March Fabness 2013, Round 1: Dior Bracket


The polls have closed on this post, but check back daily for new brackets!

ELIZABETH BANKS vs. COBIE SMULDERS
Elizabeth's dress by Marc Jacobs, shoes by Jerome C. Rousseau; Cobie's jumpsuit by Yves Saint Laurent, purse by Perrin Paris, shoes by Tom Ford

Elizabeth’s dress by Marc Jacobs, shoes by Jerome C. Rousseau; Cobie’s jumpsuit by Yves Saint Laurent, purse by Perrin Paris, shoes by Tom Ford

Elizabeth: Hello, March Fabbers! Effie Trinket is here, so let the 3rd Annual March Fabness battle begin, and may the odds be ever in your favor!

Cobie: Robin Scherbatsky prefers to keep things a little more NYC-chic, but I’m sure someone appreciates your over-the-top Capitol fashions.

Elizabeth's dress by Atelier Versace, shoes by Jimmy Choo; Cobie's dress by Temperley London, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Elizabeth’s dress by Atelier Versace, shoes by Jimmy Choo; Cobie’s dress by Temperley London, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Elizabeth: Right! Over-the-top fashions are why I’m awesome and going to defeat you easily. Oh, and you’re boring.

Cobie: I prefer understated, actually. And you can drop the attitude, Sparkles.

Elizabeth's dress by Marc Jacobs, shoes by Walter Steiger; Cobie's gown by Alberta Ferretti

Elizabeth’s dress by Marc Jacobs, shoes by Walter Steiger; Cobie’s gown by Alberta Ferretti

Elizabeth: Sparkles? Why Sparkles? Aren’t you Robin Sparkles?

Cobie: Yes, but have you seen yourself? You’re glimmering more than a stripper’s body glitter, for God’s sake.

Elizabeth's gown by Bill Blass, purse by Judith Leiber; Cobie's gown by Donna Karan

Elizabeth’s gown by Bill Blass, purse by Judith Leiber; Cobie’s gown by Donna Karan

Elizabeth: Why, thank you! One of Effie Trinket’s Laws of Fashion is to never leave the house unless at least 83% of your body is covered in something shiny.

Cobie: Oh, so THAT’S why you always dress like a drag queen! That makes much more sense now.

Elizabeth's gown by Elie Saab; Cobie's gown by Reem Acra, purse by Judith Leiber

Elizabeth’s gown by Elie Saab; Cobie’s gown by Reem Acra, purse by Judith Leiber

Elizabeth: I’ve had enough of your sass, Canada. I dare you to out-dress me in orange formalwear.

Cobie: Challenge accepted.

KAROLINA KURKOVA vs. JULIANNE MOORE
Karolina's suit by Roberto Cavalli, shoes by Christian Louboutin; Julianne's dress by Calvin Klein

Karolina’s suit by Roberto Cavalli, shoes by Christian Louboutin; Julianne’s dress by Calvin Klein

Karolina: I’d greet you hello, Julianne, but it takes 100% of my focus to look this fierce and smize this hard while holding my tuxedo jacket with an iron grip.

Julianne: That actually does look like a lot of work. Why not let your hair down and gaze dazedly out into the ether, like me?

Karolina's gown by Nicholas Oakwell; Julianne's dress by Alexander McQueen

Karolina’s gown by Nicholas Oakwell; Julianne’s dress by Alexander McQueen

Karolina: No! I am a model! I am contractually obligated to smize at ALL TIMES!

Julianne: Fine, fine. I’m just saying, you can be fabulous and laid-back, like moi!

Karolina's gown by Vionnet; Julianne's dress and shoes by Lanvin, purse by Bulgari

Karolina’s gown by Vionnet; Julianne’s dress and shoes by Lanvin, purse by Bulgari

Karolina: Fine, darling, I’ll try it your way. Look, I’m actually smiling, and my gown is flowy and breathable!

Julianne: Ha! I’ve tricked you into smiling so that I can steal your serious model-face! You really are as dumb as you look, you know.

Karolina's gown and jacket by Roberto Cavalli; Julianne's gown by Tom Ford

Karolina’s gown and jacket by Roberto Cavalli; Julianne’s gown by Tom Ford

Karolina: How dare you! Who the hell are you to give me such an attitude, Miss Thing?

Julianne: I was totally joking, but since I’ve clearly hit on a sensitive issue, I suppose I’ll apologize. But only because I like your dress and it would sound really insincere if I was making fun of you while I said that.

Karolina's gown by Rachel Zoe; Julianne's gown by Christian Dior

Karolina’s gown by Rachel Zoe; Julianne’s gown by Christian Dior

Karolina: Of course you like my dress, darling. I’m a model. My JOB is to make you like whatever I’m wearing.

Julianne: Yes, but I do that for free. And by “for free,” I mean for the total cost of this gown and all its accessories, which probably totals in the tens of thousands of dollars. But I digress.

