I haven’t seen Renee look this good in years. Her guns look great, her face doesn’t look particularly stupid, and she’s returned to an old favorite designer in a pretty damn fabulous gown. Good work.

Yum, yum, yum. I live and breathe Joanie here (but only when she’s dressed in character).

The woman is a street style force to be reckoned with. On a daily basis, she looks more put together than most of Hollywood does EVER. The genius is in the simple pieces – classic Ray Bans, killer sandals, a funky necklace, and a pop of color are all you ever really need.

But Rachel’s flaw is that her street style is better than her red carpet style. She doesn’t have a bad style, per se – those shoes are amazing, and I can see what she liked about the dress – but it never looks as complete as her day wear.

Her fashion sense is consistent – she favors simplicity, which usually comes off as boring, but here, it’s incredibly chic. I love when a whole outfit is built around one random accessory – like that giant necklace. Keeping things simple lets her classic beauty shine, but I’d love to see her in… (gasp) A PRINT!

Love this bitch. Move over, every other underage actress. This little diva has some serious style. And she knows something that most starlets twice her age can’t seem to figure out – that if you’re going uber-girly or uber-bridal with your dress, you better funk that up with some bold accessories. (But keep reading to see her keep it simple at an Oscar nominees event.)

Gorgeous dress, but those rubber-band rings have got to go.

Also, biddie in the background – loving your lime green shoes!

Gorgeous dress, great shoes, but could you at least have worn ONE accessory? Great hair, though.

Oof. The hair is limp, the makeup is too heavy, and I can’t support this dress. Animal prints are over, and she actually just looks like she forgot to put on pants.

Has this woman aged a day in the last ten years? Is Ashton Kutcher the fountain of youth, or does this bitch have the best plastic surgeon known to mankind?

Love me some FLOTUS in a matchy-match dress and coat.

This woman is the definition of hit-or-miss, with an emphasis on the latter. What the hell is that little tank-capelet hybrid? Over that awful print? With beach hair and no discernable makeup? No, honey. No.

Oof. Now the makeup’s too much. And that dress is a whole lot of tacky. Rhinestone flowers? Are we really wearing rhinestone flowers on our dresses? What fucking decade do you think this is?

Hilary, please: EAT A SANDWICH.

I need to call your attention to a few things:

1. Kim Kardashian is wearing this lunchbag-potato sack to a Silly Bandz promotional event.

2. On her left wrist, she is modeling the latest Silly Bandz, in the shape of – you guessed it – KIM KARDASHIAN.

3. Doesn’t that mannequin look like he’s trying to squeeze her elbow? I just think that’s funny.

Oh, and this is the ugliest effing dress I’ve ever seen.

This was one of my favorite dresses from Georges Hobeika’s Fall 2010 couture collection, but this is SO CLEARLY one of those dresses that a) only looks good on the runway b) cannot possibly look anything other than terrifying on a woman with a B cup or larger. I know Katy loves to show off the twins, and I can more than see why, but come ON. That’s got to be illegal in some states.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many fashion faux pas on one person before. Acid-washed jodhpur cropped leggings?! With boots that go within an inch of your pants, making you look frighteningly stumpy? With a scarf that makes your head appear to be in danger of flying off into the Manhattan skies? I even hate that shade of lipstick. Damn.

Sex on a stick. I’d usually give her shit for wearing a slit that high, but she’s in Vegas. The rules are just totally different there. Great colors, great matching the lipstick to the dress, but I’d lose the purse.

It’s like some of these starlets don’t even READ this blog! Blue crushed velvet with sheer sleeves – and velvet shoulders? With blue stockings? And that Zach Morris hairdo? I don’t fucking think so, Hayden.

Ohhh, honey. This is just sad. This is NOT how we do our hair and makeup for public appearances. This is barely acceptable for going to the grocery store. And tiny girls do not look good in wide-leg pants – trust me.

Oh hello, Sassy Latina Barbie! This dress is a smidge too short for my taste, but Selena has a killer set of getaway sticks (Backstage Barbie, that one’s for you). That color dress is delicious, the shoes are beyond fabulous, and overall, she’s never looked better.

You know, if I didn’t know who Miley Cyrus was, I’m pretty sure I’d be able to tell you just by this outfit that she would start America’s youth on a salvia trend because Disney won’t let her admit she smoked weed.

The 2011 Oscar Nominees Luncheon

That hair is actually the perfect color. Cute dress, digging the gold shoes with it.

This is straight-up dull for my girl Bellatrix. Love the unreasonably formal hair and makeup. Love the gloves even more.

God, this woman always looks like such a frigid bitch! Great color dress, but even the firiest reds and oranges can’t warm up this ice queen. And the shoes were a mistake and a half.

Snooze.

Simple, chic, age-appropriate. Can’t stop expressing my love for this bitch.

Doesn’t she look less pregnant than she has in recent weeks? Is that a thing? Oh, and smile, bitch. You’re pregnant and glowing and a very serious contender for Best Actress. I know your feet must hurt in those shoes, but it’s your fault for matching that pink satin to your purse. Rookie mistake.

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© Democracy Diva, 2011.