Best Dressed: LILY COLLINS at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Zuhair Murad, earrings by Takat
BOW THE FUCK DOWN to 23-year-old Lily Collins, who absolutely stole my heart in this stunning sapphire number. The exquisite lace (those sleeves! that neckline!), the glittering stripes across her waist and down her legs, and the matching earrings and nails are absolutely divine. As a sapphire birthstone, and a girl of similar coloring to Lily, this is basically my dream red carpet look (though at barely 5’1″, I could never hope to look as statuesque in it as Lily does). And the view from the back is even more killer:
BAM. Suck it, mere mortals – Lily Collins as a red carpet queen has arrived.
Runner-Up: FAN BINGBING at the Elton John party
gown by Elie Saab, purse by Roger Vivier
My dear readers know by now that I have a love affair with Fan Bingbing, who wore three different outfits to the Oscars, the Elton John party, and the Vanity Fair party (I’ll get to that look in Part 2). BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT DIVAS DO. Anyway, this pinky-peachy dream of a color is absolutely phenomenal on her, as is the giant sweeping skirt and exquisitely embellished bodice.
Honorable Mention: SOLANGE KNOWLES at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Emilio Pucci, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz, shoes by Jimmy Choo
Solange is working the SHIT out of that color. The gown looks like it was made for her, and the styling is fun and funky.
AMY ADAMS at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Oscar de la Renta
Why couldn’t she have looked this Downton-fabulous at the actual Oscars? Amy, I love this gown more than words, but don’t save the A-list dress for the after-party! You are more than famous enough to acquire TWO stunning looks in the same evening.
NAOMI WATTS at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Emilio Pucci, jewelry by Neil Lane, purse by Chloé, shoes by Jimmy Choo
It’s a lot of dress – I think it would be better with a slightly shorter hem and sleeve, particularly on someone so petite. But the gown is stunning and the purse and jewelry are gorgeous.
HILARY SWANK at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Valentino, purse by Swarovski
I wish it were fully lined, because I hate that minidress-under-a-gown thing, but it’s still a great gown. Even if Sally Field wore almost the same thing to the Oscars.
BELLA HEATHCOTE at the Vanity Fair party
dress and jewelry by Chanel, shoes by Jimmy Choo
I like the little capelet, but maybe not with such a high neckline. Or maybe just a little more dramatic makeup would have made her look a little less covered up and washed out. Either way, the purse and shoes are definitely to die for.
NATALIE PORTMAN at the Vanity Fair party
gown and purse by Christian Dior, jewelry by Anna Hu
I love the idea of it more than the execution – I think it would have looked better on someone taller – but she’s pulling it off. And the earrings are simply divine.
KATE BOSWORTH at the Vanity Fair party
dress by Giambattista Valli, purse by Rauwolf, shoes by Casadei
Lose the braids and add some color, and we’ll talk.
KELLY OSBOURNE at the Elton John party
Surprisingly chic, but I hate that hair more and more every day.
ANNE HATHAWAY at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Saint Laurent
Awkward and ill-fitting. A gown like this doesn’t deserve to be that close to an Oscar.
ANNA PAQUIN and STEPHEN MOYER at the Elton John party
gown by Alexander McQueen
She’s worn this mesh-top gothic thing before, but with much less success. I’m not in love with it here, and I think it’s a little dreary for an after-party, but she looks sleek and polished in it.
SELENA GOMEZ at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Atelier Versace, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz, purse by Judith Leiber, shoes by Jimmy Choo
She looks like she’s playing dress-up in a costume shop for tiny drag queens.
AMY POEHLER at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Herve L. Leroux
Love the gown, hate the styling.
AMBER HEARD at the Vanity Fair party
gown and shoes by Atelier Versace, purse by Lauren Merkin
I think I would like this dress more if it didn’t appear to have booby tassels.
KATE BECKINSALE at the Vanity Fair party
dress by Monique Lhuillier, jewelry by Chopard, purse by Roger Vivier, shoes by Jimmy Choo
I don’t hate this, but I find it way too youthful for Kate, who by the way, really needs to say goodbye to that high ponytail once and for all. Her penchant for dressing more youthfully than Chloë Moretz and Elle Fanning has seriously become a problem.
MIRANDA KERR at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Valentino, purse by Jimmy Choo
It’s too big on her, it’s dreary, and the styling looks messy with the already overdesigned gown. Just more proof that Miranda’s street style beats her red carpet style 100% of the time.
BRITNEY SPEARS at the Elton John party
gown by Michael Cinco, shoes by Saint Laurent
This isn’t exactly a fashion risk, but can we talk about how good Britney looks, at least relative to her former self? She looks WAY better in this warm brunette shade than she did as a roots-showing blonde, and this is probably the classiest dress I’ve seen her wear since – well, EVER. The super-plunging neckline and giant shoulders make for some odd proportions, but those are minor complaints when Britney actually looks red carpet-ready for the first time this decade.
ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELEY at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Valentino, shoes by Alexandre Birman
The color does absolutely nothing for her, though I think it could be beautiful on a darker-skinned woman. Regardless, that choker is a crime against humanity and destroys any chance she had at looking stylish. To me, nothing says “I’m at a rave in 1997!” quite like a choker.
RASHIDA JONES at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Vivienne Westwood, shoes by Rupert Sanderson
Pretty but painfully boring. I still can’t quite figure out why someone as gorgeous as Rashida Jones never looks as good as she could on the red carpet.
ZOOEY DESCHANEL at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Valentino, jewelry by Dana Rebecca Designs
That hair is HILARIOUSLY terrible on her. Like, I’m convinced her hair stylist was paid off by a competing hipster-starlet to intentionally make Zooey look like a complete moron at this party. And while I’m thrilled to see her in anything other than black stockings and black pumps, she is so not ready for a gown like this one. And that purse is embarrassing.
DIANE KRUGER at the Vanity Fair party
dress by Giambattista Valli, purse by Roger Vivier, shoes by Christian Louboutin
I rarely believe Diane Kruger can do anything wrong, but even I can’t pretend this awkwardly shaped, mullet-hemmed nightmare was a good idea. This looks stiff, uncomfortable, and completely fucking award, and the matching shoes are a nightmare.
ZOE SALDANA at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Givenchy, jewelry by Neil Lane, purse by Bottega Veneta, shoes by Roger Vivier
When Zoe AND Diane show up in horrible dresses, you know there’s got to be something in the water. There’s just no reasonable explanation for two such fabulously dressed women dropping the ball so terribly at the Oscars after-parties.
Worst Dressed: KAROLINA KURKOVA at the Vanity Fair party
gown by Atelier Versace, shoes by Jimmy Choo
Congratulations, Karolina – I think this is actually the ugliest gown I have ever laid eyes on. You should be very proud.
Can’t get enough Oscar coverage? Don’t miss Part 2 of the after-party fashion!