Welcome back to your regularly scheduled programming, dear readers.

EMMA WATSON in Los Angeles
gown by Giorgio Armani

Bow down, dear readers, at the altar of Hipstermione! (Did that sound like an Italian dish, or was it clear that that was hipster + Hermione?) She has the perfect delicate shoulders for that exquisite neckline, and the detailing on this gown is breathtaking. Slicked-back hair, strong brows, and a heavy lip were fab styling choices, though I’d have loved earrings or a bracelet as well.

EMMA WATSON in New York City
pants by J Brand, shoes by Tom Ford

As if to prove she does street style just as well as red carpet glamour, Emma chose a crisp white blazer and perfect black skinny jeans. And just to make me drool, she threw on shoes that I have not stopped dreaming about since I first laid eyes on them. They’re heavenly.

CATHERINE, DUCHESS OF CAMBRIDGE in Singapore
dress by Prabal Gurung, shoes by Prada

EXTRA! EXTRA! The Duchess wore a print! Not a floral, stripe, or polka-dot, but a full-on, fucking fabulous, purple Rorschach Prabal Gurung print!!! No amount of exclamation points can truly express my shock, awe, and utter joy over Kate finally breaking free of her White Anglo-Saxon Princess rut.

CATHERINE, DUCHESS OF CAMBRIDGE in Singapore
top and skirt by Alexander McQueen, shoes by Stuart Weitzman

A return to normalcy, sure, but still a lovely one. I love how Kate deploys a super-skinny belt and holds her hand up as if to say, “You can write all the pregnancy headlines you want – I haven’t gained an ounce, bitches.” Anyway, the sharp structure of the top is juxtaposed beautifully with the draped skirt, and the whole white eyelet effect is quite lovely. The accessories are as ordinary as ever, but I’ll take what I can get.

KRISTEN STEWART in New York City
top by Balenciaga, pants by A.L.C., shoes by Jimmy Choo

I love it. Scream “I don’t give a fuck, but I still look fly as hell” a little louder, Kristen! I so prefer it to your old mantra, “I don’t give a fuck, and my personal style clearly suffers for it!” When she puts the effort in, this girl can rock menswear like few I’ve seen before.

KIRSTEN DUNST on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
dress by Lanvin

I want this dress so much, it hurts.

KIRSTEN DUNST in New York City
top and shorts by Stella McCartney, shoes by Chloé

I’ll support your decision to wear a stiff-as-a-board tunic/shorts combo that looks the lovechild of a kimono and hospital scrubs. But I draw the line at those suede mustard shoes, Kirsten.

KIRSTEN DUNST in New York City
sunglasses by Miu Miu

The belt is borderline stupid, but this is some effortlessly fab street style. And I’m never going to stop fantasizing about those Miu Miu sunglasses.

VICTORIA BECKHAM in New York City
purse by Victoria Beckham, shoes by Manolo Blahnik

Predictable but fierce. The purse is killer.

ELIZABETH OLSEN in New York City
dress by Christian Dior

Adorable dress – very everygirl, very versatile, and the striped skirt is just fantastic. Shocking, considering she is related to the Gremlins of the fashion industry Olsen twins.

LIZZY CAPLAN in New York City
dress by Halston Heritage, purse by Rebecca Minkoff, shoes by Stella McCartney

Everything’s trying just a bit too hard – the leather dress is too tight and too blue, the eye makeup is too heavy, the hair is too Danny Zukko, and the purse matching the platform of that two-toned shoe is a little much. Let your hair down, literally and figuratively, Lizzy, and you’ll look a thousand times more chic.

AMY ADAMS in New York City
dress by Giambattista Valli, shoes by Brian Atwood

This woman cannot dress her age to save her life. If it’s not a little girl’s dress, it’s a middle-aged successful business woman’s dress. I’ll take the latter over the former, but honey, that length? Those shoes? That wide-cut, leave-room-for-the-sagging-breasts-you-don’t-have top? No.

CLAIRE DANES in New York City
dress by Lela Rose, shoes by Narcisco Rodriguez

First, a rant: how can Claire Danes be having a baby when my personal mantra is still “What would Angela Chase do?” I need to get my shit together. Second, she is freaking glowing. I prefer her with dark hair, but this honey-colored strawberry blonde shade looks great in this shot. I’d nix the red lips, but I’m digging the rest of the look.

NINA DOBREV in Los Angeles
dress by Reem Acra, shoes by Rupert Sanderson

This dress is a little stupid – I mean, the closure around her neck is ridiculous, and it kind of looks like it’s on backwards. The matching purse was just an awful styling choice, but I don’t think the black strappy sandals work well either. It’s hard for Nina Dobrev to look bad, per se, but this is a little cheaper and trashier than her usual tastes.

KATE BECKINSALE in Los Angeles
dress by Vivienne Westwood, purse by Stark, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Kate Beckinsale, if you hit the red carpet in that obscenely played-out high ponytail one more fucking time, I will lose it. That thing has become your security blanket, and I am cutting you off. I will also ban you from pairing white shoes with a white purse, because although it may work for some, this looks downright ridiculous.

MILLA JOVOVICH in Moscow
dress by Reem Acra, purse by Edie Parker

WHAT IS ON YOUR HEAD, MILLA? Is every B-list actress desperate to make my head explode? How am I even supposed to begin to describe such an anomaly? And who paired that dress with those accessories? Because they should start cleaning out their office now.

RACHEL WEISZ at the Deauville Film Festival
gown by Nina Ricci

Pardon me, Rachel, but what is it about dressing up like a seven-tiered wedding cake that you find so enjoyable? Because from here – well, you look like a fucking seven-tiered wedding cake.

JESSICA CHASTAIN in New York City
dress by Alexander McQueen, shoes by Christian Louboutin

A boring dress that fits incredibly poorly (or is paired with some really unsupportive undergarments, or both). And even a podiatrist would look at those shoes and say, “That’s the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen on a foot in my entire life.”

ZOOEY DESCHANEL in Los Angeles
dress by Shareen, shoes by Miu Miu

We can tell you’re still in stockings, Zooey. You see, when your legs are an entirely different color than the rest of your body, but you’re too much of a hipster for spray-tan, it’s pretty fucking obvious. I’m glad you’ve discovered the world of above-the-knee hemlines (welcome to the 1960s, Zooey!) but we’ve got a long way to go before you’re even in the ballpark of stylish.

SALMA HAYEK in Deauville, France
dress by Stella McCartney, shoes by Brian Atwood

I’ve seen my fair share of hideous Stella McCartney dresses, but this might just take the hideous cake.

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© Democracy Diva, 2012.
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