The stars are awaiting your judgment, dear readers. And it’s a crime to keep a diva waiting.

DITA VON TEESE in Mexico City
jumpsuit by Gucci, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Dita is working some serious Morticia Adams fierceness in all black and netting, with a pop of red on the lip. (And the heel of her Louboutins, obviously. Can’t ignore that, not when the company spent years battling Yves Saint Laurent in court over who can make red-heeled shoes, for fuck’s sake.) I mean, the woman who can make me love a jumpsuit is a rare woman indeed. But the fit and style are simply perfect for her, and I love the pockets. (You can count on me to like literally everything a little bit more if it has pockets. I’m a practical Diva, dear readers.)

JESSICA BIEL in New York City
dress by Dolce & Gabbana

Generally speaking, I find Jessica Biel to be one of the most boring people alive, both on and off the red carpet, so you can imagine my surprise when I saw her looking so goddamn fabulous at the VMAs after-party. That dress is pretty damn spectacular to begin with, but the earrings and shoes with it? Fucking flawless, and that’s definitely not a phrase I’ve used to describe Jessica Biel before.

ZHANG ZIYI in Los Angeles
dress, belt, and purse by Chanel, shoes by Casadei

The ever-chic Zhang Ziyi did a little film promoting in the States this week, and clearly, the occasion called for lots and lots of Chanel. I love her funky little black dress, particularly the interesting shape of the sleeve. The shoes would work better with a different purse, but the hair is stunning and that shade of lipstick is like a dream on her.

ZHANG ZIYI in Los Angeles
dress by Dsquared², shoes by Christian Louboutin

I love the cropped jacket and the length of the skirt, but I’m not sure I’m sold on those crazy faces all over the skirt. (Are they faces? Am I the only one seeing that? Comment so I know I’m not hallucinating, okay?)

BEYONCÉ KNOWLES in New York City
dress by Tom Ford, purse by Giuseppe Zanotti, shoes by Brian Atwood

Obviously Bey and Jay were too cool for the VMAs, but still hit up the after-party like the bosses they are. And I am loving the full-blown diva shit she’s throwing our way, from the cut-outs on her dress to the utterly insane earrings, which are probably made of diamonds covered in ivory soaked in truffle oil and cocaine. But hey, Jay’s wearing almost as much jewelry as she is, so they look pretty damn good together.

JAMES FRANCO in Los Angeles
tuxedo by Gucci

Stop being such a nerd and just stand there, okay? I swear, he was flashing peace signs and thumbs-ups in every photo taken of him at his Comedy Central roast. This is not your first red carpet, honey. Just do the stupid looking-pretty thing and get it over with. Because your tuxedo is a hundred kinds of gorgeous and I should be paying attention to that.

LADY GAGA in New York City
dress by Balenciaga, sunglasses by Tom Ford, shoes by Ruthie Davis

This was my Resort 2014 red carpet prediction for Julianne Moore, this dress and its little gold cuffs, but I am all about it on Gaga. And the matching earrings are absolutely killer. The Lady has been running around in a hundred different outfits a day lately, promoting her new album, so pardon me while we take a brief but sometimes-terrifying tour through a few days in her closet.

LADY GAGA in New York City
coat, belt, and boots by Alexander McQueen, sunglasses by Pam Tietze

I like. Weird but cool, in the traditional Lady Gaga sense. The volume of the sleeves is fun, and the boots are undeniably groovy. But I have a thing against circle-framed sunglasses to begin with, and she hasn’t taken them off lately. It’s becoming a problem.

LADY GAGA in New York City
coat by Calvin Klein, sunglasses by Tom Ford, shoes by Azzedine Alaïa

The coat is cool, if slightly too garbage-bag-looking, but she cannot wear the same Tom Ford shades and Alaïa boots every day. I simply forbid it. It’s far too pedestrian for someone who calls herself a Lady.

LADY GAGA in New York City
top and skirt by Balmain, sunglasses by Tom Ford, shoes by Azzedine Alaïa

Hate the hair, the proportions, and the recycled accessories. Doesn’t she understand that only us normal people have to repeat accessories? What’s the point of being Lady Gaga if you wear the same pair of shoes every day?

DIANNA AGRON in New York City
dress by Louis Vuitton, purse by Helmut Lang, shoes by Tory Burch

Apparently, Dianna wore this dress for a fashion spread and liked it so much, she kept it. (Not in a Lindsay Lohan way, in a legitimate way.) Anyway, it was a good idea, because it’s positively perfect for her. The accessories make it into quite the fabulous little street style look.

SELENA GOMEZ in New York City
jumpsuit by Staring at Stars, purse by Michael Kors

It was actually an all-around fantastic week for street style. Selena Gomez jumped on that bandwagon in a very Miranda Kerr-esque printed jumpsuit paired with adorable, flirty sunglasses and a statement purse. The shoes are killer, though maybe a bit much with the pants, but overall, this makes me want to see more of Selena on the street and off the red carpet.

ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELEY in London
jumpsuit by Gerard Darel, sunglasses by Miu Miu, purse by Giorgio Armani, shoes by Michael Kors

Rosie refused to be upstaged on the street style front, rocking her own lovely jumpsuit, matching navy sandals, and a powder blue Armani purse that I’m a little bit in love with.

AMANDA SEYFRIED in New York City
blouse and shorts by Andrew Gn, shoes by Givenchy

I swear, she has not let go of those Givenchy sandals in weeks. The top and shorts are graphic, modern, and totally chic, but she’s unreasonably committed to those shoes.

AMANDA SEYFRIED in London
top and skirt by Gucci, shoes by Givenchy

Shoes aside, this is one of my least favorite looks from Amanda’s Lovelace press tour. It’s a lot of my pet peeves rolled into one – sheer skirts over short skirts/granny panty-esque shorts, anything buttoned up to the top button, and a shade of red lipstick that doesn’t work at all with her complexion.

OLIVIA WILDE in New York City
dress by Theyskens’ Theory, shoes by Christian Louboutin

I don’t know if this sort of French-feeling minimalism thing is really working on Olivia. She’s obviously crazy beautiful, but I just don’t think she looks at home in this. I also don’t love the nude shoes, which she kept on for a funkier look that still didn’t quite land:

OLIVIA WILDE in New York City
dress by J. Mendel, shoes by Christian Louboutin

I mean, the woven straps over the cups just don’t work. At the very least, they don’t leave room for anybody with non-model-sized boobs. And I think the proportions of this look are awkward in general.

ROONEY MARA in New York City
top and skirt by Calvin Klein, shoes by Brian Atwood

This is practically a uniform for her now. Step out of the teensy little box you’ve created for yourself, Rooney. There’s a whole world of fashion out there if you get that stick out of your ass – it even includes color!

VANESSA HUDGENS in Beverly Hills
dress by Temperley London, purse by Edie Parker, shoes by Saint Laurent

Ms. Hudgens, what the FUCK IS HAPPENING ON TOP OF YOUR HEAD?! Did a small animal die up there? What could possibly explain this?

STACY KEIBLER in Los Angeles
dress by Yuki, bracelet and purse by Saint Laurent, shoes by Charlotte Olympia

No. Absolutely not. Everything about this is an assault to my eyeballs.

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© Democracy Diva, 2013.
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