So little time, so many starlets to judge.

BEYONCE at the Vera Wang show

I mean, she looks like an ostrich. And I love it. But the woman on B’s left – her expression really says it all, doesn’t it?

BEYONCE at the J. Crew show

Not my favorite. Bey, by all means, I want you to be comfortable while you nest the world’s awesomest fetus. But this droopy-boobed disaster is a sorry excuse for fashion.

ELLE FANNING at the Marc by Marc Jacobs show

LOVE HER. So freaking adorable. Great color, love the shoes, and love how all the women behind her are just wearing uglier or sluttier versions of her shoes, but Elle’s are by far the cutest.

KELLY OSBOURNE at the Zac Posen show

Great shoes, great bag, but I’m not sold on the dress. I think the proportions don’t do much for her, and neither does that ridiculous hair.

LEIGH LEZARK at the Zac Posen show

No. NO. We are NOT WEARING MC HAMMER PANTS WITH SLITS DOWN THE MIDDLE. AND SLITS THAT SHOW OUR THONG STRAPS. I absolutely REFUSE to be a party to this crime against fashion.

LEANN RIMES at the Alice + Olivia show

Love the shoes; everything else is only okay. Although maybe I’m just judging her harshly because my sister met her this week and found out Leann totally does not wash her hands after she pees.

SOPHIA BUSH at the Alice + Olivia show

That bolero jacket is like, ridiculous on her. I could see a real fashion icon rocking it, but it is NOT her look. And pairing a cropped jacket with a mini-skirt makes you look like your whole outfit shrunk in the dryer.

JAMIE-LYNN SIGLER at the Tracy Reese show

She could use a little bling, maybe hair down, but the dress is awesome on her. Those two bitches behind her are definitely making super-defensive, catty comments about her right now.

MANDY MOORE at the Jenny Packham show

It’s New York Fashion Week. Put in a little fucking effort, Mandy.

KIM KARDASHIAN at the Rachel Roy show
dress by Rachel Roy

Put in a little LESS effort, Kim. Seriously. It’s enough.

OLIVIA PALERMO at the Rachel Roy show

I’m not a fan of the giant cargo pockets on that skirt, but otherwise, I think this is a perfect fashion week outfit. Why? Because the clothes are boring, but each and every accessory is AWESOME. The shoes, the purse, the watch, the belt – and those sunglasses. Delicious.

OLIVIA WILDE at the Ralph Lauren show

I sort of feel like she’s worn this before. I don’t think she actually has, but it just feels like her, but not necessarily in a good way. It’s just a little too disco for me, I think.

ALICIA KEYS at Proenza Schouler

Hire a stylist.

LEELEE SOBIESKI at the Proenza Schouler show

Fire your stylist, because she is also apparently your crack dealer.

JOHNNY WEIR at The Blonds show

All hail Queen Weir. He is wearing one gold sequined shoe and one silver sequined shoe. The gold one may even be leopard print, if my eyes don’t deceive me. He also appears to be carrying an Hermes Birkin bag, which starts at around nine grand and often has a years-long waiting list. (See: the Sex and the City episode with Lucy Liu. Classic.)

RENEE ZELLWEGER at the Carolina Herrera show

SNOOZE.

NICKI MINAJ at the Carolina Herrera show

Well, if the sight of that doesn’t wake you up out of a fucking coma, I don’t know what will.

ANNA WINTOUR at the Carolina Herrera show

I wasn’t kidding when I said Anna had a signature look. It’s really astounding how many of those short-sleeved, mid-calf-length printed dresses she wears, even for someone with instant access to every dress on earth.

I just need to know what they are discussing. I can’t believe Anna can even look Nicki in the eyes with a straight face when she’s wearing seventeen pounds of furry balls and hot pink stockings under neon green fishnets.

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© Democracy Diva, 2011.
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