Welcome to the fashion industry’s favorite self-congratulatory ego-fest!
Best Dressed: JANELLE MONAE
dress by Tadashi Shoji, purse by Edie Parker, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Be still, my heart. Janelle brought it 1000%, and she is giving me all the Ellaria Sand from Game of Thrones caped realness I could ever want.
Runner-Up: DIANE KRUGER
gown by Prabal Gurung, jewelry by Monique Péan, purse by Edie Parker
It is impossible to go wrong when you combine Diane Kruger, Prabal Gurung, and a major fashion industry event. Always a recipe for jaw-dropping fabness.
Honorable Mention: AMANDA SEYFRIED
dress by Rodarte, jewelry by Monique Péan, shoes by Christian Louboutin
One more embellishment and she’d look like a craft store explosion, but this manages to just barely stay on this side of fabulous. It helps that the makeup is impeccable. Amanda Seyfried is TOO goddamn beautiful.
gown and purse by Monique Lhuillier, jewelry by Irene Neuwirth
As tall, thin, and art-deco-fabulous as the mother-fucking Chrysler building.
TARAJI P. HENSON
gown by Vera Wang, earrings by Maxior, shoes by Gianvito Rossi
The dress is actually not that remarkable, but I forgot that for awhile because Cookie is selling the ever-loving SHIT out of it.
gown by Banana Republic
Love the wintery pale gray of the dress juxtaposed with the dark lipstick. Also: pockets in a gown! A favorite of practical bitches everywhere.
gown by Diane von Furstenberg
The styling is only okay, but the gown is damn near perfect for her. I can’t even comprehend how long her legs look. They may actually be infinite.
gown by Christian Siriano
It could use a touch more polish in the fit of the top and the styling, but it’s fun and exuberant and Juliette Lewis just always looks like she’s having a great time while laughing at everyone around her. It’s extremely endaring.
jumpsuit by J. Mendel, jewelry by Irene Neuwirth, purse by Rauwolf, shoes by Paul Andrew
I know I should hate this, because those pants are a yo, ho, ho and a bottle of rum away from being a pirate costume, but she really brought this look together with the styling. The casually twisted knot of the bodice is sexy as hell, and the necklace brings a touch of rocker chic flair.
gown by Max Azria Atelier
A fantastic color (though Cookie wore it better). Cut-outs might be overdone, but at least these are a little bit interesting.
gown by H&M
Not the most memorable dress, but a quietly gorgeous look.
dress by Rachel Roy + RVN, purse by Edie Parker, shoes by Casadei
At such an industry-insider event, Brittany is a bit out-ranked in terms of red carpet slay-ability. Maybe that’s why she kind of seems like she’s playing dress-up someone else’s clothes.
gown by Sachin & Babi
Hate the illusion top; love the two-tone skirt.
gown by Calvin Klein, jewelry by Jennifer Fisher, shoes by Aquazzura
It’s official: a sideboob addiction epidemic has swept the fashion industry. See also: 95% of the Cannes amfAR Gala attendees.
gown and shoes by Michael Kors, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz
Necklines will get lower and slits will get higher, until one day, they meet in the middle, and the red carpet will finally become the nudist colony it has always longed to be.
dress by Dion Lee, purse by Lee Savage, shoes by Paul Andrew
I’ve seen this dress six thousand times this season.
dress by Thakoon, jewelry by Eva Fehern, purse by Lee Savage, shoes by Tabitha Simmons
Make that six thousand and one.
top and skirt by Lela Rose, earrings by H. Stern, purse by Lee Savage
I hate her hair so much, it actually hurts.
vest by Amanda Wakeley, top and skirt by Paule Ka, glasses by Leisure Society, purse by Lee Savage, shoes by Rene Caovilla
Katharine McPhee’s definition of “nerd chic” is apparently a sleeveless labcoat, boring clothes, and Harry Potter glasses. I do not approve.
gown and jewelry by Ralph Lauren
My eternal reaction to everything Katie Holmes wears:
gown by Solace London, jewelry by David Yurman, purse by Swarovski, shoes by Stuart Weitzman
KIM KARDASHIAN and KANYE WEST
Kim’s dress by Proenza Schouler
Do they ever wear anything else? Also, Kayne’s slippers look cozy.
top and skirt by Rosie Assoulin
Two words: Rotting pomegranate.
ASHLEY OLSEN and MARY-KATE OLSEN
ensembles by The Row, shoes by Chanel
Does anyone have a spare sense of humor lying around? These two look like they could really use one.
Worst Dressed: JULIANNA MARGULIES
gown by Michael Kors
I would rather have my eyes gouged out slowly with a spoon than look upon this travesty for another moment. GOOD DAY.