Best Dressed: BEYONCE
jumpsuit by Osman, purse by Swarovski, shoes by Jimmy Choo
In usual Beyonce style, the Diva of All Divas looked effortlessly chic on the red carpet. The jumpsuit and heels are to die for, the cuffs are phenomenal, and the hair and makeup are sleek and sexy. Also, I love that she didn’t wear something ridiculously over-the-top just for the attention, because a real Diva knows every eye will be on her no matter what she wears.
Runner-Up: TAYLOR SWIFT
gown by J. Mendel
Yes, it’s still T.Swift in white, but I’m loving her recent addiction to cut-outs, particularly when she finds unique and interesting takes on the trend. The bondage-like silver lines in the front juxtapose beautifully with the delicately draped, uber-romantic skirt. Also, this is one of the only times I’ve liked a braid at a major red carpet event that didn’t take place in the middle of the summer. So congrats, Taylor!
Honorable Mention: KELLY ROWLAND
gown by Georges Chakra
Hilariously anachronistic and double-standard-ridden “Wardrobe Advisory” from CBS be damned! Your bullshit corporate rules and regulations and even the FCC itself cannot compete with the power of Kelly Rowland’s “bare sides [and] under curvature of the breasts!” Girl gave a giant middle finger to the network’s attempt to tame down the amount of girly-parts on the red carpet and the Grammys stage, and she did it looking incredible. This gown is fucking killer on her, even if almost no one else on planet earth could dream of pulling it off.
gown by Azzedine Alaïa
For a second my heart stopped, because I thought I was going to have to list Rihanna as the Best Dressed of something and thus the apocalypse had finally arrived. On closer glance, that bodice makes absolutely no sense and covers like maybe the bottom third of her breast. Doesn’t it look like that underlay needs to be yanked up a few inches? Nitpicking aside, this is probably the best Rihanna has ever looked.
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE and JESSICA BIEL
Justin’s tuxedo by Tom Ford; Jessica’s gown by Oscar de la Renta, shoes by Casadei
Jessica Biel had the best seat in the house – between her hubbie Justin and Beyonce (with Jay-Z next to Bey, of course). There were no full-length pictures of her gown, but she looks lovely, if a little on the boring side. The earrings are kind of cool, but also just a touch too big. Same for Justin’s bow tie, but I love the jacket.
gown by Kaufmanfranco
Probably my favorite thing she’s worn so far. The texture and print look incredible, and she’s positively statuesque in it.
You WORK that navy-and-black combo, Drake! SO delicious.
dress and shoes by Michael Kors
Supremely adorable dress, slightly boring shoes. She could have made this event-appropriate with accessories, so the low-key styling is a little disappointing.
gown by Roberto Cavalli, shoes by Jerome C. Rousseau
Beautiful, but it looks like there’s an eagle trying to fly into her vagina. I don’t actually think that’s a dealbreaker, I just really needed to know if anyone else saw it but me.
gown by Vera Wang
Shapeless, and the underlay ends at a really strange place. It’s also too stuffy for the Grammys, but so is Nicole Kidman.
dress by Valentino Red
Cute. Ridiculously underdressed, but cute. Love the shoes.
dress by Valentino
I think the problem with this look is not the dress, which I fucking adore, but the styling. The full-length version of this dress was my Spring 2013 couture red carpet prediction for Fan Bingbing, and I actually thing the short version on Adele is incredibly refreshing. I’ve virtually never seen her in anything but black on the red carpet, and this flowered couture dress is just incredible. HOWEVER. Adele’s signature 1950s styling so does not work with a dress like this, a dress that’s already a 1950s housewife at a garden party on acid. She really did not need a cutesy purse and matching shoes and her signature vintage hair and makeup – she needed a lot of modern styling to make this dress work, and I think that’s actually what made a lot of people hate this look.
suit by Moschino
The pants are too tight, but the jacket/vest combo is stunning.
gown by Azzedine Alaïa, shoes by Jimmy Choo
Love everything from the waist up, but that skirt is a nightmare. I’ve seen it a few times and it works occasionally, but something about the proportions here make me absolutely hate it.
gown, purse, and shoes by Givenchy
I don’t want to know why Florence is dressed like a dinosaur-turned-Reno lounge singer, do I?
dress by Vivienne Westwood
Love the lips and nails, but those shoes are all wrong and I don’t think she did nearly enough to make this a Grammys-worthy look.
CARLY RAE JEPSEN
gown by Roberto Cavalli, shoes by Jerome C. Rousseau
gown by Ralph & Russo
Invest in makeup, Solange. And maybe let go of the shoulderpads and whatever the hell is on your feet.
gown by Gucci
In predictable Katy fashion, it’s a hideous color and it’s approximately eleven sizes too small. And I just think that gaudy embellishment around the neck just looks like a tacky Christmas decoration.
gown by Anthony Vaccarello, purse by Jimmy Choo
Oh, are we just wearing leotards and entire rolls of fabric on the red carpet now? Great. I’m SO looking forward to everyone looking like a ballroom dancer who just got attacked by a bear.