We’re in the home stretch of skinny bitches in runway tents.
DAKOTA FANNING at the Marc Jacobs show
dress, shoes and purse by Marc Jacobs
Obviously adorable. I’m not sure whether the shoes are too stripper, and the purse is not my fave, and I’d love to see her wear a color, but she’s tons of cute.
DAKOTA FANNING at the Rodarte show
Head-to-toe perfection. You could say the shoes are too much, but that’s the name of the game at Rodarte. They’re works of art in their own right, and they work seamlessly with the dress to create this vision of an angel whose dress briefly caught fire.
ELLE FANNING at the Rodarte show
I could not hate this more if I tried, but we don’t judge children on their fashion tastes. Lord knows it’s better than what I was wearing at her age.
TAYLOR SWIFT at the Rodarte show
dress by Rodarte
I had to scroll up to make sure she and Dakota weren’t wearing the same dress (they’re not). But Taylor looks phenomenal here. The hair is a little different, even if the over-lined eyes and red lips are ever-present. The dress is incredible – so many different design elements, and yet it doesn’t overwhelm her. The sleeves are just stunning.
ANNA WINTOUR at the Rodarte show
You know the Anna Wintour checklist, dear readers.
1. Printed dress (never strapless) that hits at mid-calf
2. An ornate, mega-expensive-looking necklace
3. Kitten heels, usually this exact pair
4. Bug-eyed sunglasses
5. Major bitchface.
I spy all five! Now YOU do the math, dear readers:
ANNA WINTOUR at the Michael Kors show
The sunglasses aren’t on, but she appears to be holding hem. Same shoes, necklace is correct, but the dress! It hits at her KNEE! How scandalous!
ZOE SALDANA at the Michael Kors show
top, skirt and purse by Michael Kors
Not the best Kors ad I’ve ever seen. I love a gray outfit, but this is a painfully large amount of gray. The bag was certainly overkill, the skirt hits her at a strange spot, and the proportions are a mess.
COURTNEY LOVE at the Michael Kors show
You may be shocked (as I am) that Courtney Love suddenly looks like someone’s great aunt, but don’t forget that her blouse is see-through. So the apocalypse has not truly occurred.
ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELEY at the Michael Kors show
dress, boots and purse by Michael Kors
Same critique as Zoe: it’s too much. It’s too damn matchy-matchy. Mix it up a little, girls!
ALEXA CHUNG at the Proenza Schouler show
dress by Proenza Schouler, shoes by Louis Vuitton
If fashion means wearing long-sleeved undershirts beneath your tossed-in-a-dumpster dress, then I want no part of it.
EMMA ROBERTS at the Tibi show
Inoffensive. Great color. Hair shows signs of improvement.
EMMA ROBERTS at the Marchesa show
dress by Marchesa, shoes by Brian Atwood
Whoa. She actually looks gorgeous. I like the hint of green at the belt, which matches her ring. The shoes are nude, but an interesting, smoky gray nude that works beautifully with the soft, airy skirt. Nice work, Ms. Roberts!
RACHEL ZOE at the Marchesa show
No. I want no part of this. That bracelet is hideous, the dress is just stupid, and who wears purply-brown shoes with a black dress? Not anyone I want to share a wardrobe with, that’s for sure.
CAMILLA BELLE at the Marchesa show
Oh, good. New York Fashion Week was severely lacking in dominatrix porn stars until now.
CHLOE MORETZ at the Calvin Klein show
A little wrinkly, and I don’t love the accessories at all, but it’s very Calvin Klein-looking, with that minimalistic style. Love the hair, the natural-looking makeup, and that off-white and gray on her.
NICKI MINAJ at the Betsey Johnson show
How does she pee?
NICKI MINAJ at the Oscar de la Renta show
She was going to actually wear a tail, but she thought that might be taking it a little too far.