gown by Miu Miu, headband by Fred Leighton
There’s no better accessory in the world than a freshly-won Oscar. Not even that headband – and I do LOVE that headband. Anyway, Lupita has been downright killing it in all things Miuccia Prada lately, and that winning streak continued with this perfect column gown. The straps are my favorite – they almost look like they belong on a heavy-duty sports bra, but somehow, in a fabulous way. The neckline is really interesting, the green embellishments are lovely, and Lupita is just glowing in that “I JUST WON MY FIRST FUCKING OSCAR AND YOU CAN’T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME!” sort of way.
gown by Zuhair Murad
Is Chanel Iman gunning for a movie role? Because this model showed up looking every bit the A-list actress in her jaw-droppingly sexy Zuhair Murad gown. That color is a dream on her, and being a model, she’s got the almost obscenely tall-and-thin body that a dress like this demands. That neckline would be a mess on a shorter gal, as would the cut-outs on the hips. But Chanel is just perfectly divalicious in this look, and her hair is absolutely lovely.
dress by Tom Ford
PLEASE, TOM FORD, I AM BEGGING YOU. Dress J.Law for the awards shows themselves, and not just the after-parties. She looks so fucking delicious in the label’s modern, sexy, slightly androgynous-robot-looking styles – they’re much more suited to her fun-loving 21st century aesthetic than the stuffier, old-fashioned gowns Dior is always pushing at her. Bonus: she can even walk in this dress! What a concept!
dress by Valentino, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Gorgeous. Doing all black accessories, but in different textures? That was a stroke of styling genius. The breathtakingly delicate lace of dress is even more beautiful when juxtaposed with the embellished clutch and the shiny, patent-leather-looking pumps. And the earrings are a blast.
gown by Monique Lhuillier
A better gown for the Oscars than for an after-party, but I still think it’s a fantastic look. Emmy looks like the world’s most fashionable ballerina. I normally hate mullet skirts, but this one works perfectly. Every detail, from the sleeves to the shoes to the wine-colored lipstick, is just spectacular.
dress by Fendi, shoes by Brian Atwood
Super-fun. The glittering silver clutch reads as a little Christmassy when paired with the red dress, but everything else about this is pretty damn flawless. I even love the shoes, and you know I’m not usually one for the matchy-matchy thing. But the lips, dress, and shoes all in that same shade of bright orangey-red? It just looks so terrifically pulled-together. And those earrings? A dream come true.
top and skirt by Jenny Packham, purse by Jimmy Choo, shoes by Casadei
I’d hate this on literally anyone else, and even Elizabeth Banks sort of looks like a very fancy Muppet, but for some reason, I LOVE IT ON HER. Am I insane? Probably. But it doesn’t look like anything I’ve seen before, and Effie Trinket’s got the fashion skills to pull it off.
gown by Naeem Khan, purse by Edie Parker
A dream of a gown. She needed to amp up the hair, which looks sadly pedestrian, but everything else is gorgeous. Naomie’s another one of those actresses who I only learned about in the last year or so, but whom I have worshipped every time she’s hit the red carpet since then. This girl can fucking DRESS.
EVAN RACHEL WOOD
gown by Elie Saab
This stunning couture gown was my Fall 2013 prediction for Jessica Chastain. The lovely Evan Rachel Wood is head-to-toe old Hollywood glamour, from the fingercurl waves to the glitzy fringe-like bottom of the gown. She’s pretty damn spectacular.
gown by Julien Macdonald, purse by Emm Kuo
It’s traditional Taylor, but in black instead of her preferred whites, nudes, and reds. Just that change in color makes it so much more mature and sophisticated. Love the sheer stripe down the sleeve.
gown by Zuhair Murad, purse by Swarovski
Kristen Bell’s breasts defy gravity. This bodice is magical on her, even if the rest of the gown is a little predictable.
dress by Hugo Boss, purse by Roger Vivier, shoes by Christian Louboutin
You better work that sideboob, Miss Witherspoon! The proportions of the dress would work better in a shorter hemline. But I have to say, that little swoop on her shoes? A small detail, but it pulls together the whole look in a very modern, chic sort of way.
gown by Alexander McQueen, shoes by Kurt Geiger
Obsessed with the top of the gown. The rest doesn’t fit her particularly well, and I’m not sure red pumps were the way to go, but the straps and bust and cut-out look pretty fucking cool.
gown by Emilia Wickstead
Pretty, but not the most interesting thing on earth. (Pop quiz: am I talking about: A) Allison Williams, B) Allison Williams’s gown, or C) All of the above?)
gown by Viktor & Rolf, purse by Roger Vivier
Pretty, but it needs a necklace. And it might be better suited to someone ten-to-twenty years older than Anne.
gown by Zuhair Murad, purse by Salvatore Ferragamo
Seen it before. And illusion netting needs to be used sparingly or exceptionally well (usually both), otherwise the star wearing it looks like an Olympic ice dancer.
gown by Emilio Pucci
The texture is very cool, but the cut-out makes this silhouette a little bit awkward. And I hate sheer skirts over mini-dresses as a rule.
gown by Carolina Herrera, earrings by Tiffany & Co.
Boring and ill-fitting. It’s like your wardrobe is reminding the world that you didn’t win an Oscar.
gown by Kaufmanfranco, jewelry by Jacob & Co.
Cheap-looking and tacky. Miranda Kerr, you are better than this.
gown by Atelier Versace
This is the only dress she’s ever going to wear again, isn’t she?
gown by Alexander McQueen
NO ONE NEEDS THAT MANY BRACELETS.
gown by Atelier Versace, purse by Rauwolf
It’s not as bad as the gown she wore to the Oscars, but it suffers from some of the same problems – it’s overdesigned, it’s got awkward cut-outs, and it’s overall too severe for Anna Kendric.
gown by Oscar de la Renta
I know Zooey fancies herself a quirky little princess, and that birds wearing kohl eyeliner and sporting bangs probably dress in her in the morning. But could she maybe leave this dress for the Kiernan Shipkas of the world and dress like an adult?