… ohmygod. It looks like Johnny Weir got into a fight with a chainsaw. It’s just awful. But it does bring back fond memories of when I’d cut up my Brookdale Performing Arts Camp 1998 t-shirt and tie it back together up the sides, because I knew that style looked just as awesome on me when I was ten as it does on Katy now. Nobody is perfect, least of all the Democracy Diva, but at least I got over that particular fashion statement once I hit puberty. What’s Katy’s excuse?

Women Who Should Know Better

 

It pains me to see those little metal studs poking into her fat. Oh my God, J.Lo, just give it up. You’re not a 25-year-old dancer anymore, and wearing something like this basically screams, “I WISH I COULD HAVE MY YOUTH BACK!” And give me the name of whoever allowed you to wear this, because they need to be punched in the face immediately. You’ve had kids; there’s no reason for you to parade around in something like this and expect it to look good. I never expected you to age gracefully, but this is desperate even for a woman who married Ben Affleck AND Marc Anthony.

Khloe Kardashian

You know, I try not to be mean. Seriously, I know I write scathing things about basically every celebrity ever, but I try not to be cold-blooded about it, at least for most of them. But I nearly fell on the floor laughing at how awful Khloe looks here. My first reaction was just to cackle mercilessly about this hot mess of a woman, and honestly, can you blame me? Horizontal stripes, mostly invisible shoes, a sheer robe, and an expression like Kourtney’s water just broke all over her bare feet – it’s almost too bad to be true. This, ladies and gentlemen, is comedy gold.

Double Winner

Salma Hayek in Yves Saint Laurent

It’s a little bit sailor, borderline costumey, but I still think Salma Hayek looks unbelievable in this retro-style dress. The hair, makeup, and accessories all make her seem like she’s ready to perform at a USO show during World War II, but I actually find that really charming. I think a different color purse would have been better, but the look is fabulously tailored, meticulously styled, and altogether fabulous.

Salma Hayek in Alexander McQueen

Purr. Feck. Shun.

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