There is no Met Gala without the divas.

ANNA WINTOUR and BEE SHAFFER
Anna’s gown by Chanel
Bee’s gown by Alexander McQueen

Photo: vogue.co.uk

Anna Wintour is the dictatorial ruler of the land of the Divas, so it’s no surprise that she looked every bit the fashion powerhouse. But what really blew me away was her daughter Bee. It’s easy to be fabulous when you came into the world by way of Anna Wintour’s womb, but can we please talk about how thematically on-point Bee’s gown was?

Photo: Landov

That’s maybe the most fantastic train I’ve ever seen, and I’m not even into trains. The textured wings, the floral blossoms – it’s all just perfect.

LADY GAGA
gown by Balenciaga

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

I think Lady Gaga is wearing a giant birdcage on her ass, and worst of all, I think I’m okay with it. Because at least it’s ridiculously dramatic and definitely something I haven’t seen much of before. If only all the divas had committed themselves to this much originality… but we’ll get to Beyoncé in a bit.

JUSTIN BIEBER
suit by Balmain

Photo: Larry Busacca/Getty

It makes me kind of angry that I have to rank this little King Joffrey-looking motherfucker towards the top of the post, but honestly, that jacket is crazy gorgeous and perfect for the theme. It doesn’t get more Targaryen Chinese-themed-Met-Gala-appropriate than golden dragon embroidery.

CHER
gown by Marc Jacobs

Photo: Jamie McCarthy/FilmMagic

CHER WAS AT THE MET GALA. NOTHING ELSE ON EARTH MATTERS, BECAUSE CHER WAS AT THE MET GALA, MAKING ALL OF MY DREAMS COME TRUE. She kept it relatively simple in Marc Jacobs, so I can’t gush over the outfit as much as I can the lady herself, but she hasn’t looked this sleek and stylish in ages. Go on, girl.

ALICIA KEYS
gown by Jean Paul Gaultier

Photo: Larry Busacca/Getty

This is a little bit goofy, but not necessarily in a bad way. I’m not sure it’s particularly great for this theme, but I could definitely see a Chinese superhero wearing the shit out of that jacket while killing bad guys, or whatever.

RIHANNA
coat by Guo Pei, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Evan Agostini/Invision/AP

I know this was the only thing anyone was capable of talking about after the Met Gala, but I don’t think it was worth that much attention. From the front, at least, it’s just a really terribly-fitting cape. And from the back…

Photo: Axelle/Bauer-Griffin

Well, I actually prefer the view from the back, because at least it’s dramatic and statement-making and therefore Met Gala appropriate. But I can’t deny the memes that compare this to a pizza/an omelette/a terrifyingly large plate of melted cheese. Plus, now I’m craving nachos. Goddamn it.

BEYONCÉ KNOWLES
gown by Givenchy

Photo: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

I let Bey get away with a lot, because, you know, she’s Bey. But I swear to God, if she wears this dress one more time, I’m going to jump off the roof of the nearest Neiman Marcus. And while practically-nude dresses might seem very daring and original, it doesn’t really work when half the divas at the event also wore the same trend. Case in point:

JENNIFER LOPEZ
gown by Atelier Versace, purse by Swarovski

Photo: Arroyo-O’Connor/AFF-USA

Again, this could have had ten times more of an impact if it weren’t the only goddamn thing she ever wears. At least this one has a dragon on it. I’ll throw her some pity-points for that. And actually, I think the ombre effect into the red train is lovely. But I can’t support this side view:

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

No. I’m sorry. But no.

MILEY CYRUS
gown by Alexander Wang

Photo: Larry Busacca/Getty

Sorry, Miley, but the punk-themed Met Gala was two years ago. Remember? You were there, and looked awesome, because you actually gave a shit about the theme?

LORDE
gown by Calvin Klein

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

You are a fucking CELEBRITY. I don’t care how cool you are – HIRE A GODDAMN TAILOR. There is no excuse for anyone, let alone someone this famous, to hit up an event this major in a dress this ill-fitting. It’s a great color on her, and her smile is charming the pants off of me, but Lorde deserves better. (Also: themed dressing. Learn about it, or stop showing up to the Met Gala.)

KATY PERRY
gown and gloves by Moschino

Photo: Larry Busacca/Getty

Wait, did EVERYONE think the theme was punk again? I would have been able to support this graffiti monster in another context, but it couldn’t be farther from thematically-appropriate. And worse, she wore almost the same dress as Madonna:

MADONNA
gown by Moschino

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

A disappointment in terms of theme, but it’s also the most chic she’s looked in ages. But she’s set a pretty low bar for herself lately, so don’t get too excited about that.

KANYE WEST and KIM KARDASHIAN
tuxedo and gown by Roberto Cavalli

Photo: Larry Busacca/Getty

WORST HUMANS ALIVE.

Okay, I guess the ISIS and Boko Haram guys are probably worse, but K&K are definitely the worst non-war-criminals alive.

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© Democracy Diva, 2015.
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