Welcome back, dear readers. I hope you’ve got your bitching pants on, because there’s work to be done.
EVANGELINE LILLY in Los Angeles
gown by Alberta Ferretti, purse by Edie Parker
You know how sometimes, a gown is so heavenly, it actually emanates the sound of a choir of angels singing “Haaaaallelujah,” in perfect harmony? This is that gown.
EVANGELINE LILLY in Los Angeles
dress by Emanuel Ungaro, shoes by Tamara Mellon
Evangeline is quite the fashion chameleon. It’s not every woman who can go from ethereal will-o-the-wisp old Hollywood romance to modern, bright, power-clashing glamour without batting an eye.
EMILY BLUNT in New York City
gown by Dolce & Gabbana, shoes by Christian Louboutin
I love this gown (which I predicted Emma Stone would wear), I love Emily Blunt, I love Into The Woods, and I want to marry those shoes.
BRIE LARSON in New York City
gown by Rodarte, shoes by Christian Louboutin
She could have used a touch more jewelry, or perhaps a bright lipstick, but I adore the goth chicness of this dress.
FELICITY JONES in London
gown and shoes by Christian Dior
It’s a little bit weird for weird’s sake – the stripe makes it look like the whole gown is slightly off-kilter, and I think the ensemble didn’t need that detail AND the strangely-shaped skirt AND the random embroidery. But it’s interesting and statement-making and the shoes are glorious, so I’m inclined to support this.
JESSICA CHASTAIN in New York City
gown by Giorgio Armani
It’s not reinventing the wheel, but why reinvent anything that looks this fucking gorgeous?
ELIZABETH BANKS in Los Angeles
dress by Mary Katrantzou, purse by Edie Parker, shoes by Nicholas Kirkwood
I’m not the biggest fan of this print, but there’s no print so ridiculous that Elizabeth Banks can’t pull it off. The 50s Hollywood waves and stunning shoes sell this look hard.
ANNA KENDRICK in New York City
gown by Narciso Rodriguez, purse by Kate Spade
I’m a teensy bit underwhelmed. But Anna Kendrick has approximately eight thousand movies to promote over the next few months – Into the Woods, then The Last 5 Years, then Pitch Perfect 2 – so I’m okay with her starting off with something simple, but flawlessly executed.
ROSE BYRNE in New York City
dress by Mary Katrantzou, shoes by Stuart Weitzman
I just found your dream office holiday party outfit. You’re welcome.
KRYSTEN RITTER in Miami
dress by Balmain, purse by Jimmy Choo, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti
I love how unafraid Krysten Ritter is of color. Also, the matching lipstick is a dream come true.
KIERNAN SHIPKA in Los Angeles
dress by Mary Katrantzou, purse by Edie Parker
Dear Kiernan Shipka: I still want to be you. Sincerely, Someone Too Old To Want To Be You.
JULIANNE MOORE in Los Angeles
dress by Alexander Wang
Love the ombre effect, but everything else is snooze-worthy. The shoes are particularly disappointing.
AMY ADAMS in Los Angeles
dress by Dolce & Gabbana, shoes by Rupert Sanderson
The use of lace and cut-outs is expertly done, but there’s nothing else remarkable happening here.
SARAH HYLAND in Los Angeles
dress by Dsquared², purse by Rauwolf, shoes by Stuart Weitzman
The dress is fascinating, and the matching shoes are festive and fun. But those are some of the tackiest-looking hair extensions I’ve seen since Britney stopped making regular appearances on the red carpet.
NICOLE KIDMAN in Sydney
gown by Vera Wang
Vaguely Oregon-Trail-couture, but kind of chic.
TAYLOR SWIFT in London
dress by Sachin & Babi, shoes by Charlotte Olympia
You know I’m on board for wild prints, but even I draw the line at something this aggressively ugly. Still, Taylor Swift manages to look like a Barbie doll who had the unfortunate experience of being dressed in clothes a toddler made out of paper.
LADY GAGA in Washington, DC
gown by Valentino
It’s certainly the most clothes-resembling thing she’s worn in years, but I still can’t give a more enthused reaction than “meh.”
CAMERON DIAZ in New York City
dress and boots by Christian Dior
Are her boots tied into bows? Actively running away from her knees? Held together with trash bags? What is even happening here?
RITA ORA in Los Angeles
sweatshirt and skirt by Fausto Puglisi
I think I’m officially over Rita Ora.
ALYSSA MILANO in New York City
dress and corset by Dolce & Gabbana
Into The Woods is where this dress should be left. Far, far into the depths of the woods, where no one will ever find it again.