Your long-awaited Grammys red carpet recap is here! Don’t forget to check out the rest of my most recent posts: Red Carpet Predictions, and the Best of New York Fashion Week, not to mention the Celebs in the Front Rows of the runway shows, and your regular Weekly Celebrity Fashion Recap!

Without further ado…

BEST DRESSED: Rihanna in Christian Dior

An incredible gown from an incredible collection. I never thought I’d see the day when Rihanna topped my best-dressed list, but there you have it, dear readers. A home run.

Runway version:

Runner Up: Nicole Kidman in Jean Paul Gaultier

Though the bottom of that dress is borderline mermaid, which I cannot support, this dress is uncommonly beautiful, and this is the best I can remember Nicole looking in recent history.

Runway version:

Honorable Mention: Florence Welch in Givenchy

I hated this collection, but leave it to my hero Florence to change my mind. She wisely kept the accessories to a minimum, realizing that when you’re a six foot tall redhead in Givenchy haute couture, a few rings and a whole lot of attitude are the only accessories you need.

Runway version:

Great print and a fabulously flattering cut, but Lea Michele already wore this dress in green, to the 2010 SAG Awards:

So she loses points for lack of creativity. But Julianne still looks hot as hell.

As the night wore on, this dress wrinkled in an unflattering way, but it looks pretty close to flawless here. But another nude, shiny dress is a little too expected. I hope Selena goes for a serious color soon.

Runway version:

She should’ve kept the black sash instead of this matchy-matchy lilac one – it’s the difference between childish and chic. Not loving the shoes or the hair, but the color of this dress is awesome.

Runway version:

This print is mega-tacky, but let’s be honest, so is our girl Mercedes. She’s rocking it, and though critics panned that metal shoulder piece, I’m all about it. Her bod looks phenomenal and I dig the hair and makeup.

Speaking of phenomenal bods, Jennifer Hudson is literally half the size she used to be. The transformation is unbelievable. And after you lose a shit-ton of weight, what better way to show it off than in a shiny, tight Versace bodice? Again, it’s a little tacky, but you can’t say she doesn’t look hot in it. I think a softer shoe would have improved the look, and the stick-straight hair is totally over, but this girl can let it all hang out.

Runway version:

Not the stupidest thing she’s worn on the red carpet (remember this granny-panty disaster?), but it’s pretty dumb all the same. The skirt is great, but the top half is just a mess. And I think Eva Longoria might actually be the most boring woman alive.

Jenna tends to look like a complete idiot on the red carpet, so at least this is an improvement. But the girl does not have the build for these misshapen layered crinoline Marchesa-style cocktail dresses, and she needs to branch out into something that actually works for her.

Awful hair, made worse with a dress that is literally pooping fabric.

Dianna, the smoky eye thing does not work for you. You’re too porcelain and delicate. Let it go. Oh, and Helena Bonham Carter called; she wants her signature lumpy black Vivienne Westwood dress back. YA BURNT!

Glad to see she’s joined the Christina Aguilera school of thought – dress like the drag queen version of yourself. My girl Lea is loving her status as a sex symbol but doesn’t understand that you can celebrate your sexuality without an ass-high slit and tits-out gowns. The makeup is a total nightmare, and if she doesn’t stop with these long, layered/draped shirts, she will find herself facing the wrath of this Diva.

Runway version:

Jesus, Heidi. It’s only the Grammys, and you’re only a relevant attendee because of your husband. You don’t always have to dress like the show revolves around you. And those shoes were a mistake with that dress. And honey, a Victoria’s Secret model such as yourself should probably invest in a bra. And stop dressing like you’re Cher in Vegas.

This looks terrifyingly like a Kim Kardashian wax figure. There is nothing left on her body that looks naturally-made.

I can’t spend another post begging Christina to lose the red lips and the platinum hair. I just can’t. I know she’ll never learn.

J.Lo in the same dress she wears to every fucking event. SNOOZE.

There’s going wild because you’re a true fashionista, and there’s going wild because you know it’s the only reason people will give you the time of day. Guess one Nicki Minaj is?

Better yet, I watched Nicki tell E! on the red carpet that Givenchy custom-designed this couture look especially for her. But wait, if that’s true, then what could this be?

Oh, right. THE SAME EXACT FUCKING LOOK, head-to-toe, including the same gloves and shoes, from four years ago. What a poser.

I can’t decide what’s worse – the hair that she insists on using as a shield, like we won’t notice that she’s showing her tits if she covers them up with hair extensions; or the dress itself; or the bracelets, which were such a rookie mistake for a dress of this much shininess. Amazing how Amber Riley wore such a similar print but rocked it way harder than Miley.

Runway version:

Awful. Living proof of why I hate both Ciara and Emilio Pucci. And those shoes could not be any uglier.

Runway version:

Rihanna’s performance outfit was the best of the night, but her red carpet gown was one of the worst. If you have to spend the whole night adjusting your pipe cleaners so they cover your twat, YOU’RE WEARING THE WRONG DRESS.

Runway version:

Worst Dressed: Katy Perry in Armani

Angel wings, a diamond bra, and an iridescent skirt with a train fit for a tranny-queen? Sorry, Katy. Better luck next time.

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© Democracy Diva, 2011.