ANDREW GARFIELD vs. CHLOË MORETZ
Andrew's suit by Band of Outsiders; Chloe's jacket, purse, and shoes by Christian Dior

Andrew’s suit by Band of Outsiders; Chloë’s jacket, purse, and shoes by Christian Dior

Andrew: So this is March Fabness, hm? I sure hope me and Emma Stone don’t get matched up against each other, or that will make for some awkward dates!

Chloë: Seriously? I actually thought you two were just faking it for the cameras. Is that still a thing?

Andrew's suit by Balenciaga, Chloë's jacket, top, and skirt by Antonio Berardi, shoes by Sophia Webster

Andrew’s suit by Balenciaga; Chloë’s jacket, top, and skirt by Antonio Berardi, shoes by Sophia Webster

Andrew: Of course it’s “still a thing!” We’re like, redefining hipster cuteness!

Chloë: Yeah, I really don’t think that’s true.

Andrew's jacket, sweater, and pants by Gucci; Chloë's dress and shoes by Calvin Klein

Andrew’s jacket, sweater, and pants by Gucci; Chloë’s dress and shoes by Calvin Klein

Andrew: But what’s the point in wearing all this plaid if I can’t redefine hipster cuteness?

Chloë: I don’t know, I just know I’d like you a lot more if you stopped using the word “hipster” to describe yourself.

Andrew's suit by Gucci; Chloë's dress by Christopher Kane, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Andrew’s suit by Gucci; Chloë’s dress by Christopher Kane, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Andrew: Well, that’s fair. But I won’t stop wearing plaid. That’s an absolute dealbreaker.

Chloë: I would never DREAM of asking you to give up plaid. I know better than to think you’d even be capable of such a thing.

Andrew's suit by Balenciaga, Chloë's dress by McQ

Andrew’s suit by Balenciaga; Chloë’s dress by McQ

Andrew: You’re not so bad, you know. You clearly have a strong appreciation for color, because you and I are rocking the same shade of cranberry. Do you want to be shopping buddies?

Chloë: Totally! I mean, you’re like kind of old, but you look like an overgrown child, and I’m fabulous beyond my years, so maybe we should be shopping buddies!

BEYONCE KNOWLES vs. DAKOTA FANNING
Beyonce's blazer by Dsquared2, pants by J Brand, purse by Alexander McQueen, shoes by Tom Ford; Dakota's dress and shoes by Proenza Schouler

Beyonce’s blazer by Dsquared2, pants by J Brand, purse by Alexander McQueen, shoes by Tom Ford; Dakota’s dress and shoes by Proenza Schouler

Beyonce: Hi, Dakota! Are you ready for a fun and fabulous competition?

Dakota: Why, of course I am! And can I just say, Beyonce, I didn’t expect you to be so nice and polite!

Beyonce's dress by Antonio Berardi, shoes by Jimmy Choo; Dakota's dress and purse by Jason Wu, shoes by Prada

Beyonce’s dress by Antonio Berardi, shoes by Jimmy Choo; Dakota’s dress and purse by Jason Wu, shoes by Prada

Beyonce: Dakota, I am literally a superhero. I’m technically no longer mortal, since I use unicorn blood as conditioner. Why on earth would I waste all this fabulousness on being mean to people?

Dakota: Um, that unicorn shit sounds kind of fucked up, actually. You’re kidding, right?

Beyonce's jumpsuit by Osman, purse by Swarovski, shoes by Jimmy Choo; Dakota's dress by Halston, purse by Salvatore Ferragamo, shoes by Manolo Blahnik

Beyonce’s jumpsuit by Osman, purse by Swarovski, shoes by Jimmy Choo; Dakota’s dress by Halston, purse by Salvatore Ferragamo, shoes by Manolo Blahnik

Beyonce: You’ve got a lot to learn about celebrity cure-alls, little girl. If you’re not stockpiling unicorn blood for hair shininess and phoenix claws for general luminescence, you’re doing it wrong.

Dakota: Wow. That sounds disgusting – and I was in Twilight. So I know a little something about disgusting.

Beyonce's gown by Elie Saab; Dakota's gown and purse by Prada, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

Beyonce’s gown by Elie Saab; Dakota’s gown and purse by Prada, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

Beyonce: Fair point, Dakota. And might I congratulate you on your ability to shimmer and sparkle like a diva? I mean, you’re no me, but you’re getting there.

Dakota: Yes. And this look was brought to you 100% unicorn blood and phoenix claw-free.

Beyonce's gown by Givenchy; Dakota's gown, purse, and shoes by Gucci

Beyonce’s gown by Givenchy; Dakota’s gown, purse, and shoes by Gucci

Beyonce: Well, if you’re going to get sassy about it, allow me to pull out the big Givenchy guns and destroy you in the blink of an eye.

Dakota: I’ve got Gucci on my side, Bey. Bring it on.


© Democracy Diva, 2013.
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